Why won’t sex-obsessed men have sex with me?

Siobhan Rosen has a problem. She has bought into the crude cultural stereotype of men as wanton lusty sex-beasts and MEN AREN’T MEETING HER EXPECTATIONS. Heavens forefend! Let us break out the giant boxes of tissue, so we may weep with her in her overwhelming plight.

 

Hey, guys, recognize these excuses for not having sex?…I do, because I’ve been hearing them from men—a.k.a., the supposedly sex-obsessed sex—far too much. These days, more often than you’d think, guys are begging off the one thing we women are expecting you to beg for.

You hear that guys? A woman wants to have sex, and you’re not behaving as a robotic dildo that plunges her nethers on command. Instead, you’re SELFISHLY expressing your “moods.” Men don’t get to have moods! Be ashamed.

…to frame it positively: I want to have sex more than they do. I don’t expect laundry Sunday to unfold like Basic Instinct. But getting laid four or five times a week? That would be nice.

Oh, well clearly that’s the fault of men. After all, you’re a woman, entitled to man parts at beck and call.

…plenty of my female friends are having the same problem.

 

Horror! You mean to tell me MULTIPLE women want sex, and their sex toys men aren’t complying?  

To be fair (and painfully obvious): Men are human, too. You guys have feelings and problems and hungers that sometimes take precedence over boning. Maybe you had too many beers and are experiencing acute alcohol-related performance anxiety.

Or maybe we’re not feeling it tonight. Or maybe you’re bad in bed. Or maybe you’ve let your looks go. Or maybe we really are just tired, for genuine reasons.

Or maybe your not-in-the-moodness has to do with something bigger: the ubiquity of porn—effortlessly consumed like a drive-through value meal

 

Ah! Of course—sex obsessed men aren’t having sex with you on command because of PORN! You want it, he’s not giving it. Blame the internets!

But still, it can be hard for us ladyfolk to reconcile your unwillingness to bed us with the larger cultural perception that all men are Wile E. Coyote-level schemers trying to get laid.

 

Well maybe it is because that larger cultural perception is BULLSHIT designed to tie male identity to their success at pleasing women.

And to be denied in light of that? It’s enough to make us think you’re a dick for withholding yours. See, women take it personally.

 
Do you guys see what you’ve done? You’ve committed the great crime of acting on the basis of your normal human feelings and desires. You’re denying women the sex they’re entitled to. Because everybody knows men are nothing but a body attached to a throbbing hunk of genitals.

After years of battling the dreaded sexlesshousewife stereotype, we’re careful not to nonchalantly spurn your advances. But now we have to worry about morphing into the other sitcom cliché—the dopey husband, pawing pathetically for a bone.

 
Well, I don’t think women should be stereotyped as “sexlesshousewives” but nor do I think men should be stereotyped as slavering sex beasts.

There are only so many times even the most brazen among us are going to get rejected before icily retreating into non-initiation mode forever. And just in general, we keep tabs on these kinds of things.

 
Really? Are tabs those things men click on while they’re compulsively watching porn? And what’s all this about retreating? I thought women were strong and independent and better than men at everything.

A week goes by without sex? We notice. I get the feeling men don’t monitor the situation in such a macro sense.

 
So we’re obsessed with sex, but we don’t keep track of how many times we have sex in a week?

As far as you’re concerned, a good sex life is just having sex when you feel like having sex. But guess what? That’s selfish. Sex is a two-way street!

 
Or maybe a good sex life, to us, is not having sex with ignorant boorish women. How selfish of us!

The larger point is: Just try saying yes to us more often.

 
Fair enough. Sex is a normal human desire, and I think it’s great for both genders to desire a healthy sex life.

I also can pretty much guarantee you won’t regret getting busy, either. It’s not a trip to the dentist’s chair, it’s sex. Three minutes in, you’re going to be having a blast.

 
Well actually, I’d rather have my wisdom teeth re-implanted and then removed if it was a choice between that and having sex with Miss Siobhan. Suffice to say, any man who wrote an article like this would be getting called a rapist by a significant percentage of society right now.
So here’s the deal. It’s healthy to want sex. It’s wonderful to desire physical intimacy with someone you are already close to. And partners should be willing to step outside of their comfort zone on occasion, as long as trust is established. But do not assume that your partner is supposed to get in the mood simply because you’re in the mood.
Talk with each other. Care for each other. A man who feels cared for by a woman he loves and desires will walk through a field of broken glass for a chance to spend time with her. He’s not a lusty sex beast. He’s not a robotic dildo for your jollies. He’s not a porn addict with deflated genitalia. He’s a human being. You know that, right?
Watch TyphonBlue’s video for a female opinion on this issue.

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