Earl’s final thoughts

 

 

 

The following is from the website that was run by Earl Silverman, familyofmen.com.  It is reportedly his suicide note, handwritten just prior to taking his own life. AVFM has no confirmation that this is the actual letter from Earl, but it was posted by whoever was left with administrative access.

Earl-Silverman-300x197
Earl Silverman

With hopes that its authenticity will eventually be established, we hope this may provide clarity for those, like us, who are still seeking answers for this loss. It is posted as it was found, with only minor corrections for spelling.

Out of respect for Earl, I will not offer any commentary or speculation on this letter at this time. This note, if real, was for all of us to reflect upon in our own way. PE

???

These are the final words from Earl Silverman, written on 3 sheets of recycled paper in the late night hours before his body was found early in the morning of April 26th, 2013. (This text has been typed by a friend who did their best to decipher and honour punctuation.)

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I am a male victim of female perpetrated domestic violence.

For the last 20+ years I attempted to find support services & make the gov. of Alberta aware of the lack of support services for men.

I failed in both goals: nothing for me and nothing for men. Alberta failed to take my submissions serious for 20+ years – the only time they took me serious was based on a rhetorical comment to [unintelligible].

Today started & continued to be a great day but that changed with [redacted]’s attempt to extort an additional $1200.00 which he knows I paid to [redacted]. Due to his greed to line his pockets I spent time away from the move. The time lost created a series of events that has caused additional stress that put me over the edge.

The last time I looked to support was with James at the Sheldon Chumir Centre: Rather than acknowledge that I suffered from PTSD due to female perpetrated domestic violence he called me Narcissistic Personality Disorder with no treatment because he does not believe that men are victims of female perpetrated domestic violence.

Blair Mason dismissed my human rights complaint on the basis of no substantiated need.

Maybe my death will create a need.

One death on the basis of preventable issue is one too many. LGBT are less of a population than victims but there is funding for research & services but not for men.

Alberta considers men less than dogs, cats & cows as demo in NOV 2012 Diverse Voices Family Violence Conference men are perpetrators & pets & livestock are [unintelligible] victims.

There are numerous storms happening in my head.

These storms are in a combined storm. I cannot think straight I cannot reason well. I cannot hold onto a thought long enough to work through it. A thought just gets picked up by the storm & swept away without being dealt with. Lack of focus creates all sorts of problems – like not being able to hold onto a job. Thinking things through to an end result before everything gets mixed up & blow away.

I hope Hemi has a good home. He is a good cat.

I hope a review of my death creates services for men.

Men similar to me self-medicate with drugs or/and alcohol & end up destitute & homeless or they take their own life. Why do I have to go so far to get the proper services of support?  I don’t understand. The storm in my head is severe I can’t take it any longer

[redacted] are appreciated as my lawyers

No one knew about my choice. I hid it well.

It was a good day but the storm in my head is too severe. I hope it is [unintelligible] with my efforts for personal as well as general support for male victims of female perpetrated violence

My death is due to not being taken serious on the issue lack of services. Alberta Spends $60 million for women and nothing for men. Where is the equality? Where is my dignity as a victim who could not reach the point of survivor?

I am tired & can’t deal with it any more.

I appoint [redacted] and [redacted] to handle my estate and create a Family of Men educational Scholarship for male victims of female perpetrated domestic violence

I hope Allison Redford is advised of my demise and Devinder Shory.

If this is the only way to get attention of the issue – so be it. Sorry everybody for your pain – my choice nothing you could do. Only Alberta & services for men.

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