To the editors of CafeMom, The Stir

TO: The Management of CafeMom, The Stir

401 Park Avenue South, 5th floor
New York, NY 10016

Tracey Odell, Pulbisher
Amy Boshnack, Editorial Director
Cynthia Dermody, Managing Editor


I am writing you on behalf of A Voice for Men, a men’s advocacy group dedicated to ending misandry in western culture.  The reason for this missive is a recent blog post by one of your writers, Nicole Fabian-Weber.

In her article, titled “Wife Cuts Off Husband’s Penis & Chucks It in the River,” Ms. Fabian-Weber made several statements advocating violence and sexual mutilation.

Referring to  a woman who was arrested for severing her husband’s penis with a pair of scissors and throwing it into a river, she called the woman’s action, “Bad. Ass.”

Furthermore, she went on to say, “Although I consider myself to be somewhat of a pacifist, I must admit, I’ve always admired a woman who has the cojones to cut off a man’s weenus.”

After glorifying this egregious act of sadistic violence, she went on to query her readers with, “Do you think cutting off a man’s penis is a suitable punishment after enduring years of emotional and physical abuse?”

The character of this public commentary appears calculated to foster more male-targeting violence. The comment thread of that article presently includes comments demanding the post be removed. Several representatives and readers of A Voice for Men have contacted you through your website’s feedback form expressing similar sentiments. We have also published two articles strongly critical of Nicole Fabian-Weber’s conduct, as well as placing her on an online registry to maintain a public record of her actions.

Thus far, the question that Fabian-Weber posed to her readers, asking them if they felt that sexual mutilation is justified, has been removed, but the remainder of the post remains.  This is unacceptable.

As the senior editorial staff of CafeMom The Stir, you are the final arbiters of what remains on your website.  That post is not just the ramblings of one disturbed, pro-violence individual, but a reflection of the values of your entire organization. Therefore, the continued presence of this hate speech can only be construed as overt approval from management – that would be the three of you – for the advocacy of the violent disfiguring of incapacitated, defenseless persons as a way to resolve marital difficulties.

In the most direct sense, it makes you every bit as responsible and culpable as Fabian-Weber.

On behalf of the A Voice for Men organization I hereby demand that you take corrective, ameliorative action to remedy this inexcusable support of sadistic violence. We have already taken actions regarding the author of this blog, and will continue those efforts toward all responsible parties involved, unless a responsible outcome is achieved.

This letter is being sent to you via your website contact form, and is also en route via registered mail.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.


Paul Elam
A Voice for Men

Addendum: since the release of this letter and the barrage of protest communications received by CafeMom, The Stir, they have revising the content of the article. It still leaves a contemptuous ready, but further illustrates that the management has no intention of accepting responsibility and taking corrective action on the post. Rather they have opted to try to conceal and historically revise the original content of the post.  You can read the original version of the post here:

Proof of Deceit

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