Gentlemen, My Ass Thanks You


The Empire State Building - costructed in 1930. Safety wasn't invented till much later.

I’m stuck. Truly stuck in the past. A past that was created long before I was born. The history of men; an undeniable history that occurs to me every single time I leave the house. A house I might add, that was designed and built by men over eighty three years ago.

I love my house. Its ‘grandfather house’ was built by a carpenter that raised a family here in my neighborhood. When his daughters were grown, he built them each a summer bungalow side-by-side; adjacent to his property right off of the canal. My home is one of them. It is just right for me, and I simply adore it. Oh, and don’t mistake the word “bungalow” for a small dwelling. (Although technically, ‘a bungalow’ does not have a full basement, which I have) It’s a real nice, spacious home.

I was recently sent an email with photos of the Empire State Building- while it was being built….by men.

I can’t look at a single photo without thinking about women. How the hell would they have done this? Even if the argument “men did not allow women to do this sort of work back then” held any fucking water with me; there’s no way women could have done it. Mind you there are plenty of men not suited for this sort of work, but men were the only ones doing it nevertheless. And I will wager by and large that they were the only ones who could.

Look at these photos. Do you see any safety harnesses, or girly powder room accomodations? Note the trust of two men working on a plank supporting each other. Also notice the lunchtime ‘break room.” Can you imagine any women up there?

I’m sorry, I just cannot.

Women that hold jobs like these nowadays, have all the benefits of progress and safety afforded them in our modern world. And of course as women started to enter those jobs, everyone started scrambling to make them safer.

Men built our cities without these comforts and technology. No accommodations were made. You either had what it took under primitive dangerous conditions; or not.

Also note that many of these men are well past their ‘prime’. Imagine a sixty year old woman up there on the iron. Do you see her? Do you see her there because she doesn’t know any other way of life, and her age is valued for its experience and tenacity?

Nope…I most certainly do not. And the only place you will is in your imagination.

No matter how you slice the feminist cake; gender equality does not, cannot, exist. If not for the superlative accommodating conditions created by men, in the workplace we’d not even be having this conversation. I do not hate women. I resent that they take for granted, or have taken credit for all the comforts afforded them.

The Empire State Building - costructed in 1930. Safety wasn't invented till much later.

There now, I’ve said it.

Men built the roads. And now women drive right over them with a sense of ownership reserved for those that paid for it with sweat and blood; mindless of the lost lives and broken bodies that went into every mile of pavement.

Any job I can think of that a woman holds today in a man’s field of expertise; makes me want to see her doing it– a hundred years ago.

Every time I flush my toilet in the wintertime – thinking that the seat was cold – I think about women in past days running outside into the bitter cold to their outhouse in the middle of the night, literally freezing their asses off.

And my slightly chilly ass suddenly remembers to thank all of the men that helped create, and perfect, indoor plumbing.

My ass is indubitably grateful.

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