69 ways for feminists to be decent human beings
This is a response to Michael Urbina’s “list” that attracted a lot of attention while very few noticed that his list is borderline Orwellian in many respects.
Whilst I have always disliked feminist ideology because of its inherent lies and corruption, I still think that feminist individuals can be decent human beings if they try hard enough. Unlike Michael Urbina, I won’t conflate feminism (which is a cult-leaning political ideology) with women (which is a huge and diverse group of people of roughly 3.6 billion individuals). When I took my first red pill, long before the Internet existed, little did I know that it would take me down an unsuspecting, beautiful, and transformative path towards being a decent human being. So below, I’ve complied a list of 69 everyday ways for feminists to be decent and compassionate human beings.
I must acknowledge that this post was written towards feminists who already smell that something’s rotten in the Kingdom of Denmark; this is a possible target audience due to lack of support from this group. However, I feel that many of these points are applicable on a broader scale. If you have suggestions or additions to this list, my e-mail is at the end of this post. I’m totally open to dialogue.
1. Recognize your privileges
Despite the constant claims that feminism is a grass-roots movement, in fact, it is not. In Europe, Australia, India, North America and several other places, feminism is the system. Consequently, the feminist ideology almost always gets the privilege of being the only one heard when discussing public policy in the aforementioned areas whilst other positions that include genuine compassion for men and consideration to logic and factual reality get little to no coverage.
2. Make a daily effort to acknowledge and then challenge your privilege.
In order to be successful in your quest to be a decent human being, you must make a daily effort to understand the privilege your ideology has. As a supporter of the powers that be, it is your social responsibility to be conscious of your privileges. Use this consciousness to explore different situations. For example, how would a situation been different if it were a man in this position? Would you object if a woman would be ordered to pay child support to her rapist?
3. Recognize that your privilege may in fact blind you to others’ experiences.
Feminism comes with the privilege of being ignorant to factual reality and common sense. So being a decent human being and a feminist is not perfect by any means. You will make mistakes. What you choose to do after making a mistake is what will determine your effectiveness in being a decent human being. Therefore, it is very important to come to terms with the fact that you do not know everything! Because of our privilege, you are going to be blinded to situations that only more qualified would be able to speak to. So please, recognize this blind spot and don’t take it personally when someone corrects you for overlooking something.
4. Laughing at male mutilation… Really? Stop that.
If you are serious in becoming a decent human being, I think this point is somewhat obvious. We’ve seen Sharon Osbourne laughing at a man being permanently sexually mutilated by his wife for daring to ask for a divorce. Guess what? Mutilation of men is not funny. Don’t be that feminist!
5. Stop infantilizing women
Seriously. Women aren’t children. They are grown up people and grown-ups have flaws, just like everyone else and have strengths, just like everyone else. Consequently, they don’t need you to tell them what to do. They don’t need you to issue fatwas regarding porn, makeup, shaving or any other behavior. They are big girls and can handle the issues themselves as they see fit. By telling them what to do, you are promoting a sexist culture. You are not giving women the right to feel empowered and comfortable with their lives and choices, you are taking away their right to stand on their own merit. Stop now.
6. Stop assuming that random people hate you just because they disagree with you
This may be a surprise to you, but disagreement isn’t always a sign of potential hatred. Sometimes, it just means the person is nice and wants you to acknowledge that you may be mistaken in your views. (I hope you’re picking up my tone)
7. Stop being a sexist asshole
Asking all men to cross the street if it’s only them and a woman-queen on the same sidewalk late at night is not only sexist, stupid and totalitarian, but it’s also completely parallel with factual reality, considering that women are the least likely demographic to be a victim of a violent attack by a stranger. Also, most people are decent human beings, just like you are aspiring to be by reading this list.
8. If someone is chivalrous towards you, say “thank you”
In my country, children are taught at a very young age to say “thank you” when someone gives them something or helps them with something. It’s part of being a decent person. You should try it more often.
9. Treat people with respect
As a feminist, you are probably sucked into the oppressor-oppressed mentality or worse, that all men are rapists and are just waiting around the corner to kill or rape a woman. However, as stated on #7, most people are decent human beings and, this might come as a surprise to you, that includes men. Yes, men are good. I know this is shocking to you, but please bear with me and try to grasp how the real world works.
