Writer’s Guidelines

Please read this carefully and completely before submitting.

A Voice for Men welcomes contributions from the larger community of men and women with something to say about most any aspect of the modern sexual zeitgeist.  Some basic requirements for submissions are as follows:

You must know, or be willing to learn, how to post an article in WordPress admin.  It is relatively simple and we will help you if you are unfamiliar with the platform.

Pieces are generally expected to be between 600 and 2,000 words, but variations on that are not out of the question.

Very important: Use a spell check before submitting, or we will send your piece to the trash before we finish reading it. Sorry, we don’t have time to compensate for your lack of attention to punctuation and other details.

One of our pet peeves is improper use of bold fonts, ALL CAPS and punctuation. Caps, bold font and exclamation points do not make your point stronger in most cases, and may actually make you look desperate. Occasionally there are exceptions, but the best policy is just to let the writing, not gimmicks,  make your point.

Improper use of punctuation in relation to quotation marks is one of our other pet peeves. For example, when using quotation marks, in most cases punctuation will be placed inside the second set of marks, not outside. Thus, we put something in quotation “like this,” not  “like this”. Cool? There are some minor exceptions, and you can read about that here.

If you are going to use statistics or make empirical claims in your article, you must provide sources.

Going through a piece with lots of things placed in quotes and having to henpeck our way through correcting things like that puts us in a bad mood. So, please do your part; have your article not require anyone to sit with it for two or three hours in order to make it publishable.

Anyone wishing to have their article submission processed for posting here MUST provide a full name (first and last) and a 25-45 word bio. You can also supply an image for your bio box if preferred.

[box type=”alert” icon=”none”]Some other matters for writers to consider:[/box]

Your byline: We ask all writers submitting for the first time to give a first and last name to use in the byline. It does not have to be your actual name. It can be a pseudonym of your choosing. Please do not submit articles with an internet screen name like lizardgulp321 or Phineas Fembotcrusher and expect us to let it represent a contributor to AVfM. Please help us maintain a professional appearance that fits the high caliber website AVfM has become.

Your byline/username MUST be in the body of text of your article when submitted in order to be considered.

You have to be able to write effectively. You needn’t be Hemingway, but fundamental writing skills are a must. You can have the greatest ideas and perspectives in the world, but if you can’t set them to pen in a way that keeps people engaged, then no one will finish what you have written, or come back to this website.

This is not a place for partisan politics. Period.

This is not a place for woman bashing. Clarification: We invite well written pieces on the dark side of both the feminine and masculine psyche with unapologetic abandon. The point is that bitches and ho’s diatribes are not the same thing as incisive analysis about what is wrong with women in this culture, any more than rants about how “men only want one thing” have ever added anything meaningful to understanding men, generally speaking. OK, lecture over.

Regarding religion: AVfM accepts no articles that either promote religion, or that are critical of those that choose to follow a religious path in life.  The idea is that AVfM is not a platform for a religious message, nor is it a place to gratuitously bash religious people. Thoughtful critique of religion, however, is welcome and encouraged.

No stupid racist or anti-Semitic bullshit.

If you have not just been scared off, and you can wield a keyboard like a sword, then shoot me an email on the link below. Send me a submission (no attachments, plain text only please), include whatever name you want placed as the byline for the piece, and let’s add another voice to the choir. Please be aware that all submissions to that email are considered final, and will not be subject to ongoing edits by authors.

Editorial desk: (not article submissions)
[encrypted_email address=peterwright.mmhn@yahoo.com label=”(send email)”]

Article submissions:
[encrypted_email address=peterwright.mmhn@yahoo.com label=”(send email)”]

[typography font=”Just Another Hand” size=”34″ size_format=”px”]Paul Elam[/typography]

66 thoughts on “Writer’s Guidelines”

  1. It is time for me to join the choir.
    I shall sing in my Alto voice this week.

    Watch for it. 🙂
    Your website has evolved into quite the multi-faceted diamond!
    I still adore the early rough rocks, though.
    Excellent job Paul.

    Hard work and dedication, is like the cream in the the ol’ milk bottle.
    It always rises to the top.


    1. I need help!
      I’m trying to help a man who is in jail for statitory rape on a minor. He’s innocent!
      The D.A. railroaded him into taking a plea. He finally has the court papers that the D.A.
      Didn’t show before, which proves his innocent. Please help him! Please if anyone can help please contact me @ sweetbip9167@msn.com.
      We have very limited funds. But I really hope that won’t stop you from helping.

