[dropcap]D[/dropcap]ating ads. I’ve read a lot of them. Hundreds certainly, maybe thousands. These are ads written by women, presumably with the intent of attracting the interest of a man. Can you guess how many of them were appealing to me? How many of these ads made me think, hey this one sounds pretty good? Not a single one.
Of the thousands of personal ads written by women that I’ve read, how is it that not even one appealed to me? Does this mean I don’t like women? No. That I’m gay, maybe?
No, I like women just fine. In fact, I love women, which makes the total failure of the segment of the female population writing these things even more appalling.
What this means is that personal ads written by women are not actually written with a male reader in mind, or even with a grasp of what a man is. They’re wish fulfillment fantasies, driven by a disproportionate sense of entitlement, and informed by a feminist-based total failure to understand that a man is not simply a woman with outboard plumbing and a moustache.
It’s true that audience of the site is largely male, and that’s okay, but For the remainder of this article I’ll be addressing female readers. I’m confident a few women outside of MRA circles may see it, and it’s to them I’m writing. I hope the article provides some useful service.
I’m going to address a few of the common fantasies found in women’s personals. We’ll start with the titles, since that’s the first thing anybody browsing such posting will see.
[box type=”note” icon=”none”][unordered_list style=”star”]
- Can you be my cuddly baby forever?
- Looking for my prince charming
- Goldilocks searching for “just right”
[/unordered_list][/box]
Forever? Prince Charming? I didn’t make these up. These are actual titles of meet-and-greet ads in the “women seeking men” sections of major dating sites. I didn’t make up a single one of these lines. They are all copy-pasted straight from those websites, and are in fact quite typical.
Are you a woman who’s written something along these lines? Okay, so you watched a lot of Disney animations as a child and it shaped your view of reality. Maybe you’d like to try on a pair of glass slippers?
The assumptions built into these titles are straight out of children’s fairy tales, and do not reflect reality. Assuming for a moment that your ad connects you to a man you’re compatible with, it simply won’t work. Your stated expectations based on children’s fantasy literature will poison any hope of a successful relationship, princess.
In addition, to most men who live in the real world, a woman entering the conversation with these kind of expectations is utterly unattractive. Men do not like women infected with the crazy.
So, allow me to assist you in your future endeavors to write more cogent and reasonable personal ads. Let’s call it “Manuel’s Manual for Spotting Your Own Bullshit.”
Here are the red flags to look for
The following are all deal breakers. Some of these indicate that an ad was posted by a software robot rather than a human, some indicate that you are simply psychotic.
[box type=”alert” icon=”none”]Going For Walks Along The Beach –
If your ad says this, you might want to verify you are a real person. If you are a real person, and you’ve ever included this phrase in an online ad, kill yourself. Don’t even finish reading this article. Just go.[/box]
[box type=”note” icon=”none”]Not Looking For Sex –
If your ad says this, you’re lying. Stop wasting everybody’s time, including your own. Obvious signs of dishonesty and deception are at the very top of most men’s red-flag list. Not looking for sex? Then don’t post a personal ad, dip-shit.[/box]
[box]Personal Ads Formatted as Job Ads –
So you want to structure your potential relationship as if you’re the employer, and men are job applicants. The lucky one you pick is your employee.[/box]
Red Flags in Your “requirements”
[box type=”alert” icon=”none”]Over six feet tall –
This is standard boilerplate, and it’s so nice to read. It makes a man really glad you appreciate that he’s more than a slab of meat for your entertainment. It’s especially sweet when the height requirement is accompanied by your self-identification as a BBW, with curves in all the right places.