10. Enjoy popular culture with equitable circumspection
Yes, there are a lot of nasty things in pop culture but this is why nature gave you a brain – to use it. Whilst in no way should you take for granted what the popular culture gives you, at the same time you should make an effort not to view everything through an ideological lens. Yes, there are sexist commercials (e.g. see the Misandry in the media series) but going ballistic on a commercial that shows a girl in a bikini on a car whilst ignoring the hundreds of thousands of commercials that depict and glorify violence against men won’t solve the problem. Moreover, these issues can be solved a lot easier if you just stop buying the product, encourage others to do the same and write a letter to the company. You know… like a grown up decent human being. All you need to do if you choose to pay attention to these issues is to do it in an equitable manner.
11. Be comfortable with being uncomfortable.
This point is extremely important AND vital. The only way to acquire compassion is to put yourself out there, especially in situations that make you uncomfortable. For instance, try to read blogs like the Community of the Wrongly Accused, participate in dialogues about the over 40% disparity in sentencing between men and women and seek out spaces with a lot of people to talk about compassion. Often times, these articles and dialogues consists of difficult conversations surrounding male and female nature that could make you fell targeted and singled out as a member of that group whose behavior is being generalized. But if you want to be a decent human being, it is your social responsibility to stay and understand these issues, despite discomfort.
Other people’s experiences and knowledge are the core of being a decent human being. While nobody is asking to take other people’s experiences for granted without fact-checking and judging it for yourself, there are a lot of things you could learn about in this day and age if you properly listen.
13. Never force your opinions on other people.
Learn to step back. Stop leading conversations, especially in feminist settings where most of your ideological colleagues tend to think that arguing means spouting “shut the fuck up” and listening means singing “cry me a river” when the issue of men committing suicide 4 to 7 times more than women is brought up. Collaboration and communication requires that all people be heard and respected. I know it can be hard to grasp that women aren’t angels and men aren’t monsters, but it’s a nice thing to try to listen and come to terms with the fact that your ideology is rarely consistent with factual reality.
14. Be pro-choice, not pro-entitlement.
Whilst very few people disagree that a woman should have the right to decide on her own body, you have to understand that the science of the “clump of cells” argument is still shady and under the “abortion” label, infanticide is being advocated by feminist-influenced “ethicists”. That’s one thing. Another thing is that being pro-choice doesn’t imply that the State should foot the bill for that choice (as is the case in most European nations), nor that the State should foot the bill for birth control pills. Pro-choice means exactly that: being able to make a choice. Anything above that is pro-entitlement and the entitlement mentality is what ruins the Western culture. If you want to be pro-choice, please, by all means, be that. But please, cut the entitlement thing.
15. Pick up some good books from the store to start off
One major aspect of being a decent human being is education. Put in the work and seek the appropriate resources. Here are some great books that I would suggest starting out with!
1. Everything George Orwell wrote (particularly “1984” and “Animal farm”)
2. Dr. Helen Smith – Men on Strike: Why Men Are Boycotting Marriage, Fatherhood, and the American Dream – and Why It Matters – it applies to the letter for the US, Canada, Europe, India, Australia, NZ and increasingly some countries of Africa (such as Nigeria).
3. Dr. Warren Farrell – The Myth of Male power.
4. Women, gender and fascism in Europe – 1919-1945. An absolutely fascinating collection of stories. I recommend those dealing with the Hungarian dictator Bella Kun which was the first one to bring concepts and ideas now known as “women’s studies” in late 30s Hungary.
16. Get involved with school programs and events.
In the Western world, a lot of school programs (particularly those dealing with sexual education) have been entirely taken over by ideologues preoccupied with teaching 12 year old children that all men are rapists, to simply demonize male sexuality or to teach 11 year old boys that they are at fault for the natural process of climate change. This has to stop. And, as a decent human being, you should involve, if you have the time and energy, in countering this damaging narrative that will screw the next generation.
