Feminists prefer sugar daddies to pantsuits

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Imagine, as a brief thought experiment, you’re a young feminist woman entering a lonely diner miles away from anything. You haven’t eaten in a bit, and your resources are exhausted. You face an uncertain future; you are disquieted about these feelings. The diner is deserted except for a well-kempt older lady in a pantsuit and a kindly but more casual looking older gentleman. You realize you can only ask one person for help with a meal, for surely the other person will feel slighted for not being asked first. Whom do you ask to buy you a meal?

In Iowa this week, women 29 and younger voted for Clinton’s challenger, Sen. Bernie Sanders, by a stunning margin of roughly 6 to 1, much as young men did, according to the poll of voters arriving at precinct caucuses conducted for the television networks and the Associated Press. – LA Times.

This “lonely diner” is the scenario that played out in the Iowa Democratic Presidential Caucuses held on February 1st, 2016, and by a margin of 6 to 1, younger feminist Democratic women sided with the older gentleman – Senator Bernie Sanders – than with feminist icon and thundercunt Hillary Rodham Clinton. Although in the overall vote Hillary came out slightly ahead in a near 50-50 split, what should have been Hillary’s core constituents – young feminist women – broke severely in favor of patriarchal provider Santa Claus Bernie.

Political journalists and analysts are tying themselves into knots trying to grasp how such an affront to feminism is possible. Bernie is a nice old guy, but he didn’t exactly put the cock into Caucus. Some claim that these young, feminist women are sexist against women, or not real feminists, or are rebelling against Hillary’s perceived authority or…the list goes on. Hell, maybe these young women see men in their seventies like gay men – more trustworthy for friendship than other women.

Let’s be clear here on the idea of feminist leadership, and if such a thing even exists. In a Washington Post / Kaiser poll conducted last year, people were asked to name a feminist leader. 20% of people came up with the name Hillary Clinton, and no one else got even 3% of the vote. Since leadership implies that people know you are a leader, this means that there is only one person who comes close to being a leader of Feminism – Hillary – and all other wannabe feminist leaders are nonentities to 97% of Americans.

Hillary is a leader both elected and appointed, and she says she’s a feminist, but she is not a “feminist leader” in any formal, titular way. Even so, it is a fair question to ask if even a purported feminist leader that 80% of people don’t recognize as a feminist leader is any sort of leader at all. At 20% in a field of near zeroes, Hillary is the very best that feminism can offer, leadership-wise.

In our hypothetical diner, the young feminist pinched her cheeks, popped open a button on her blouse, and decided she could more likely manipulate the older man into buying her a meal than she could the pantsuit lady. In the Caucuses, 6 of 7 young women did the same – they conjured that a man as President could be manipulated by women after the election much more productively than a pantsuit lady pandering for their votes. By offering to have the government give them a free college education, Bernie signaled his willingness to play the sugar daddy for all these famished girls. Despite appearances to the contrary, feminist outrage doesn’t fill the stomach in the way that feminists have grown accustomed to.

Voting is the one-night hookup of politics, the one chance for glory that is gone the next morning once your partner is out the door. These women voters made the cynical calculation that Bernie would be back for more sugar and that Hillary would lose interest in their concerns during the walk of shame post-election. Or, post-erection. Whatever.

This is why no woman will ever be elected President of the United States – women are the majority of voters, and once the election ends they know they can manipulate a pandering man more than they can an empowered woman. The snub of Hillary proves that a woman candidate who plays the power game like a man will alienate 84% of even women voters who are ideologically in tune with her. If you want to see a woman President, vote for a woman for Vice President and hope that the President falls from office.

It is all your fault, ladies. Get over it, and enjoy your dessert.

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