The following is an articulate and thoughtful testimonial from of one of our readers in the comments section of an AVFM article An open letter To Rosie Batty. With her permission we are republishing it here. AVFM Editorial Staff.
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I recently listened to Rosie Batty’s address to the National Press Club on Domestic Violence against women and children, and I have to say that as a mother of two wonderful sons and married to an incredible man (of 25 years), I am saddened Rosie’s ideology is so misguided and one sided that domestic violence is gender based. This dangerous belief system only further highlights the need for proper education in our homes, schools, workplace and local communities that men are also at risk of domestic violence, at the hands of their female partners. Our men need a strong and powerful voice and advocate because too many of them are suffering in silence and are tarnished with the same brush, by those who abuse their partners.
I could not believe how Rosie’s passion was so invested in advocating for increased funding for ONLY women and children to receive “front line” help and support, both legally and economically. Yet there is very little to nothing out there for men who are abused, both mentally and physically by their female partners, not to mention the children who are abused, neglected and murdered by their biological mothers. In fact the general consensus for men is to suck it up, as it were or leave. Violation of their rights, particularly as fathers does not even come into the equation.
We all know there is zero tolerance for domestic violence, and rightly so. But I do believe a lot of women take advantage of this particularly those in dysfunctional relationships and who are looking for a way out, even at the expense of their children and partners. I know I might be striking a few raw cords but I have seen first hand at how innocent men are treated like criminals both by the police and courts systems, simply because these women shed a few crocodile tears and cried abuse.
My husband’s first wife was a classic. She threw their daughter in a pram, about 6 feet from where she stood because she was hanging out for a bong! My husband’s crime was he back handed her, a natural reaction for seeing their daughter being thrown, not to mention the wife even blew marijuana smoke in their daughter’s face so she would sleep! This woman abused their infant child in so many ways but my husband was forced to hand his daughter over to his wife, when the local CPS attended their home. She and the child were accommodated, received the best legal representation and supported with funding for her and their baby. My husband went through 10 years of fighting a loosing battle with the family law courts to see his daughter. It ended up being a wasted battle because the daughter was that polluted with her mother’s poison that she stopped seeing her father. This battle almost destroyed my husband, but it is worse today for a lot of innocent fathers and their children. There are a lot of lesbian support workers and workers who have experienced, in their own personal lives domestic violence. They hate men and their agenda is to only support the women and children, not reunite the family unit.
When I listen to Rosie Batty, I hear a broken and bitter woman who see all men as a potential threat and danger like her husband was to her and their son. I’d be interested to learn what Rosie put her husband through. It would be a hard task for her to see another way given the horrific way her son was taken from her. But if we are to make a positive change, we need to look at the WHOLE PICTURE and provide funding and support in those areas. Rosie’s dangerous, misguided and sexist comments need to change.
Domestic violence is not gender based. Men and women are equally at risk of being abused by their partners. Children are being neglected, abused and murdered mostly by their mothers. Children are abusing their parents. This is not a numbers game. It is what it is and it is a serious epidemic that warrant immediate action and intervention.
Rosie is also behind the creation of an app, of course for girls, “I matter”. An app that handles 3000 questions per week from women’s health, bullying and relationships. Why isn’t there an app for boys, who incidentally are at a higher risk of self harm and suicide? Don’t our boys matter, Rosie? So sad, but true, in this present society. In fact the only time we hear about men or boys on TV is in a derogatory way. Stereotyping him as the murderer, the idiot, awkward, stupid and the list goes on. And yes, the electronic program guide are written by women. I guess if our men didn’t feel such low self worth maybe the crime rate and particularly the suicide rate wouldn’t be so high. Food for thought!
Furthermore, I would not hold the view that Rosie Batty is sexist if she didn’t end her speech by mentioning Jeff Hunt, the man who murdered his wife Kim and their three children, Fletcher, Phoebe and Mia, in rural NSW. He then committed suicide. Why didn’t also she mention about the Cairns mother accused of murdering eight children and charged with eight counts of murder in January 2015, or the Wyndham Vale Lake crash where a mother was charged with the murder of her three young children or what about Donna Fitchett who drugged, smothered and strangled her 11 and 9 year old sons of which she called the murder of her sons her “greatest act of love’! And as I write this, it was reported that a Sydney court denied a 34 year old woman bail for stabbing her husband in the chest. He is in a critical condition, fighting for life. Interesting enough, a senior police official made a statement in relation to this incident and stated that they “would need to investigate why this woman armed herself”, (in other words protected herself, from her partner).
The Australian police force, particularly the female officers should remove their blinkers and stop protecting woman and start listening and acting on men’s complaints about their female partner’s abuse, as well. Recently on A Current Affair, a female stabbed her partner and caused some life threatening injuries but previous to this occurrence, this poor guy had reported her abuse to a female police member who advised him, “to man up”, as she is smaller than him. We don’t need police members like this. Maybe they should be working down on the farm!!!! Two years on, the murder of Jill Meagher is still mentioned numerous times on TV but very little mention was made about those 8 murdered children in Cairns and the 3 murdered children in Wyndham Vale.
There is no doubt that we live in a sick world that will only get sicker until we acknowledge there is a serious issue of violence in the home by BOTH SEXES. The media play a pivotal role in not addressing this cancerous issue that is festering in most homes today, but they need to stop blaming or worse isolating the problem and denying the whole picture.
Our men, women and most importantly our precious children, the future of our society need the unconditional support and guidance to overcome the issues that lead us down this path of destruction. There can be no progress until we stop the blame game.
If anyone is worthy of the title, Australian of the Year, it would have to be Mark Dent for having the fortitude and strength to speak the real truth on Domestic Violence. You have my support and utmost respect, Mark. Continue with your website because disillusioned people like Rosie Batty need to see it for what it really is.
Life is valuable for men as well. So all you female perpetrators need help and stop blaming our men!!!
Once again, keep up the work, Mark Dent as you see it how it is!!!
Jennifer