17. Support compassionate non-profit organizations
I will not tell you that you must support A Voice for Men, since this article was written for the feminists out there who aspire to be decent human beings – albeit we definitely wouldn’t mind if you’d eventually end up doing so. But, as a decent human being, if you have some extra cash, you could support some Domestic Violence shelters that welcome both men and women or those that welcome only men. The ones that are women-only are already funded through the money that the State takes from you through taxation and most of them are run in a poor manner anyway. You will find out that whilst men comprise half of the victims of Domestic Violence, most nations have few or no shelters for these men. In fact, many male victims of DV are arrested themselves and considered a priori to be the abuser until proven otherwise – and once proven otherwise, they are released into the streets with nothing and subjected to increased risk of falling into another severe male problem – homelessness. That’s right, among the homeless, men are the great majority. So as a decent human being, you could also support homeless shelters and the compassionate organizations that give free meals to homeless people. They need those money more than the billion dollar industry of your ideology.
18. Don’t just talk the talk. Walk your talk.
Being a decent human being isn’t a 9-5 job. You can’t choose when and when not to be a decent human being. If you’re brave enough to do this, you must do it all the way. Be a decent human being in your daily life. Calling yourself a decent human being is not a label, but a lifestyle. Immerse yourself and do the best you can down to your very core.
19. Stop telling everyone you’re “different than other feminists.” Don’t speak. Do.
Actions speak louder than words. Actually be different.
20. Challenge other feminists to do the same.
This information is useless if you keep it to yourself. Influence the feminists in your life in a positive way. It is your responsibility as a member of the ideology of feminism to get other feminists to see their privilege and care about fighting for what’s right. If all of us would work even a little to be more of a decent human being, this culture would heal itself faster than one could imagine.
21. Reflect on how you were raised.
We know that some of you have been socialized to hate men or your parents’ extreme feminism tore apart your family and encouraged you to engage in risky behavior under the guise of empowerment. If you are in this situation, use your decent-human-being consciousness, examine your upbringing and release yourself from the heavy baggage of nonsense instilled by your feminist parents or teachers.
22. Strengthen your relationships with other men.
Male friendship is highly important for everyone and particularly for men. Men and women are different – no matter how much your teacher tried to tell you otherwise. If you are a young man, strengthen your relationship with older men and with your father. They will be able to help you and understand your issues far better than your female feminist professor – and this works in many cases for women as well. In fact, for teenage girls, having a male role model is vital for their upbringing and for them to avoid engaging in risky behavior.
23. Take parental leave
Whilst the notion of having a stay-at-home parent can seem outdated to you, it is a matter of fact that a balanced intact family produces far better outcomes than any other combination. The decision regarding who is going to take parental leave should be an economic one but it’s highly important for your child’s future, particularly in the first years of life, to have a biological stay-at-home parent (and not a nanny!) and the other parent to be around as much as possible. I know it can be hard in many instances but being a single parent by choice will harm your child more than you realize now!
24. Put yourself in situations for self-growth through activism.
The moment you become a decent human being, you will notice that most of your feminist friends will hate your guts and you will have to come to terms with the fact that feminism is not against the system – it is the system. So if you have an opportunity to engage in activism for decent human beings, don’t miss it.
25. Never seek recognition or affirmation.
Being a decent human being should more or less be the state of normality, but unfortunately it isn’t anymore. While some people are made fun of for caring about men’s rights and women’s rights and acknowledge that feminism is hate, it has unfortunately become somewhat alluring to become an ideological bigot and not actual care for what’s right. There aren’t many who resist the allure, therefore it may seem tempting to let this temptation get in your head. Also, it may seem tempting to seek validation and verbal recognition from men and other people you know for caring about these issues and being different. Well, why should you receive special recognition when other people don’t? Stand on your merit and earn a place at the table. I suggest you follow Karen Straughan (GirlWritesWhat) to get this point better. The less you seek recognition and affirmation – the more it comes. If you actively seek it, you’ll come across as rude, fake, and completely disrespectful. Do the work and let the results speak for you.
26. Recognize that you contribute to suppression of common sense by NOT acting.
The only way evil can prevail is for good people to do nothing. Every single day is an opportunity to prove your commitment to be a decent human being. Historically, people have done little to truly support what’s right. Therefore, if you choose to ignore these issues, you are directly contributing to the perpetuation of a culture that infantilizes women, subordinates men and ultimately subordinates society to the whims of the State. So take action.
27. Claim the “decent human being” label.
I am not going to tell you to claim the MRA label. That’s a decision that many de facto MRAs haven’t done and I don’t blame them. But if you really want to claim a label, claim the “decent human being” label. A decent human being doesn’t hate men or ignore their pain, and doesn’t think women are children or that women are oppressed in Europe and North America.
