The broken dialogue of Cathy Young

I’m not sure I like your tone, Young Lady. In fact, I am sick of it. Keep it up, and I’m gonna get the paddle.

Scary, right?

When you dismiss men’s rights in 734 words with a “tone” argument, you disprove your own thesis that those who support men’s human rights need to be nicer in order to get their message across. You know, like those Nice Guys that never get laid while the Mean Guys score all the action from the hot chicks. Awesome work bashing those uppity man-slaves, oh-so-sensitive Cathy, but your feminine prejudices have blinded you to the reality of those who struggle daily in support of men’s human rights.

So, to bring the rhetoric of both feminism and men’s human rights together in one elegant sentence: “Check your privilege, blue piller.”

You do remember writing Men and women, we’re all in this together. Let’s act like we know that, don’t you? But it is not that simple.

Gender issues have never been a dialogue – they are a monologue, and a Vagina Monologue at that. The penis enters the picture only through the cackles of harpies like those on The Talk, tittering at its mutilation and disposal.

Screaming “WHY WON’T YOU TAKE ME TO THE LAKE!” is fine for those poor women, I guess, but “STOP KILLING ME” is disgusting to you and others when men say it. A man begging for mercy only gets mercy if he claims “I have wife and kids who need me!” – men are only seen as valuable for their service to women, whereas women are seen as valuable because Vagina. When has a feminist ever said “you are valuable because you are a man. Don’t let anyone tell you any differently. Men built civilization, and so, men as a class have nothing to apologize for.”

I say that almost every day to the angry or depressed men who seek my counsel. What would you say to them? Shut the fuck up, you angry men?

Have you ever even considered that men’s human rights advocates are angry and vulgar because we have to be in order to be heard?

When it comes to listening to people in pain, we prioritize women’s pain over men’s pain – in fact, men’s expression of pain is viewed as cowardly and unmanly. There are sound evolutionary reasons to prioritize women’s pain, of course – dismissing the pain of a woman in labor is not a good plan for ensuring that your genetic offspring survive. That’s why men’s concerns, expressed politely, are so easily dismissed – like Amanda Marcotte dismisses men’s pain – because women demand men’s strength and hyperagency, and the expression of a man’s pain equals weakness.

But when it comes to listening to people in anger, we prioritize men’s anger over women’s. Men are BIG and STRONG and an angry man is DANGEROUS – more dangerous than an angry woman, anyway, in terms of the perception of immediate threat. In fact, we men are all branded as potential rapists and pedophiles – we only get attention because of the supposed threats we represent. We humans pay attention to potential threats and hence people cannot afford to ignore angry men in the same way they dismiss men in pain (weak, so who cares?) or women in anger (weaker than men, so who cares?).

Why, Cathy, are you demonizing men for using the only way we have left to make our voices matter?

You even acknowledge the validity of some of our concerns – the massive differential in workplace death rates (almost 92% male in 2011), suicide rates, and the ways men are raped for child support, etc. – but you find our rhetoric to be “toxic” and “vulgar” (like, um, the naked lesbian pedophilia in the original version of the Vagina Monologues, perhaps?) but even when you hear and supposedly understand men’s legitimate needs and concerns, you still don’t get it.

We listen to women’s expressions of pain and need because we’re programmed to, both by our genes and our socialization. We need only listen to men when men are “vulgar” and “angry” and hence, are a threat. So, inevitably, if I have to call someone a stupid, fucked-up bitch to get some attention – MEANINGFUL attention – then that is what I’ll do. And you can bite me, Cathy Young, if you can’t grasp that.

That’s my allotment of 734 words to counter yours. We’re equal. I feel better now; do you?

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