I personally think we developed language because of our deep need to complain.
– Lily Tomlin
This article is about some of the weapons shamelessly employed by women to control men – shaming tactics, whining, and sexist behaviour and comments.
Many women without mental health issues employ these weapons, but it’s become increasingly obvious that a disproportionate number of women who use them suffer from one or more mental health issues– and most, if not all, are gender feminists. These mental health problems include personality disorders – most notably narcissistic personality disorder – borderline personality disorder, anger management issues, depression, anxiety disorders, and others.
Many gender feminists are driven by poor experiences of men, often an individual man, most usually a father (often absent from the family, whether through his choice or not) or a partner. Damaged women are drawn to feminism like moths to a flame, and are inevitably damaged further. They really need to get treatment for their mental health problems, but they find it easier to spend their lives collaborating with other damaged women in attacking men and boys.
Laura Bates is the creator of The Everyday Sexism Project. At our political party Justice for Men & Boys we always refer to it as The Everyday Whining Project. The following should give you a flavour of the tsunami of whiny submissions the site receives:
The Royal Mint will be giving away silver pennies in blue and pink pouches to those with babies born on the same day as Kate and William’s. Wonder who will get pink and who will get blue?
Purchased a new Hoover at the weekend. Pleasant enough experience at Curry’s, until I get to the tills. Male cashier asks if I need a hand getting it to the car, which I politely declined. He then advised me it was ‘really quite heavy’ (to which I quipped ‘well it’ll be me lugging it round the house’) and insisted I let him know if I do ‘decide I need a hand’. I appreciate it’s good customer service to ask the first time, but would you persist like this if I were male? I wouldn’t mind, but he looked weaker than I do, even with his penis.
So what was the hapless cashier to do? Presumably some customers – women in particular – initially decline the offer of help getting items to a car, but then change their minds when they realise how heavy or bulky an item is. If the man hadn’t made the second offer, and the woman had changed her mind (a “woman’s prerogative,” of course) it would surely – given her line of reasoning – have been reasonable for him to refuse to help. In which case she would presumably have made a different complaint on Laura Bates’s website.
The site’s content is translated into 18 languages. Laura Bates is clearly a full-time whine collector. The amount of exposure she gets in the British mainstream media is beyond belief. By contrast our political party, Justice for men & boys has yet to have a single mention in a major newspaper or publication, although we’ve had some significant exposure on BBC radio.
I once had the grim experience of debating with Laura Bates on a popular BBC radio programme, The Jeremy Vine Show. If you wish to get a sense of just how whiny she is, this should do the trick:
One of her many TV appearances, whining on International Women’s Day:
I believe girls learn at a young age that whining gets them what they want, especially from over-indulgent parents who might later wonder why their daughters became Entitlement Princesses. Inevitably these girls continue whining into adolescence and adulthood because they continue to get what they want.
It’s up to men to break the cycle, and I’ll write an article about that subject one day. I make a few suggestions later in this article.
It’s been speculated that whining and shaming tactics developed at an early stage in human evolution, so that men worked harder to provide for women and children than they might otherwise have been inclined. Natural selection would have favoured men who were more sensitive to shaming and whining, because when they worked harder, society would have benefited, more children would survive…
The hard-wired propensity of women to whine, and the hard-wired propensity of men to do whatever it takes to stop them whining, have become deeply dysfunctional in the modern world. Many women have insatiable appetites for more goods and services, special treatment, and attention, and their partners are doomed to failure in even attempting to satisfy those appetites. The state, too, is doomed to failure in seeking to satisfy them.
We’re about to establish The Whine Club, a club exclusively for whiny women. Inspired by the Entitlement Princess of the Month award, we’ll be asking for suggestions for Whiny Woman of the Month. So many obvious candidates to choose from. Laura Bates will, of course, be the inaugural member of The Whine Club. Members will only be permitted to leave the club if they give a written undertaking to stop whining.
There are, of course, numerous different varieties of whine, including:
- Vintage whines – women are paid less than men when doing the same work, all men are rapists…
- Classic whines – men objectify women, men discriminate against women in the workplace…
- Corked whine – the regrettably short period of silence which follows a man deftly popping a cork into the mouth of a whining woman. Champagne corks are particularly effective
- Red whine – one coming from a woman who’s so cross, her face is red
- American whine – one coming from an American woman (likewise Italian whine, English whine…).
Then there’s “whine drinking” or “whine tasting,” terms used to describe the experiences of countless men who let women whine despite having alternative options e.g. walking away, or listening to their MP3 players with the volume cranked up to whatever level it takes to drown out the whining. Men living in houses with cellars can put a sign on the cellar door, “Whine Cellar,” and politely direct whining women towards it. In houses without a cellar, the smallest room in the house – or possibly the garden shed – could be designated the “Whine Box.”
Moving on from whining to sexism, we’ve just launched The Alternative Sexism Project and I cordially invite you to contribute your own stories.
We don’t want the site to have the whiny tone of the Everyday Sexism Project, we’re simply looking for comments from men (and women) about women (and men):
- shaming men and/or boys
- controlling men and/or boys
- disadvantaging men and/or boys
- advantaging women and/or girls
Obvious examples include the following, but there are countless others, both serious and low-level:
- Sexist narratives and statements in TV and radio programmes, in films, newspaper articles, websites and blogs…
- Sexist statements made by politicians, judges, civil servants…
- Lenient sentencing by the judicial system of women convicted of serious crimes e.g. making false rape accusations
- Denial of access to children following relationship breakdowns, judges’ unwillingness to enforce contact orders
- Parental alienation of children
- Financial ruin as a consequence of divorce, even when the wife has contributed little or nothing to the couple’s joint wealth
- Police not believing male victims of domestic violence, always taking the woman’s word for what happened
- Economic disadvantaging e.g. on first dates, even in expensive restaurants, women will either not offer to pay a share of the cost, or will make a cursory effort to look willing to do so, e.g. reaching for the purse when the bill arrives. When the man says, ‘Thanks, but I’ll take care of it’, no woman has ever been known to protest for long
- Lack of respect for men. On a crowded street even elderly men of a certain age are routinely expected to give way to women, including young women
- Women (and many men) preferencing women when recruiting and/or promoting staff
- Women being preferenced for social housing and social services
- When a woman has an unplanned pregnancy, she has the sole right to determine whether the foetus is aborted, the baby adopted, or the child raised at the man’s expense. The man has no rights and whatever responsibilities she chooses to give him
- Programmes aimed at diagnosing female-specific cancers are far better funded than those for male-specific cancers
- Teachers (female and male) focusing more time and effort on female pupils than male pupils
- Male pupils treated more harshly than female pupils after committing the same misdemeanours
- If her car breaks down, or a tyre is punctured, a woman can expect a man to stop and help her. Women never stop to help a man in the same situation
- Women shamelessly barging in front of men in queues, expecting service in bars when they’ve only just arrived, and you’ve been waiting five minutes
- Women-only gym and swimming sessions
- In Labour and Lib Dem constituencies, women-only prospective parliamentary candidate shortlists
Thank you for your support.
Editor’s note: feature image by Davef3138