28. Blogs. Online Communities. Find spaces to dialogue with other like-minded people.
Seek out online and offline resources and communities to dialogue and be surrounded by other like-minded people. Being around other decent human beings is a very empowering experience; it replenishes your energy level, confidence, and your level of comfort in doing this work. It makes you feel not-so-alone. While dialoguing with bigots can sometimes have rewarding results, it’s highly important that you share your thoughts and experiences with other decent human beings.
29. Attend a women’s rights protest.
There is nothing else like it! You’re going to love it – particularly if you use facts, logic and common sense with attendees there. This usually brings two results – a group of people that will lash out in temper tantrums and cry “oppression” (those are the kinds of people with whom it isn’t really worth talking) and another group of people that are, in fact, decent human beings who thought that feminism is what the dictionary says, and not what feminism actually does.
30. Strengthen the relationships with the women in your life.
Most women, just like most men, are decent human beings with flaws and strengths, just like everyone else. However, since women were subjected to almost half a century of propaganda that they’re princesses and that society owes them everything by virtue of their sex and claiming that’s “oppression” – you will have to work a little harder to explain to them that this is not how the real life works. Older women might prove to be a great ally in this endeavor. Since most women are decent human beings, strengthening your relationships with them will be very successful in talking some sense into them.
31. Work with your partner or spouse on how to share responsibilities.
Whilst the idea of egalitarian relationships might sound noble, once you come back with your feet on the ground, you will soon find out that individuals are different, not equal. Consequently, you might find out that your husband or wife is quite content with an unequal settling. Don’t look at things through ideological lenses – look at them through practical lenses. If a particular unequal arrangement suits both you and your partner, then leave it that way. Relationships are rarely fully consistent with the so-called “gender roles” or fully consistent with the egalitarian model. They’re usually somewhere in between. And that’s because individuals are different in capacities and desires, not equal. And it’s the difference that makes our lives more fulfilling!
32. Judge everything for yourself!
You were probably told that you shouldn’t judge certain people or certain behaviors. In fact, any decent human being with brain capacity judges everything. Those that claim they don’t are either neurologically incapable or hypocrites, the latter being the most common. Judge everything for yourself! That’s why nature gave you brain – to use it! The key is, however, to avoid imposing it on others. You may disagree with certain behaviors (I sure do) but as long as they don’t hurt anyone else, leave it like that!
33. Watch Jagten (The Hunt) and Guilty Until Proven Innocent
The first is a Danish movie about a divorced man falsely accused of pedophilia and the second one is about a man who was sentenced to prison for a murder he did not commit. These will give you some perspective about how men that are accused of wrongdoing to females are being perceived by everyone and basically convicted and regarded as being guilty until proven innocent and sometimes even after. We call this misandry. Others call it the result of male vilification. You can call it whatever you like, but this is still a constant erosion of due process for men and it’s happening all over the “free” world.
34. Make time out of your day to call your parents and catch up with them
If your parents are still alive and are not guilty of horrible abuses (like raising you to believe that all men are rapists), you should try to talk to them as often as possible. They brought you into this world and are responsible, in part, for what you are today as a person. If you were more close to one parent than the other one – call the one to which you were least close the first. Trust me, it’ll do a lot of good.
35. Learn about your own familial roots and culture.
If you don’t know where you came from, it’s going to be difficult to see where you’re going. Explore! Culture and diversity is beautiful, and being able to appreciate and respect culture will make you a better person. However, don’t transform this into a tool of advancing further identity politics claptrap and victim mentality. It’s harmful both to you and for the people around you. You are not a victim! You are a decent human being!
36. Treat women as you would treat men.
The leaders of your ideology constantly forget to tell you that being equal to men means that you are no longer an angel, but a human being, just like everyone else. That includes being accountable for your actions to the same extent as men, have obligations to others to the same extent, being able to face criticism and politically incorrect speech, no more special treatment (i.e. affirmative action) and, more importantly, having the responsibility to use your own agency.