Why not just say you’re fat and you want a tall man to make you feel smaller and attractive? Honesty goes a long way.[/box]
[box type=”note” icon=”none”]Family Oriented –
This is a great one. What exactly does it mean? If a guy has a family already, I guess he’s family oriented already, and if that’s the case, keep off him. If he’s single, do you imagine he wants to throw away his financial and personal independence to start paying your bills, or better yet, paying for the snotty kids from the last three Prince Charming’s who pushed your thighs apart? For you, a clue, get one.[/box]
[box icon=”none”]Pic for Pic –
This means of course, that you are unwilling to post your picture, but you expect the guy to post his. Better than this is “no pic, no reply” The absolute requirement that the man responding to your ad include his picture, while you haven’t disclosed your own. One standard for yourself, and another standard for your prospective Prince Charming? Nice.[/box]
Speaking of pictures, on some personal sites, when the meet-and-greet contains a picture, it shows an icon in the title indicating to readers that the ad’s author not only wrote something worth reading, but included their photo as well.
In a classified ad for a used car, a reader could reasonably expect an included photo to be a picture of the car. When a reader of a personal ad clicks through to view the text and photo of your personal ad, why are they presented with a clip-art picture of a kitten, a sunset, a bunch of trees, a single cut rose, or anything else other than a picture of you?
Did you include a photo to get more people clicking through to read it? If the picture is not of you, then it’s bait-and-switch. Demonstrations of dishonesty, misdirection and deceptive manipulation are a GREAT way to win trust and love. No, really, starting out with obvious lies really turns guys on. Really.
Women apparently love lists, and this is never more obvious than when reading meet-and-greet ads written by them.
All the qualities you’re looking for:
Over six feet tall,
Family-minded, handsome, charming, romantic, responsible, financially stable, professionally employed, generous, must love dogs and children, must love rollerblading, loves to do dishes, etc etc.
If men wrote ads like this,they would say :
Looking for a 21 year old smokin-hot-blonde with:
[unordered_list style=”tick”]
- double-D cup tits
- 10 million dollars in the bank
- sex addiction
- gourmet cooking skills
- no kids
- a love of doing housework
- no inclination to criticize
- and has no gag reflex
That’s a deliberately absurd example , but the thing missing from every add I’ve seen, is anything a man might want.
The purpose of a dating ad is to attract the interested attention of available individuals of your preferred sex, right? So, if what you’re looking for is a man, the ad should convey some indication that you, the author of the ad – possess some qualities that this hypothetical man will enjoy. Am I going to fast for you here?
Information about you.
[box type=”alert” icon=”none”]Loves to laugh –
As opposed to women who hate to laugh? Humour is so inefficient isn’t it? And people who love to laugh. They’re special, aren’t they?[/box]
[box type=”tick” icon=”none”]Wants to settle down –
Okay, have fun with that. Seriously, this is duck-speak, and what it really means is you’ve partied yourself into middle age, and now you’re looking for somebody to pay your bills, and probably pay for the children of the bad-boys you’ve been fucking for the past 15 years. No thanks.[/box]
[box type=”note” icon=”none”]Looking for Marriage –
This is choice nugget is fodder for a dozen articles itself. Stated succinctly, marriage version 2.0 is a construct affording legal and financial advantage to women, and legal and financial liability to men. What your’e really looking for is a somebody to fund you and do work on your behalf; someone who you can dispose of at will while retaining a portion of his earnings. There is no wage gap, and men are increasingly alert to the bad bet marriage is for them.[/box]
[box icon=”none”]Financially Independent, Wealthy, Generous, Established Professional, etc –
Ladies, there are hundreds of ways to say you’re a whore – but why do it when you’re trying to attract a man? Why do you imagine that you should be paid for your company?[/box]
Financially established is a quality I look for when I’m seeking investors in a business, because that’s a fiscally based relationship. Financially established is NOT a criteria for attraction or friendship. If it happens that you are, in actual fact a prostitute – but you’ve posted your ad in a dating site, then you’re misrepresenting your services, and that’s bad business practice.
Speaking of advertisements for prostitutes – women writing dating ads could take a lesson. Whores of the literal “pay me for sex” variety generally know how to compose a compelling advertisement. Also, while their ads tend to use exaggerated language – such as: “best blow-job in town”, they generally have a quality that romantic meet-and-greet adds lack. It’s a quality men find irresistible.
Honesty.
Thank you for your kind attention.
Manuel Dexter; single, not looking.
