Mr. theOther, I quit.

Two weeks ago, I spoke to Derek Bedry, a “reporter” for openfile.ca, by phone. He alleged he was doing a story on the posters going up in Vancouver. We chatted for an hour on topics ranging from judicial reform to the effectiveness of polemical writing in human rights activism. Following that call, I might have said he is a journalist. Now, I’ll say simply he writes for openfile.ca

To call his article a hit-piece is inadequate. To call it a bizarre and hyperbolic fantasy is inadequate. To be entirely honest, as I write this, I don’t know what to make of Bedry’s writing. Excrescence might be a suitable term.

But in keeping with Bedry’s spirit of utter departure from reality, I will refrain from any attempt to polish this turd, and hand the floor to my intern, Molly Sãmmichhãmmer. Molly has been of invaluable service to me in her capacity as my general assistant, gopher, and sammich maker, and it’s been a delight to hear her softly snoring from her basket at the foot of my bed since I took her on a few months ago. So without further preamble, here is Molly:

Thanks to Mr. Bedry’s stunning investigative skills, I have discovered, to my considerable shock and dismay, that I am a novice member of an organization with terrorist ties and rape apologetical leanings. It’s all right there in Mr. Bedry’s opening:

“A poster campaign by a newly formed Vancouver branch of the Men’s Rights Movement (MRM) has residents in targeted neighbourhoods taking to the streets and the web in opposition to the organization’s links to terrorism and rape apology.”

These are very alarming claims. So alarming, I immediately searched the article’s body and footnote for links to the sources of these claims. Alas, I was somewhat dismayed by the fact that, no source for these alarming claims are offered anywhere in or near the article. But no matter. Mr. Bedry is a wonderful man, with his community’s best interests at heart. I know this, because he says so, and given that he’s such an upstanding, fair-minded citizen with such a strong sense of civic duty and justice, in his opinion, I’m prepared to take him at his word.

In fact, on further thought, I should probably thank him for not providing those sources, as it would be very uncomfortable indeed were I to check them and discover that I am, unwittingly, one of these terrorists. Suffice to say that I’m horrified to have learned that I’ve been making sammiches and folding the underpants of a known terrorist for the last 11 weeks! I plan to call the police about it, and the coast guard, the moment I’m done clearing away his supper dishes and fetching his slippers!

Mr. Bedry goes on to present a self-shot photo of a poster torn from a privately owned construction hoarding. Mr. theOther informed me that he has the permission of the owners of the property to post his misogynistic material. Who would have believed we would have a misogynistic construction company working in THIS neighbourhood? The caption states that “area residents, offended by their message, tore them down”

Offended by what message? Bedry doesn’t say, but I’m very sure it must be something AWFUL. In fact, when Mr. theOther was occupied in the washroom a moment or two ago, I leafed through his poster pile on the coffee table and found what seems to be the offending poster, which reads, in part:

“Men’s rights are human rights.” Shocking rhetoric indeed. Admittedly the contested poster also reads:

You don’t hate African Americans do you?

No, of course not, because you are a decent human being.

You don’t hate Jews do you?

No, of course not, because you are a decent human being.

You don’t hate gays or lesbians do you?

No, of course not, because you are a decent human being.

You don’t hate women do you?

Of course not, you are a decent human being.

You dont hate men do you?

Do you?

Men’s rights are human rights.

Still, it’s one of those trick endings that make you think it’s saying something it’s not really saying. You THINK it’s saying “Men’s rights are human rights”, but what it’s really saying is that women aren’t people. Clear as day, for anyone with eyes to read. I’m actually beginning to think it was a mistake to come work for Mr. theOther. He’s a tricky sort, for sure, even if my basket is very comfortable.

This is the poster under dispute. The poster which Derek Bedry’s reportage notes does “not believe the posters meet the community’s standards”. Very mild language on Mr. Bedry’s part, if you ask me–this is hate speech, pure and simple. The more I read of this article, the more convinced I am that the phrase, “men’s rights are human rights” not only does not meet the community’s standards, it does not meet the criteria for simple human decency.

I find myself vehemently agreeing with the poster-tearer-downer who was quoted, “Obviously [sex equality] is a discussion we need to have out in the open, not with finger-pointing and trying to tear each other down.” It’s clear to me that Mr. theOther is trying to tear these poor people down, whose only crime was tearing down posters which they find offensive. In fact, in protesting the tearing down of his posters, Mr. theOther is virtually censoring these people!

The sentiments of a second poster-tearer-downer echoed the first: “It’s really just an echo chamber of misogyny and hatred of women in general” echoed Jamie Jim Jimmy James Russel.

