What if you could take a soup like minestrone and convert it into a casserole that could satisfy cravings for spaghetti and pizza in the process?
It is a challenge, to be sure, but not nearly as hard as finding a feminist that is competent and confident in the kitchen. As a part of the MGTOW life, men colonizing kitchens and pwning feminist kitchen ninnies is just one way to savor a life free from female demands.
Feminist Jessica Valenti started a food blog in January 2015 – well, sort of. It is a food newsletter entitled “Eat me”; the title is certainly an indication of the nurturing nature of superior women like her. The newsletter site formerly featured an archive of her weekly musings that was like watching a zombie chew babies – raw man-hating id meets her defenseless kid. Her discomfort around food and its preparation was palpable and more proof that feminist women have little business in kitchens – the sharp edges and burning temperatures are too much for their delicate sensibilities.
Alas, the archive into her mental degeneration has disappeared mysteriously but in its memory I’ve named this tasty one-pan meal after her abortive efforts. As MGTOW we may be done with marriage and women but this doesn’t mean we should forget the reasons we’re on this road.
Now, a cassoulet is a slow-cooked French stew that uses meat and white beans. The alternate spelling, cassolette, is also recognized by the Urban Dictionary as the sexual fragrance of a woman’s vagina.
This cassolette, like Valenti, is more Italian than French but unlike Valenti the fragrance is surprisingly divine.
The problem with most casserole-related dishes is, like feminism, they result in a big mess that men have to come in and clean up later. See, for example, the recipes for Italian Chicken casseroles here, here, and here: each uses multiple cooking vessels, leaving you with a pile of pans to wash – all those recipes will leave you with a dirty skillet, colander and saucepan. None of that is needed for this dish, which also substitutes a variety of vegetables for the starchy pasta.
Chicken Valenti Cassolette
(serves 2 very generously)
1 8”x8” or 9”x9” baking dish (I used a glass one).
1 microwave-safe glass or ceramic serving plate
1 cheese grater
1 meat cleaver (or heavy knife)
1 metal spatula
1 cutting board
1 frozen chicken breast (straight from the freezer).
1 tablespoon peanut oil
1 jalapeño pepper
3 button mushrooms
1 large or 2 small cloves garlic
1/2 small carrot
1 yellow (summer) squash
1/3 head of cauliflower
1 dozen fresh green beans
1 cup of your favorite tomato-based pasta sauce [I used Prego® Italian Sausage and Garlic]
Fresh ground black pepper
Spices [I used Ms Dash® Southwest Chipotle]
1/2 stick butter
4 ounces of Mozzarella cheese
1/2 ounce of Parmesan cheese
Preheat oven to 425 degrees Farenheit.
Place the frozen chicken breast on the microwave safe plate and microwave for 1 minute at full power. The idea is to take the chill off and thaw the chicken slightly – just enough so that it is easy to slice thin but is still mostly frozen.
While the chicken is in the microwave, oil the baking dish. Cooking spray may be used instead of peanut oil but I enjoy the sensation of getting my oily fingers all up in that dish.
Transfer the chicken breast to the cutting board and rinse the plate it was on under hot tap water, then set the plate aside to drip-dry.
Using the meat cleaver, slice the still semi-frozen chicken lengthwise into 7-8 slices and line the bottom of the oiled baking dish with those slices. Place baking dish in the hot oven.
Rinse the cutting board and cleaver under hot water and get ready to prepare the veggies.
Slice the jalapeño into eight slices lengthwise. If you prefer a milder dish, remove the seeds and membrane. Cut each slice into thirds – you should have 24 pieces in all. Set aside on the microwave plate.
Rinse the mushrooms and slice each into 5 pieces. Set aside with the jalapeños on the microwave plate.
Smash and mince the garlic. Set aside with the jalapeños and mushrooms on the microwave plate.
Remove the baking dish from the oven – the chicken should be turning white instead of pink by now. Sprinkle the veggies from the microwave plate on top of the chicken and return to the oven.
Cut the carrot into slices on a 45 degree bias. Set aside on the now empty microwave plate.
Cut the yellow summer squash into 1 inch chunks. Set aside with the carrot slices on the microwave plate.
Slice the cauliflower into thin splices and set aside with the carrots and squash.
Remove the stems and ends from the green beans and set aside with the carrots, squash and cauliflower.
Remove the baking dish from the oven and add the remaining four sliced veggies to/as the top layer of the baking dish.
Top with one cup of tomato sauce, black pepper, butter and other spices. Cover with foil and bake for 40 minutes.
After 40 minutes, remove from oven and grate the mozzarella directly onto the vegetables. Top off with the parmesan cheese. Do NOT re-cover – return to oven for 10-20 minutes until cheese on top is bubbly and lightly browned.
Cool ten minutes and serve. Cover any leftovers with aluminum foil and once cooled, refrigerate.
If your diet allows you to eat bread products, the buttery-tomato-y liquor in the bottom of the baking pan is a fantastic dipping sauce.
This recipe, with a side salad and some warm dinner rolls, could easily feed four people. As with many tomato-based dishes, the flavor will hold and even improve when reheating the next day.
The only folks this dish won’t please are feminists but remember, they are impossible to please and they always want more.
Some previous entries in Eating (While) MGTOW: