As I was shoveling off my computer desk earlier today, I came across the following essay. It was a direct response to both Greg Canning’s “Designer Vaginas”1 and his cited article, “The Large Labia Project.” No women appear to be dropping dead from the procedure, but now that Labioplasty has been cast as “body-shaming” it’ll likely continue to make the mainstream news. (I just confirmed this by checking the Huffington Post and sure enough: women are threatening to do-it-to-themselves2.)
Back on March 8th I sent the following e-mail to The Large Labia Project’s author and got no response. I so hate for a witty, insightful rant to sit on the shelf. Besides, I believe AVfM’s readers will find its points effectively further the case that Feminists Are Hypocrites.
Dear Ms. Ford:
By the time I read your Feb. 13th, 2013 article3 it was Mar. 6th, 2013 and the comments were closed. Since your news-site says, “We love comments that articulate a different point of view, a witty insight, some humour or a shared experience” I wanted to offer a 1500-word response that sort of poured out in the middle of the night. You see, I “came of age” before the Internet, therefore before online genital photo-galleries were even dreamt of – so I had more challenges than you can imagine when it came to concluding whether or not I was “normal.”
This essay then, is from a very personal place and hence a passionate place. The opening section below (I included the first 4 paragraphs) will give you a sense of my writing style and yes, I know it’s pretty abrasive at times, but like I said, I’m passionate about this.
Thanks for your time,
Patrice Stanton
Where’s the Beef?
Seriously, ladies, I fail to see what the problem is.
Since time immemorial (well, at least since the early 1960’s) females have been paying men (mostly) to break their noses and realign them; to cut their faces off, hoist them up, and stitch ‘em back on; to shove medical vacuum-cleaners into sundry fatty-deposits to suck them skinny; and lastly, they’ve paid through that now-perfect nose of theirs to have men (mostly) slash open their chests and shove various bags of squooshy stuff into those previously “inadequate” boob-cavities.
So now surgical “beautification” has gone where men (mostly) have never gone before: to the female Nether Regions. Honestly, can you think of a better example of being “Pro-Choice” on the planet? If any of you liberated female fuddy-duddies are so opposed to these body-modification practices it’s pretty damn simple: don’t (pay anybody to) do them…
But if you merely want to continue controlling the debate – along with other women’s lives by shaming their choices – please, as you play your perennial Blame-Game, consider the following:
False Parallels
Comparing forced Female-Genital-Mutilation (fFGM) to what I’ll call elective Female-Genital-Modification (eFGM) is a false parallel. [NOTE: forced Male-Genital-Mutilation (fMGM), a.k.a. routine infant circumcision, is just as evil as fFGM.]
Sliced-up children, regardless of their sex, are VICTIMS. Individual females – whether 13 or 30 – who walk into surgical consults are CONSUMERS. [O.K. I’m willing to argue against laws prohibiting medical practitioners from contacting parents in the case of minors seeking invasive/life threatening procedures, but that’s a separate discussion.]
Blame vs. Accepting Responsibility
As seems to be the case so often in all things Feminine, outspoken defenders-of-That-Sex seem to confuse the diametrically opposed concepts of Blame and Responsibility. Women falling “victim” to later-lamented eFGM might very well be pitiable, however, readers grounded in reality won’t be so quick to join that chorus. Not that they’re hard-hearted…but because they get it: in life, bad choices (a.k.a. mistakes) happen.
What an individual does after they’ve made that mistaken choice, though, is crucial. Will they act like an adult? If so, they accept the consequences and suck-it-up. They accept their “stupid” or fix what they’ve broken and/or make amends where possible. In short they learn from their error and thereby grow in maturity (which means they possess increased personal integrity).
They are, in the eyes of anyone who sees their acceptance and responsible handling of the situation, all the more honorable for having worked through it.
If an individual is immature, therefore not grounded in reality, they are in for more than the average number of “mistakes.” And they won’t even see most of ‘em coming. For these types, male or female, living under the pretense that reality is simply what “one perceives in their own mind” (or in that collective, enlightened, hive-mind they merged with, in college) will make for a steady stream of disappointments. Some potentially lethal.
They’ll wander around zombie-like in the school of hard-knocks, perhaps perpetually…always studying, never graduating.
Maybe it’s Maybelline® but probably it’s Photoshop®
Please don’t whine that you’re being manipulated, like some zombie consumer, controlled by the evil corporate-capitalists that drive the current culture. (See? Here’s the eXit and Off buttons.) In the West, at a certain point in our lives we all learn that what’s on TV or in a magazine or catalog “may have been enhanced to show details.” And we usually learn it by the age of 7. (Or else continue to go la-la-la-la to avoid that lesson.)
Of course not all of us pined for a Barbie® dreamhouse; not all of us got that 3-story pink molded plastic cultural reality-check. But those who did had their tiny hearts broken by believing it would be “as shown on TV.” And… by recovering from that disappointment (that the elevator didn’t move as smoothly – or on its own – because the human-hands were hidden off camera) we few, we fortunate few, grew up. Just a little. Until the next ad campaign at least.
