You’re a pill, Shona Sibary

Don’t want to have sex with your emotionless robot drone husband? There’s a pill for that!

Trigger warning: images of Shona Sibary

Hey, have you guys heard about this little blue pill men can take to produce instant raging boner?

Apparently, the ladies version will be hitting the shelves soon, and boy, has that ever stimulated some interesting conversation! Kelly Rose Bradford and my favorite little cross-eyed child beater, Shona Sibary had separate takes on the issue over at theDaily Mail, and let me tell you, they both suck.


Shona, she of the “I would rather mop the floor than fuck my husband” school of matrimony, says the pill will never work because women are so much more emotionally complicated than men.


Sibary said women are more complicated sexually than men, and that the pill would not stimulate females emotionally.

She said: ‘If you’re a man and you want to have sex for the sake of having it, fine, pop a pill and have sex in the mechanical way.

‘But women are different. I’m the type of woman this drug is targeting, and we want to feel desirable and desired: it’s not a chemical thing, it’s an emotional thing.’


Yikes! Perhaps a reality check is in order on the desirability front. Honey, you’re ugly. You simply cannot afford to be overweight and have a shitty haircut, too. Now, now, don’t get mad at me, gentle readers. The fact that Shona is ugly is not news to her.

Let’s hope Mr. Sibary is blessed with very poor eyesight. What I really want to talk about is Shona’s argument that for men, sex is mechanical, while for women, it’s emotional.

V?tsy?yana strongly disagrees.


Probably the most famous book on sex ever written. Kama Sutra means “Aphorisms of Love”. You will note the absence of the word “jackhammer” in that translation.

John Donne thinks Shona is full of shit, too. The greatest love poet in the English language.


Love’s mysteries in souls do grow,

But yet the body is his book.


George Herbert, too.


You must sit down, says Love, and taste my meat:

So I did sit and eat.

Basically the entire worlds of art and literature are against Shona’s assertion that men are rutting pigs who will stick their dicks in anything that moves, incapable of feeling love or profound emotional connection.

Rodin says Fuck You, Shona. The most beautiful sculpture ever created, in my opinion.


Leaving aside her lack of physical assets, compounded terribly by being overweight, dreadful hair and absolutely no sense of fashion whatsoever, is it possible that the lack of desire Shona complains about is the result of her being a fucking bitch? I mean really, after a busy day of slapping her toddler so hard she leaves welts behind, humiliating her teenage daughter by inviting people to call her a slut and looking upon her husband with disgust and the mop pail with lust, what exactly is there to desire about this woman?


What kind of emotional connection is possible with a woman who admits she terrorizes her children regularly with physical violence?


I was talking to a friend the other day, and she admitted — in a guilty whisper — that she had, very occasionally, smacked her two sons. She refrained from doing so more often because she couldn’t bear the thought of them ‘flinching’ when she went near them.

I refrained from telling her that my children not only flinch — they duck, dive and even, on occasion, lock themselves in another room to avoid being on the receiving end of my hand.

Charming. God, I hate this woman. The only pill she should consider taking is cyanide.

So let’s move on to Bradford. Does she make a better argument for why women should take the lady viagara?


Speaking to Dr Dawn Harper and married presenters Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford, Bradford said the pill could help women suffering from a low sex drive to stop their husbands straying.

Now, we’ve discussed before how a lack of sex does indeed push husbands to stray, but unspoken in Bradford’s argument is the exact same assumption as Sibary.

That men just want to fuck. No emotional commitment or engagement is necessary. Pop the pill, roll over, and have at ‘er.


So romantic.

What both these women are doing is assuming a moral superiority over men when it comes to the experience of emotion. The ladies are not just assuming their own feelings trump any feelings men might have, but point blank denying that men have any feelings at all! It’s astonishing that women making those kinds of claim illicit no reaction whatsoever, even from the man sitting in the room with them!


Sex is just mechanics for men. Men don’t feel love. Love isn’t an important determinant of how satisfying sex is for men. Men don’t care WHY their wives are having sex with them, they just want sex.

Hmmm. Such a mystery why these particular women don’t find sex all that satisfying, huh?

Check out this column from Maggie McNeill at the Honest Courtesan (a woman who knows a thing or two about male desire). The idea that “duty sex” is unappealing to men is taken for granted. The exact opposite of what the ladies at the Daily Mail argue.


Loss of libido in women, excepting rare medical conditions, in my opinion, is a direct result of not seeing men as emotionally complex beings. If you’re married, at some point, your husband probably stood in front of you and promised to love you forever. Rejecting him physically is a very wounding thing to do. It hurts. Sex is one of the most important, intimate ways married couples show that they love one another. Refusing to have sex with your husband is telling him, in a very painful way, that you don’t love him. That you don’t care for him or about him.

I guess the only way to justify that is to think of men as emotionless. It doesn’t hurt men to be rejected because they don’t feel anything to begin with.

That’s the ugly little reality behind female viagara. Will it actually boost women’s libido? Who knows. What difference will it make, though, if women are going to continue to see men as less than completely human? That’s the real problem.


i carry your heart with me

by E. E. Cummings


i carry your heart with me(i carry it in

my heart)i am never without it(anywhere

i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear

no fate(for you are my fate, my sweet)i want

no world(for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)


How did we get here? How do we go back? I’d like a pill for that.

Lots of love,



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