37. Stop being so entitled.
This is more or less a continuation of the 14th point. You need to come to terms with the fact that in order to exist, you need to breath drink and eat. That is it – shelter is optional. Consequently, you have the right to work towards achieving these necessities, but you are not entitled to have them handed to you. Be grateful when someone shares theirs with you and be doubly grateful if it’s out of pure kindness. You need to understand that you are owed nothing until you’ve worked towards it; assess your abilities, hone your skills, and earn your upkeep.
38. Be trustworthy
A decent human being is someone that people can trust with their secrets, provided that those secrets do no harm. So if during a school event, for instance, a boy comes to you and tells you how he was raped by his teacher (which happens much more often than the leaders of your ideology care to admit), don’t go to the nearest tabloid. Seek for evidence, and stand up for him whilst protecting his confidentiality. In other words, be a decent person.
39. Be willing to listen and know when to refer people to other resources.
As stated on the 3rd point, you don’t know everything about everything. So if you get a cry for help from someone in another area about which you had no idea about, be willing to refer that person to another decent human being you know that is located closer to that individual. Some issues may be way over your head and you can do more harm than good if you are trying to intervene in an area you have no idea about.
40. Use your privilege to promote the decent human being approach
If you are a decent human being working in a University that has a Gender Studies program, openly challenge their assertions. Which one of them? Well, you can start with “men’s violence against women” (it’s “people’s violence against each other”), “men rape, women are raped” (men are far more often victims of female sexual assault than your ideology recognizes), “men can’t be discriminated against” or “women never lie about rape” and then go from there. No decent human being should tolerate such a degree of hateful indoctrination in a University.
41. Never give up.
As you become more and more immersed in the numerous ways feminism hurts society and you become more of a decent human being, there may be times where you feel like giving up or taking a break. Trust me, the work you are or will be doing is making a difference. This work may not yield immediate results or instant gratification, but I promise you that it leads to a better life. Go forth.
42. Always seek evidence
If you think something doesn’t add up, don’t believe just because someone you trust told you so. Just as you can be wrong, other decent human beings can also be wrong. Therefore, always seek for evidence instead of emotional claptrap. The leaders of your ideology are willing to lie through their teeth just to further their own agenda. You can start with the “1 in 4” lie. If 1 in 4 women will be raped during their lifetime, it means that if you talk to 100 random women over the age 40, you will have to find at least 20 cases. Moreover, if “1 in 4” nonsense is true, then definitely a significant proportion of the your and your friends’ older female acquaintances have been victimized. Is that true? Can that really be true in Europe and North America? Always use common sense, facts and logic. The leaders of your ideology scream a lot, but this doesn’t mean they are correct.
43. Read the work of Christina Hoff Sommers
As a feminist aspiring to be a decent human being, one of the ways to understand how the real world works is to read the work of Christina Hoff Sommers, herself a feminist, but a feminist who actually tried to be a decent human being and followed the advice from the 42nd point and used common sense, facts and logic when examining the claims made by the leaders of your ideology in Gender Studies classes. She started by noticing that men are a drastically decreasing demographic in almost all campuses in the developed world and went from there. You’ll like her. She is a good role model for a feminist trying to be a decent human being.
44. Stop trying to look sophisticated or appeal to sophistication
You are not smarter if you use buzzwords like “patriarchy” to explain anything at any given moment, or if you use “intersectionality” as a code word for the good old Bolshevik class struggle. “Intersectionality,” as you call it, is what brought principles like healthy origin and enslaved millions of people in the name of absolute equality. Learn the roots of your ideology and the results those roots brought to places like Eastern Europe, Vietnam, Maoist China or North Korea. Any decent human being, once learning these roots, should quickly understand that this is not a way forward by any means.
45. Advocate for less totalitarian policies, rules, or procedures in your school or workplace.
Things like the Dear Colleague Letter, The Istanbul Convention, or policies requiring individuals to spy and report other people to the Authorities are things that no decent human being should accept. Due process, free speech and equitable accountability are a given to any decent human being – but they need to be protected because the leaders of your ideology are trying, and in some cases are succeeding, in stamping them out, but only for half of the population.
46. Challenge entitlement.
Expanding on the 37th point, contrary to what the leaders of your ideology tell you, men don’t owe anyone anything. They don’t owe women money, respect, time, acknowledgment, putting up with tantrums, protection, sex, children, or a house. Nothing. So next time when you hear an adherent to your ideology urging men to “man up” and do the dirty jobs whilst feminists bash them, challenge that adherent.
