Holding the Title

“I just got married.”

“Wow, congratulations.”

“Thank you”

“Did you get the title yet?”


“Yes, the piece of paper that says you own him now.”

“What do you mean?”

“From now on, anything acquired in this marriage could someday be yours, because you have the papers to prove that you own him and are entitled to his hard-earned money, recreational possessions, and of course; the house. The law is on your side, especially if you have children”


“Yes, you must have at least one, as soon as possible. That is called insurance. You will fare much better with insurance. It pays dividends for many, many, years”

“Really? I never thought of it that way. How is this possible?”

“You are a woman, and the courts always favor the vagina. They just love the vagina. The vagina always wins.”

“Thank you for telling me this. How did you get so smart?”

“I have a vagina.”

Does this conversation seem a little far-fetched to you? A tad ridiculous? Yes, it is. But its parody mimics real-life reality. If you are a man, especially a young man, this could be your future. A very real future if you get married. There is an expression: “Look before you leap.” It is very sound advice. Regrettably, so many men ignore it. It is a life-altering event not easily undone. And don’t be so naive to not think that most women don’t already know this before entering into a marriage. Perhaps there should be a new expression. If you really look, you won’t leap.

Women virtually hold the title. Just you try to get it back. It will be like fighting off a hostile takeover when the courts act as a Board of Directors that are voting you; the CEO, right out of your own company, leaving you, the titled merchandise scratching your head in disbelief and asking yourself ‘what the fuck just happened?’

I asked a man once, “Why do you always lease your cars? Why not just purchase one, and when you are done with the payments, you own it.” He said to me with a smile, “Because every three years I get to turn it in for a newer model, or even a different model with minimal maintenance costs, and no long term commitment

Until there is true equality for men in marriage, divorce, and parenthood, I think that men should lease and not buy. Because yeah, you will always have those payments, but in the end it is cheaper. And nuthin’ beats that new car smell.

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