Feminism: Mission Accomplished!

I’d kept hearing that there were things like women being paid 77 cents for every dollar a man makes, or how rape culture permeates our social consciousness, or how domestic violence against women was so common that we shouldn’t even consider looking out for children.

And then I read this post:

The word “Flattering” is the #1 enemy of feminism today.

Oh, such a relief. We’ve won! We’ve WON! Every injustice and problem in the world facing women today has been solved except for trivial crap like manspreading, microaggressions, and mere words like “bossy” and “flattering” to the point that “flattering”, of all things, is now the single greatest threat to women the world over!

Can you see the tears welling up in my eyes? Tears of joy? We’ve done it! We can literally disband feminism entirely at this point! We can finally go home. Or, well, I mean to the kitchen to eat ice cream instead of making sammiches, since we’re at home blogging about stuff anyway instead of working. You know what I mean.

Seriously though, it’s really uplifting to hear that the term “flattering” is the #1 enemy of feminism today. I didn’t want to believe it at first, so I did some digging around, and sure enough, the wage gap has been debunked hundreds of times, and even in the original study which was cited as the source of such, it said flat out that women’s choices were easily able to explain it away. Ha ha, so silly, such impetuousness in our youth like five minutes ago believing that. Heck, Warren Farrel, only man ever elected three times to the Board of the National Organization for Women in NYC, went through the whole thing quite amazingly in his book “Why Men Earn More,” so really, who better to speak about this? Now we can embrace women’s agency and life choices, how we’re smart enough to know money is probably the least important aspect of choosing a job and how foolish those men are for ignoring everything from health benefits to commutes to risk of physical harm, or psychological harm due to isolation and such. Seriously, we’re free of the wage gap, and that fills my heart with joy.

Even more than that, I checked up the latest statistics: I can WALK OUTSIDE AT NIGHT! SWEET! According to the Bureau of Justice Statistics in the USA, white women have less than 5% of the chance of being mugged than black men do! We’ve triumphed yet again!

Even rape culture has been torn down. The most recent FBI study in Texas found that by including men in rape statistics, not even men who were forced to penetrate, but just men by the same standard as women, they now comprise about 62% of all rapes in the state. If we included guys who were forced to penetrate a woman, or who had sex while intoxicated or who were pressured into such, men would comprise over 80% of all rapes! And this is TEXAS! Possibly the single most uber-conservative state there is! If women are the least likely to get raped there of all places, then we’ve freaking nailed it! We’ve yet again achieved a safer world for women!

Oh man, I am getting stoked! I mean, oh woman. Something like that. Anyway!

Domestic violence against women is about half that as domestic violence against men if you ignore those horrible people who hit each other, isn’t that great? Women are HALF as likely to be the victims of domestic violence! Chalk up yet another one for feminism! We’re on a freaking roll today!

Yep, after doing the research, it looks like you’re right. It turns out the word “flattering” really is the #1 enemy of feminism today. I bet if we just blog about it for awhile and demand they remove it from the dictionary it’ll probably go away, so fortunately that’s not much effort.

I’ll just get my manslave to write it up for me while I gorge myself on ice cream. Catch you girls later for the victory party!

Oh, and P.S.: And I’ll tell you, I am SO glad we got rid of that awful fat shaming already. I’mma wallow like a pig in this chocolate ice cream. Yum! A well deserved and just dessert!

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