But everyone – in the West – has, beyond a shadow of a doubt, had the fast-food hamburger reality-check. We know there are no actual burgers at any fast-food restaurant, that when served, look that pristine, that fresh, that juicy-moist. So it is with magazine cover-girls, cosmetic spokes-actresses, centerfold play-girlz, or TV and movie icons of pulchritude.
The days of Something/Something/and the American Way are gone. Surveys say that’s the way we want it now. That’s the new truth. It’s the new reality. Sorry. Oh, and more bad news (read: more reality): even your average hum-drum fashion shoot doesn’t remain untouched by the “miracle performing pixies inside every box” of Photoshop®4.
Women Reject Equality
So now, these girls (who refused to grow-up) have become defenders-of-the-female-Sex… and continue to prove Equality was never their goal. Their lack of civil discourse in so many venues, on so many subjects, seems more than adequate proof “equality” wasn’t even part of their philosophical ancestresses original vision.
The sudden volatility in discussions of voluntary female genital modification was inevitable. It’s just one more example of a collective howl of foul arising against men and it happens every full moon for every conceivable wrong-against-women “detected” in Western society. It’s the Patriarchy, don’t ya know.
All along, though, the matriarchs wanted to act like men – or at least like the fictitious ones their college hive-mind feminist profs fabricated for them – well, at least when it suited them. They wanted to “have at” life just like those Frankenstein men of theirs: with “no regrets” and seemingly “no consequences.”
So now they watch and read “porn” – and other more mainstream yet increasingly explicit materials. And once again too many women-acting-like-men just can’t handle it… like men. They seek to be released from the responsibility that inevitably follows: of letting such imagery grow on them. These deluded broads refuse to be held accountable for not thinking outside the box. For not “getting it,” for not getting that it’s fiction for heaven’s sake. So what do they do? Why, they play the Blame-Game. After they or their sisters have rushed off to a surgeon to get this or that bit “fixed” (raised up to a fictional standard) they turn around and blame their mistake on the men they so stupidly claimed they were just like.
It would take a stand-alone article to fully analyze the women who “wear whatever they want” (read: dress like sluts, uber-provocatively) but get offended when men look at what’s exposed or – heaven forbid – treat them like actual sluts.
But it’s time to reveal the winner of the whole naughty-bits Blame-Game, so listen up, ladies. (Particularly those of you who see a Patriarch-ist around every corner, under every bed, and repairing every imagined glass-ceiling your sisters finally managed to “break through.”
The Missing Lynx
The “player” I contend you need to be blaming – or at least dialoging with – is a lot closer to home. In fact she’s in your apartment, or, if you’re on your own, she’s back home. Where you supposedly grew up. It’s your dear old (probably strong, independent, and single…) Mother. Sure, now she might be acting like a “cougar,” but for sure she’s no lioness. Because if she had been, you’d be smarter about the real world. Mother lions, after all, do more than just feed and protect their offspring. Equally importantly, they recognize the value and necessity of their lion. Modern human females (like your mother?) on the other hand… not-so-much.
(“Traditionalism” Alert) If you had grown up with a more hands-on mother and an in-home father you’d have learned something that can’t be gotten on a college campus, or by reading Sex-Relationship-Health columns in your favorite magazines, or by getting naked and leaping astride anything & everything on two legs you found momentarily appealing.
That is: Everyday men love everyday women.
Then, if your parents had done the hard thing (and stayed together) at some point you might have been shocked to discover your father watches and reads all those same kinds of racy things you now do – but he stayed with your mom, an actual un-Photoshopped® female! For better and, perhaps, through an awful lot of worse.
Maybe your brother would have learned something, too, if he’d been allowed to grow up with his father in his life. That everyday men can be entertained by fictions but don’t honestly expect their women to look like lifesize plastic dolls: top-heavy and smooth-everywhere-save-their-skull.
Going, Going, Gone
So, ladies (and gents), be honest. Do you really need to look at a book of naughty “mugshots” to understand there’s a wide world of variation out there? Ever heard that every single person has a different looking set of fingerprints? I’d bet it’s got something to do with everyone’s unique DNA.
If your mother (or father) isn’t available or you’re unwilling to ask one of them to give you the skinny on the matter, allow me. The dirty “little” secret is this: once a female has successfully hit and survived women-o-pause they’ll have next-to-nothing left to worry about. 😉
Patrice Stanton
1 http://www.avoiceformen.com/feminism/designer-vaginas/
2 http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/24/designer-vagina-labiaplasty-surgery-video_n_3149494.html
3 http://www.dailylife.com.au/news-and-views/dl-opinion/the-large-labia-project-20130225-2f1jl.html
4 Forgive me, Adobe® wan kenobi, I totally made this one up.
