I wanted to do an issue of MenZ once, dedicated entirely to the demonization of male sexuality. Only I couldn’t come up with enough quality content on the subject to fill a pamphlet, let alone magazine. And I have to admit, that surprised me a lot given the far reaching effects of this phenomenon. Maybe I’m making connections that don’t exist. Perhaps I’m the sane one, and the rest of the world is crazy. Or the fallacy of FalseCompromise is actually true, and the truth lies somewhere in the middle.
I’m a ‘big picture’ guy, and don’t deal well with minutia, so I refuse (generally) to research much by way of links. Take this as a “Here’s something to ponder,” if my presentation doesn’t mesh exactly with your experience (ie, don’t fuckin nitpick if you can help it).
It’s no secret that male sexuality does not enjoy a good reputation these days. In fact, the mere accusation of actually HAVING a sexuality is enough to force congressmen to resign – even toppling international figures, and the average man faces accusations of being ‘creepy’ or only caring about ‘one thing’ if the subject is ever broached. We have made an about-face from Victorian times – sort of. Men still face all the obligations they were saddled with in the 19th century, along with all the social restrictions women faced in the 19th century. Of course, the corrillary is that women enjoy the benefits of both former roles, and none of the obligations.
I should point out that this is one area in which I will use the general term ‘women,’ precisely because I mean women. This fits all of them closely enough to render exceptions truly…er…exceptional. Women have gleefully engaged in these practices, recognizing the social power it gives them, with or without regard to the males around them they supposedly care about.
Furthermore, I will pre-emptively state that any woman who declares themselves guilt-free in this instance to be an out and out liar. This is not a judgment of character (per se) so much as an indication of how pervasive and acceptable the denigration of male sexuality is.
Now, you may be asking just what I mean when I say “demonization of male sexuality.” Truthfully, the practice is so widespread it sort of defies easy definition. I would posit “Humiliation and ostracization due to natural biological desires, based solely on the sex of the person so regarded”…but that’s pretty wordy and not a very catchy idea. Let’s let that one stew for a bit.
How does this demonization manifest in our lives, as men? That’s perhaps the next place we should look for a definition. Maybe we can name the beast by describing its nature.
The obvious first place to look is male genital mutilation. Nothing says “I’m afraid of horny men” quite like lopping off most of their erogenous zones and turning them into face cream for rich old white chicks. There are few areas of social concern which so blatantly flaunt sexist double standards upheld by fear of male sexuality quite so clearly as in this instance.
Nearly all fine-touch receptors are removed (the foreskin itself), along with most or all of the frenulum (similar in function to the female clitoris), and the only remaining sensitive area is left to keratinize over time. This barbaric practice was pushed by Dr. Kellogg as a means of stifling the urge to masturbate, and specifically to curb the sexual desires of men. He was not the first, nor the last medical “professional” to recommend mutilation of babies in order to curb sexual desire.
This attitude carries through to today, with mothers convincing themselves it’s a simple “useless flap of skin,” as Barbara Kay put it in the National Post. Many women claim they like the looks of a ‘cut’ penis better, and incredibly enough, think that justifies the mutilation of their sons. It shows just how common this form of hatred for male sexuality is.
Male sexuality is also a huge part of Sexual Harassment Law. Without the innate distrust, or even hatred of men that are successful with women, and jealousy of women not chosen, Sexual Harassment as a concept would not exist.
This “crime” was constructed out of whole cloth, to punish those men daring enough to believe themselves worthy of asking a woman out. Never mind the boss chasing the Secretary around the desk stereotypes. Those women flirting with the boss typically were working there to find a husband. No, Sexual Harassment Law even flat out admits what it’s really about….
Sexual Harrassment is : Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature that tends to create a hostile or offensive work environment.
If she wants you to, well then it’s OK. And no, there’s no way to find out beforehand if you’re going to lose your job, or get a girlfriend. Why would you lose your job? Because you are inflicting your unwelcome male sexuality on a woman who doesn’t like you.
Rules only apply to the ugly or socially awkward.
In fact, this maxim applies in general society as well. Women routinely wield such epithets as “creep” and “loser,” for men guilty of being undesirable to that particular woman.
And don’t think for a minute that she is unaware of how much it hurts you. You simply deserve the pain for having the audacity to pursue her when she wanted the other guy. For wanting her, he is a nice catch. For wanting her and showing it in the same exact way, you are a physical threat and a legal liability.