47. Familiarize yourself with this book. You’ll thank me later.
Ernest Belfort Bax – The fraud of feminism. It’s your ideology explained and taken to its logical conclusions in a very politically correct manner. You will find out that most of what other decent human beings are saying about your ideology is not something new and that your ideology has rarely (if ever) been a force of good and equity. You do not have to accept every argument he makes (very few today would agree that only men should vote) but in writing over 100 years ago he makes very good points that are still valid today.
48. Embrace the haters. You can learn a lot from them.
As a feminist aspiring to be a decent human being you’ll find out that suddenly you have a lot of haters. Watching how people that you considered friends or “sisters” suddenly talk bat shit crazy stuff at you for simply pointing out their failing logic is interesting. It gives you a lot of perspective about trustworthiness. Some of them might be willing to listen and concede some points but, most of them, despite their claims to the contrary, are not interested in debate and being decent human beings – they’re only interested to lecture others and shout “you fucking scum” if you dare to disagree with them. Pick you battles carefully though as you might end up wasting your time. Since individuals are not equal, the same goes with your haters.
49. Travel a lot
A decent human being tries to expand his or her perspectives. A good, efficient and fun way to do that is by traveling – preferably to as many countries as possible, preferably countries that are extremely different from yours. This will give you a perspective that will surely change your views of what you thought to be the world. And it will also make you understand better that some issues are, in fact, first world problems that don’t really matter elsewhere.
50. Learn several foreign languages
The leaders of your ideology try hard to tell you that the West is oppressive to women. By learning several foreign languages you can get to read information by yourself. For instance, in Spain, feminists have installed what is now openly called Gender Stalinism. Very few people knew about it until a feminist that aspired to be a decent human being reached out to other decent human beings and exposed what’s happening there. You didn’t hear that in the news, didn’t you? How could you if you speak only English?
51. Ask as many questions as possible
The leaders of your ideology will require you to ask as few questions as possible and if you insist on asking too many questions, they’ll call you “mansplaining” or “derailing” or “gaslighting” or “a traitor to your gender” – depending on your sex. But any decent human being should always ask questions and demand evidence. The more questions you ask, the more you’ll notice how very few decent human beings are in the feminist movement. Don’t be that feminist!
52. Start a blog!
There is a huge need for more decent human beings to start speaking up for what’s right. I love hearing different perspectives and connecting to other decent human beings. If your blog is in a language that I speak or understand thoroughly (Romanian, English, French, Swedish, Norwegian, Russian or Danish) don’t hesitate to write me. If not, write to another decent human being you know and go from there.
53. Seek out role models and pick their brains.
Whether it be a favorite author/blogger or activist, do your best to get into contact with that person and ask them questions. Take their advice and look for opportunities to collaborate. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel. Learn! You could start with Christina Hoff Sommers, as I mentioned earlier, or with Karen Straughan, Typhon Blue, Paul Elam, Warren Farrell, Dr. Paul Nathanson, Dr. Katherine Young, Erin Pizzey (the founder of the first Domestic Violence refuges in the United Kingdom) and so many other decent human beings which could offer you valuable insight when it comes to being a decent human being.
54. Respect other’s spaces for dialogue
The leaders of your ideology will demand you respect women’s spaces for dialogue. That’s sensible, if that space is a private one, but the same leaders always go ballistic if one attempts to create a men’s space for dialogue. As a decent human being, you should respect everyone’s spaces for dialogue. Men are people, just like women. And sometimes they need to gather in a male-only space. Learn to respect that. And if you know someone that disagrees that men should have a space for dialogue, then you should know that that person is not a decent human being.
55. Work to improve yourself physically
The leaders of your ideology will tell you that you are beautiful the way you are and whoever disagrees is a sexist pig. But the real world doesn’t work that way. There are a few little things called evolution, biology and the unalienable right to personal preference. No matter how many “acceptance” movements you’ll start, the onus is on you, not on everyone else. When it comes to sexual relationships, people will have standards, just like you have your own. And the physique will play a role, no matter how much rhetoric you spew that it shouldn’t. And it’s you who needs to deal with this like an adult and a decent human being.