I’m starting to become very upset with Mr. theOther. He had me fooled into thinking I was part of a movement for equality, and here he is, censoring the echoes of these concerned citizens by exercising his right to speak! Sometimes a person’s right to speak must be suspended, Mr. theOther, when more numerous and mainstream folks feel their voices are not being heard.

Mr. Bedry also reveals: “The MRM is known worldwide for it’s connection with acts of mass violence.”

Bedry’s scrupulous research also such identified Men’s rights notables Anders Breivik and Marc Lepine. I have since heard that other links to famous undesirables have been uncovered, to Charles Manson, Tim McVeigh, Jack the Ripper, Charton Heston, Mecha-Godzilla, and Ron Jeremy.

This clearly demonstrates the complete evil of bloggers and poster hanging misogynists in the MRM. Although there are rumors that Osama Bin Laden was sympathetic to the MRM, he didn’t make the membership requirements, as he’s not a privileged white male. However, his clear (possible) sympathy with MRM issues is damning indeed.

These are all very bad fellows, many of them unshaven, and I’m glad somebody finally told me. I’ll be seeking help soon from the police, and possibly the Coast Guard. The sooner these devils are behind bars, where they can’t put up any more posters, the better.

I’ve forwarded this article to Mr theOther’s AVoiceforMen Radio co-hosts. Girl Writes What, who as I type these words, sits in a skype video window in the corner of my screen, drinking somewhat immoderately, and clutching her ample, heaving, generous and milk-white bosom at hearing the news of her affiliation with *known terrorists*, expressed gratitude to Mr. Bedry and his poster-tearer-downers at removing the scales from her eyes. She now sees Mr. theOther as the misogynist people-tearer-downer and censor-by-free-speecher that he is.

Dr Tara Palmatier, who co-hosts Paul Elam’s Weekly radio show has been dispatched a copy of this article, and a fainting couch. Well intentioned bystanders have loosened the good doctor’s bodice and are applying tincture of harts horn beneath her delicate nostrils.

Typhon Blue, when reached for comment reported she had long suspected AVfM founder Paul Elam, and my master boss Mr. theOther – were both lurching hateful and violent misogynists. However, Typhon, in the interests of science, is determined to continue writing for the web site, and co-hosting AVoiceforMen Radio. A brave frontierswoman, clearly.

Bedry also notes the connection between Thomas James Ball and the MRM. Although unknown to virtually everyone in the world prior to setting himself on fire in an act of vile terrorism that caused much upset, inconvenience and discomfort to public officials, AVFM’s posthumous publishing of his manifesto is clear evidence that they were in cahoots with him all along. I am equally certain, upon further readings of Mr. Bedry’s article for the purpose of my critique, that appeals to violent protest and revolution within Thomas Ball’s manifesto were redacted by computer glitch or administrative error.

Obviously it was not intentional, and this is a continued technical problem on the site, as the true intentions of AVfMs editorial mandate are to instigate violent overthrow of the government, and the rape and domestic enslavement of all women. Sammiches don’t make themselves, you know.

For real academic expertise on the men’s rights movement, Mr. Bedry interviewed feminist law professor Janine Benedet, who noted the MRM’s recent success equalizing the legal process for fathers in divorces and custody battles. However Benedet regarded the MRM’s attention focusing on keeping rape law consistent with criminal law as “disturbing”. Adherence to legal due process is of course, creepy, in cases of rape. Any decent person can see that!

Benedet also stressed the importance of resisting the men’s rights movement: “These groups are working really hard to turn back the clock”

Mr theOther, who has not given me an official comment to use in this article, did mutter under his breath: “Why isn’t she wearing her house frock, the ignorant, impertinent slattern?” Or at least, that’s what I imagine he muttered. It’s just what a misogynist like him would say.

Another concerned citizen made it clear that the community knows how to deal with men who claim to not be rapists or monsters. Sylvania MacFurlong stated “I think we’re responding with outrage, tearing the posters down, having a really visceral reaction to this.” Clearly, the tearing down of posters in protest to Mr. theOther’s attempts to silence and censor the mostly feminist community by protesting their tearing down of his posters, is the only rational response of concerned community members. “Because they are woman haters,” MacFurlong added “a big part of activism in Vancouver is trying to build an alternative.”

We certainly need alternatives to the claim that “men’s rights are human rights”! Mr. theOther, you ought to be ashamed to say such a thing!

Vancouver’s Commercial Drive neighbourhood is renowned for a welcoming, diverse and broadly accepting community. That diversity can only be protected by tearing down posters that upset the majority of the community. Any decent person can see that.

Mr. Bedry, I applaud your tireless efforts to inform the public about this menace to the common good. And I shall both call the police AND terminate my employment with Mr. theOther, as soon as I’m done running his bath.

[1] http://www.openfile.ca/vancouver/story/mens-rights-campaign-stirs-conflict-

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