As for rape? Well, men are such pigs that they should be denied the presumption of innocence. Because we all know they’re all rapists underneath (at least, according to Amanda Marcotte).
Think this doesn’t affect you? The disappearance of manufacturing jobs can be traced directly to policies to make the workplace more woman-friendly. Sexual harassment law has contributed greatly to the decline of the North American economy. And this law is nothing more than petty jealousy of those not selected by the “right” men, enforced by Law.
Even once in a relationship, male sexuality must be tightly controlled, apparently, lest we get a swelled head. Men must EARN the right to have sex. To think otherwise would be to place male and female sexuality on the same plane. And everyone knows men are icky.
This pay to play mentality is also the main impetus behind the injustice in Family Court. If a child results from sex, even if the man didn’t want a child and was denied the right to choose, he must still pay to play. Essentially, the family court system has decided that all women are whores, and when they get pregnant, a man must be made to pay. Sure they couch this in ‘best interests of the children’, but that phrase is no more true in this instance than it was when the NAZIs used it.
Really, they just figure the man owes her for the sex. A lot.
And we all know, via Lorena Bobbitt, what women REALLY think of male sexuality. Who could have watched all the women gleefully joking about the mutilation of a man in his sleep, that still thinks women have compassion for men, let alone any kind of regard resembling “love?”
As for the Legal issues men face regarding sex, like Reproductive rights, women take the traditional pay to play (or “women are all whores, really”) approach on a massive scale. Men being able to walk away with no consequences for sex? Horrendous! Never mind the consequences were 100% her choice…he must be pilloried, else other cads take liberties with the women.
And fathers wanting better Parental rights? They’re just mad they can’t rape the mother anymore.
Hatred of male sexuality runs throughout Feminism, and progressive ideologies like the Mekong River during rainy season. This is hardly a subject that needs further exploration, save to say Feminism is currently the fount from which all the hatred emerges.
Men are afraid to help small children for fear of being called a pedophile now, thanks to feminist “awareness” on the issue that paints all pedophiles as men (when women are in fact the majority). Fear and distrust of male sexuality made this an easy sell. Men are forced out of all sorts of career paths, face diminished opportunity in many others, and face an increasingly bleak outlook, because it’s “common knowledge” men are perverts and abusers. Just look at all the non-profit group’s posters on the wall saying so.
But the biggest haters, the ones with the most visceral contempt for men who admit they like to fuck, are the White Knights. Hatred of male sexuality is the core of the White Knight mentality, usually because they view themselves above those base men that women seem to like so much. This is why White Knights and Feminists have such a cozy relationship.
They both aim to reduce the sexual competition by demonizing male sexuality.
One method employed, usually by the “sensitive new age guy” (SNAG) types, is through “concern.” They are “concerned” for the safety of women and children, especially those in relationships with “unenlightened” men, afraid they might be abused….and usually sexually.
Another method is the “cad haters,” that justify their jealousy of sexually successful men by essentially calling them rapists. Utilizing the “rape culture” meme installed by feminists, these White Knights paint any man with a potential hard-on as a rapist, hoping to scare the women of his desire into his “safe, moral arms.”
Pardon the repeated use of scare quotes. The level of bullshit in the language of all these actors demands it.
Anyhow, white knights use chivalry as their guide, and let their sense of moral superiority justify their hatred, and continued abuse, of their fellow man, for the good of society. For them it’s not so much that an umarried man isn’t producing for a woman (although that offends as well), it’s that too many unmarried (and thus sexually aggressive) men result in a much higher probability his S/O will stray. Or, it will be that much harder to attract one in the first place.
Male sexuality is blamed for every social malady, in some way or form. That is one of the many things MRAs are fighting to correct. Building public distrust and fear, even disgust, at male sexuality, has both been a key strategy, and enabling device for further attack, since perceptions can only worsen with each myth.
This is the fulcrum issue, this is the means by which you, and I, and every other man is controlled, by social pressure in our day to day interactions. The key to our struggles lies in this area somewhere, I’m convinced of it. We may not be able to define it, but we can fight it. Furthermore, I’m of the mind that all men, whether they can agree with MRA goals or not, would benefit society and themselves greatly of they do but one simple thing.
Refuse to apologize for being male, and liking sex.
The featured image depicts American actor Dick Van Dyke in his prime. –Ed