56. Don’t be a criminal
I know this might seem weird, but many leaders of your ideology will advise you to mess with other people’s property (like turning around magazines in stores) or harass people on their own property (like making noise in a store that sells Hustler). This is criminal behavior. Don’t be that feminist! Also, some adherents to your ideology engage in harassment, intimidation and vandalism (see the incident with box cutters in Vancouver, Canada). This is also criminal behavior. If you have to resort to criminal behavior and censorship to prove your point, then you are not a decent human being. Don’t be that feminist!
57. Be careful not to burn out.
Being a decent human being is, in many instances, an individualistic thing, even when you engage with other people. But if you engage with other people and/or in activism for decent human beings, at times, you are going to feel a decrease in motivation, stressed, and tired from this work. There may come a time where you come close to, or actually experience, complete burnout. And it’s normal to feel that way once you pick up a newspaper and see that another married teacher walks Scot free after banging 12 year old boys and the media calls this “an affair” instead of rape because the victim happens to have a penis. But, think about it this way – 10 years ago this subject was a complete taboo. 15 years ago the leaders of your ideology were laughing in the decent human beings’ faces and were saying that women are incapable of raping. Think of all those achievements, take a deep breath and you’ll be able to come back faster than you thought.
58. Treat people as individuals
The leaders of your ideology will tell you that it’s your duty to listen to other people tell you and judge your response according to the group to which they belong a group established by some randomly chosen criterion. As a decent human being, you treat people as individuals. If you are a man, the leaders of your ideology will tell you that you should listen and accept without any question what a feminist woman tells you about women because she knows better by virtue of her sex. If you are a woman, the leaders of your ideology will tell you that you should listen and accept without any question what an indoctrinated gay person tells you because that person knows better by virtue of his or her sexual behavior. This is nonsense! That’s why nature gave you a brain – to use it. People can be wrong all the time and arguments stay on their merit, not on the person’s sex or sexual orientation.
59. Drop the doublethink
Expanding on the 58th point, the leaders of your ideology will tell you that it’s not your job to question a gay person unless you’re gay but, in the same time, you should treat everyone equally regardless of sexual orientation, sex, race or whatever. But how can you treat everyone equally if you can challenge a straight man who is wrong but you can’t challenge a gay woman who is wrong? Any decent human being knows that doublethink is a totalitarian practice. Drop it. You don’t need it.
60. Stop playing the blame game.
Most of your problems are your problems. And it’s up to you stand up for yourself. Slowly, even adherents to your ideology admit that your ideology is basically encouraging a toxic perpetual victim mentality. It’s not the fault of the “patriarchy” that you don’t make as much as Bill Gates does, nor is the fault of the “rape culture” that you feel harassed when someone makes a joke in a conversation you weren’t even part of (see Adria Richards and the “donglegate” scandal). Grow up!
61. Drop the “protected groups” mentality
The leaders of your ideology will tell you to treat everyone equally regardless of the group they belong to but, at the same time, will tell you to advance only the cause of women, gay people (usually only gay women), transgenders, racial minorities and other groups deemed to be “protected groups” by the powers that be – basically everyone except your average white man. Like I said in the 58th point, treat people as individuals. Yes, there are bad white men. We know it, the leaders of your ideology know it, everyone knows it. What the leaders of your ideology don’t want you to know is that there are also a lot of bad women and a lot of bad gay people and they are bad because they are not decent human beings, not because of “patriarchy” or because they have been oppressed somehow. Nobody oppressed Christine Gail Magnum or Jodi Arias – but the leaders of your ideology still defend them in complete defiance of the factual reality. Don’t be that feminist! Be a decent human being and acknowledge the reality.
62. Stop going against nature
Some leaders of your ideology will tell you that with enough social engineering and propaganda, human nature can be changed and gender utopia will be achieved. They are lying to you. Humans still have the appendix even though it’s basically useless and we have been cooking food or several millennia (at least). Do you think a hundred years (which is the maximum amount of time your ideology will hold in the most optimistic view) of social engineering will in fact change human nature and the dynamics between the sexes in an irreversible manner? There will probably never be more women on oil rigs or more men in childcare or kindergartens no matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise. It’s called human nature and because of that, certain things will be more appealing to certain people than others. Sure, some women might enjoy working on oil rigs and some men might enjoy working in kindergartens but those are the exceptions. It’s not “patriarchy”, “heteronormativity” or “outdated” notions of masculinity or femininity that’s keeping women outside of the oil rigs – it’s personal preference.
