Rape is serious. Yet many fem-anesthetized people ignore rape. To be “fem-anesthetized” is to be anesthetized, however well-meaning, by the dogma of anti-equality feminists. The most foolish of the fem-anesthetized hold no less than two indefensible ideas about rape: 1) only women are victims; 2) only men are villains. To be sure, many of the most foolish of the fem-anesthetized are nothing but hate-filled, anti-male misandrists, who desire nothing more so than to arrogantly, unreasonably spread the poisonous social-momentum of “women are necessarily victims” and “men are necessarily villains.” Nevertheless, there are at least two things far more important than the biased devotion–the chauvinism–of the most foolish of the fem-anesthetized:
1) the defense of all rape victims, and 2) the denunciation of all rapists.
Recently, a popular youtube personality named Jenna Marbles made a video against “sluts.” Among the comments of Marbles, whose youtube channel has about 5.2 million subscribers, was that if a girl at a bar sees a drunk girl going home with a man whom the drunk girl doesn’t know, the onlooking girl should intervene to prevent a “dumb decision” by the drunk girl.
Plenty is wrong with such a stereotypical, oversimplified hypothetical. Haley G. Hoover, one of Marbles’ 5.2 million fans, took particular exception to the advice. Of the hypothetical, Hoover said, “You re not saving her from making a ‘dumb decision’–you are saving her from being raped.” Hoover continued, saying, “A dumb decision implies that this was a two-way street [but] if a man has sex with a woman who is … too drunk to make a sober decision–that is rape, every single time. The sex that occurs in that situation is not ‘a dumb decision made by a slut’–it is rape.”
Hoover’s foolish, short-sighted, sexist response received 90,000 views in just a few days, clearly resonating with plenty among her 70k subscribers on Youtube. I made a video-response to Hoover. The remainder of this article contains a synopsis of my video-response to Hoover, as well as an extension of my points, addressing her video’s text as well as its borrowed cultural-subtext that reflects a self-righteous, short-sighted, anti-male sexism that is far too common among those who, however well-meaning, have become dangerously fem-anesthetized.
Equality requires gender-neutral language
In her video, Hoover says that, “When a man has sex with a drunk woman, it is rape–every time.” Well, for the sake of equality, I will remove the overt, narrow-minded, anti-male sexism from Hoover’s rule, so that it reads: “Having sex with a drunk person is rape.” This rule should seem fine for everyone, except perhaps those who believe men’s sex is worthless, and that, “you can’t rape a man–guys have no standards and are always willing.” However, instead of accepting such misandrist nonsense, let’s agree that men have sexual worth, even though plenty men and women in our culture have come to accept meticulous training that teaches them to believe that men’s sexuality is only ever worthless, dangerous, degrading or otherwise sub-human. Moreover, let’s compare a “drunk woman’s regret” to the regret that many a man feels after having drunk sex with a woman whom he otherwise would not–for example, a woman who is fat and/or tedious and/or clingy. He would not have done that, if here were not drunk. So did she rape him? By Hoovers (amended) rule, of course the man was raped: “Having sex with a drunk person is rape.”
Also, with the gender-neutral rule of, “Having sex with a drunk person is rape,” let’s consider something about these women who–simply because they were drunk–were supposedly raped: how many of them had sex with a drunk man? Plenty. Probably most. Therefore, all that rape is “mutual-rape”–the drunken man raped the drunken women and the drunken woman raped the drunken man.
Of course, plenty sexist, anti-male misandrists will insist, citing men’s sexual-worthlessness, that only SHE was raped. But remember our gender-neutral rule: “Having sex with a drunk person is rape.” And remember also the claimed aim of the fem-anesthetized: equality. And be sure to remember that so many of these anti-equality feminists ignore the true rape of men, women and children, choosing instead to carry on with their disreputable hobby of self-righteous, hypocritical anti-equality against men, boys and equality-minded women and girls–people who want to defend rape-victims and punish rapists, regardless of anyone’s gender.
Another point made in Hoover’s video is an allusion to the popular idea that “most rape is unreported” because “women don’t tell,” so “crime statistics are unreliable.” Of course, it is true that most rape in our culture goes unreported, but not for the reason that people like Hoover believe; rather, in our culture, most rape-victims are men in prison–and most of those rapes go unreported.
Speaking of male victims of rape: until 2012, raped men have been excluded from the FBI definition of rape.
False-accusations of rape
In our culture, a woman is statistically less likely to be raped by a man than a man is to be falsely accused of rape by a woman (and most accusations later determined false do not come undone as described by plenty popular lies–“she was unable to prove the rape” or “she was too shaken to continue pressing charges”–but rather the rape accusations typically come to be shown false when women willingly recant lies they previously leveled against a man). And the vast majority of women who make false rape-accusation against men are never charged with a crime for their lies, regardless that they sought to ruin an innocent person’s life.
Rape as power
Fundamentally, rape is not about sex. Rape is about power: the abuse of power by the rapist, and the dis-empowering of the rape-victim. This is an important thing to remind those who sexistly believe, 1) men’s sex is worthless, therefore, 2) women never rape women. Women do rape men–but our culture usually calls it something else, or ignores it–or laughs about it.
Encouragement of violent women
The rape of women by women should surprise no one, in a culture such as ours that says, “There is never an excuse to hit a women,” instead of simply, “There is never an excuse to hit.” Further, it should be no surprise when women are violent to other women–up to and including rape–when the foolish rule, “There is never an excuse to hit a woman,” is generally enforced by law, and understood by violent women, as simply, “There is never an excuse for a MAN to hit a woman.” Thus–again–it is unreasonable to expect anything other than what our culture has: a society where violent women are becoming harder and harder to lie about and pretend not to notice.
In the context of rape being about power, consider the popular saying, “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight; it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” Recognize how much social-attention goes into de-clawing and de-fanging men–while so many will make excuses for any woman, no matter how aggressive or unprincipled she is. The tyranny that women routinely exact against men in family court could reasonably be called “social-rape.” When so many readily encourage violent women, the following should be no wonder:
1) women statistically abuse children more than men statistically abuse women (or children).
2) female police officers are statistically more likely than male police officers to use excessive force.
3) although men and women statistically are equally prone to domestic violence against the other, women are statistically more likely to use weapons.
Lesbians rape women statistically as often as men rape women. There are many more heterosexual men than homosexual women, so the overall number of woman-on-woman rape are less, yet the proportions are even. (For more about woman rapists, google “She Stole My Voice: A Documentary About Lesbian Rape.”)
Women rape women. Women rape men. Women rape children. These are the facts. Now, consider these facts in the context of our society’s mythologies about women–mythologies that lend to so many people continuously giving a woman the benefit of the doubt, regardless if she is abusive or even a rapist. But now it is time to ignore gender, denounce all rapists, and defend all rape victims.