63. Acknowledge that gender is not a social construct
Some leaders of your ideology will argue that gender should have no meaning because males and females aren’t just equal; they’re no different from one another. Other leaders of your ideology will argue that gender identity is rather fluid but still agree that it’s a social construct. The reality is that “gender” is an ideological construct, more precisely a feminist construct. Men and women are different and some sex roles evolved because of the differences – not in spite of them (see the 62nd point). The word “gender” is for grammar issues for languages like French, Norwegian or Russian. “Sex” actually specifies male and female.
64. Challenge the demonizing
Most of the leaders of your ideology engage daily in demonizing the male sex. Some of them go so far to say that men are poisoned with testosterone and that if we could somehow drain the testosterone out of men everyone would have a great time. The drop of testosterone levels in men is linked to Parkinson’s disease. That in itself should alert any decent human being whose best interest the feminists have in mind. But besides this aspect, your ideology claims to be inclusive to transgender people. Well, considering that female to male transgenders need a good chunk of testosterone as part of their transitioning, the logical conclusion is that they are poisoning themselves with the root of all evil and you have to accept them, however. Does this make any sense to you? Because for me surely it doesn’t. And I think it doesn’t make any sense for any decent human being.
65. Call out false accusers
The leaders of your ideology will tell you that women never lie about rape or that it happens so rarely that you should ignore it. The reality however is that women do lie about rape and it happens far more often than your leaders want you to think. The false accusers are not only hurting innocent people (mostly men) but are also hurting real victims of rape or other violent crimes. Any decent human being should call out all false accusers and demand they be punished in a harsher manner.
66. Don’t engage in censorship
Any decent human being believes in free speech. Engaging in censorship, like demanding a certain magazine be taken out of the market because it doesn’t fit your views not only means you are not a decent human being, but it also means you are acknowledging that your arguments are poor and can’t stand on their own merits in a free market of ideas. If your arguments are so good and convincing, then the opponent ideas will eventually go out.
67. Sexual objectification happens. Deal with it.
The leaders of your ideology will want you to know that women and girls are the only one subjected to sexual objectification and that sexual objectification is very harmful thing that harms women and only women. Well, the reality is that most sexual objectification harms nobody and it is a two-way street. Just go to Google Images and type “male sexual objectification” and you will find a tremendous number of commercials that do to men exactly the same thing that feminists whine it happens to women. But guess what? Nobody is hurt. In fact, this process is beneficial for the men and women involved in the process of making those commercials. A person posing for a “sexually objectifying” commercial sometimes earns for a picture more than your average white Russian man in a year. So no decent human being would actually consider that an issue. Moreover, the mating dynamics in humans (which stem from human nature) are more or less based on the process of sexual objectification. And it is again a two-way street. Don’t tell me you’ve never heard women talking about a man’s performance in bed or making assumptions about a man’s sexual capabilities. These things happen amongst sexually healthy adults. In fact, it seems that cognitive sexual objectification of women is something that almost all people do – including women. If you don’t like it, don’t practice it yourself – but stop claiming that it’s a misogynistic thing or that it is an issue at all. It isn’t.
68. Acknowledge that the Universe doesn’t revolve around your feelings
The leaders of your ideology will try to argue that men should get out from the elevator and avoid being alone with a woman if she “feels” threatened. The same goes with other issues in which the leaders of your ideology argue that the outcomes of situations should be first and foremost determined by the woman’s “feelings.” As a decent human being, you should know that your feelings don’t matter at all for at least 99.999% of the planet. As long as you don’t hurt anyone, what you feel is of little to no importance for the rest of the universe. As a decent human being, you must acknowledge that there is a reason why a public space is called a public space – because all the public has the right to be there. Therefore, the elevator is not your personal space and no one should be subjected to exclusion because you “feel” in a certain way. If you really feel threatened, use your agency and get out of there. It’s not every man’s job to babysit your feelings.
69. Add more elements to this list
If you applied the first 68 points, then you are very decent human being, and if you are feminist aspiring to be a decent human being you should be able to add more elements to this list. Please feel free to do so in the comment section or by e-mail. I would love to know what you think. Thanks!