  2. I think your Happy Misogynist videos are awesome! Never stop doing what your doing Paul. You are a flash light in a dark house.

  3. Keep up the your truly awesome work man, I grew up in a very misandrist house and was so brainwashed that for years I thought that the demeaning and condescending treatment myself, my brother and my father – who worked relentlessly and uncomplainingly to provide for all of us, without any genuine appreciation from my mother, was something that we deserved because, after all men are selfish pigs. I still find it hard to believe I bought so completely into this bullshit and I can’t thank you enough for spelling it out and MAKING THE DIFFERENCE. you can’t respect yourself if you believe there is something wrong with who and what you are, and I have to say you have given me back my self-respect, missing for so long, I feel truly alive and I thank you.


    1. When men gain their self respect back and learn once again that being male is not a shameful thing then we will be unstoppable.

      I was also raised by a feminist mother and for years thought all men including myself were evil.

    2. Odinn, your comment hit me like a ton of bricks and put into words what I have been feeling the past few years of my life. I was well into my 30’s before I realized the negative brainwashing and male bashing I have suffered at the hands of my mother. I was so moved in reading your comment in that not many men have the guts to admit their mothers are a huge part of their misandric, self-hating issues. I know I am a latecomer to this article but I still wanted to thank you for helping me dig even deeper into my psyche and moving me to comment.

  4. Very nice site redo Paul. Best wishes on a successful launch. Since Men’s News Daily is closing down. There needs to be multiple voices for the Men’s movement. I believe that the reason Feminism has prevailed thus far. Is that the Men folk never showed up to dispute them. They won by default.

  5. Im glad I found this place too
    but there are so few of us
    Is it too late is our kind going to become extinct?

  6. It’s never too late, and there aren’t just a few of us out there, there are lots of really pissed off guys who are fed up with the status quo, I have been posting on many of the related videos on youtube and copying the links to the videos that show women in a different light, Here is a really good one that will show any of you naive young men just what women think of us as a gender.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlFAd4YdQks&NR=1 ..soon I will have a blog of my own, Hosting is 7.95 a month, a domain name is 10 to 15 dollars a year, and the blog can be set up for free at wordpress.org.

  7. First I apologize for the swearing that this man says in his videos, but he makes a really good point. One that everyman should be slapped around the face with, because honestly I see no other way of getting them to see it. Both the bad boy and the chivalrous knight are slaves to women and are both effectively manginas. Though this is now obvious to MRA’s young men seriously don’t get it. Not only are the men of my generation oblivious of this fact they celebrate it. Just read any magazine that’s tailored towards “men”. The final and basic conclusion that they make is the only purpose of our young lives is to appease women’s any desire for sex. Go to any forum online where mainly men are and post a generic topic. Most other men won’t read it, but post a picture of a hot girl naked and suddenly the flavor of your favorite soda will become the hottest topic. The biggest problem though is young men think they’re sticking it to the feminists by acting like frat boys .it’s sad and pathetic and I can guarantee that I will never take place or approve of the knightly and bad boy behavior ever again. Now if you can get through his swearing this man has a good point to make.

  8. Let’s fix VAWA.

    VAWA is a very sick law, and everyone who supports it, lives from it, abuses it and commits fraud in its name is very sick too. I would much rather have you engaged in a brain-storming discussion proposing ways to fix VAWA.

    It is time to:

    1. Accept reality. Accept that there are very sick women out there who mislead our legislative bodies and created a very sick law – VAWA – that creates an incentive for other very sick women to lie, deceive and prostitute themselves so that an innocent American citizen would marry them, and then falsely accuse him in order to fabricate evidence for a VAWA self petition.

    2. Acquire the wisdom, the knowledge, the tools, the strategies, the skills, the contacts etc… to find a way to make people know, to inform, to explain, to propose fixes and changes and to make people listen.

    3. Find the courage, the energy, the resources, the time and the motivation to bring about general understanding by the public of the destruction VAWA does to our society and to work on a real and substantial fix for VAWA.

    It is time to stop playing their game. It is time to start a new game. The new game must have new rules which are fair and just and are constructive for our society.

    Let’s work on a plan, let’s develop strategies, let’s change ourselves to people with personalities that people listen to, let’s build a network, let’s find ways to educate the public, let’s document the destruction and the pain that were inflicted on us by VAWA and these sick women, let’s formulate proposals for change and find ways to defend them and persuade others. Let’s find people and organizations that are interested in helping us.

    Let’s fix VAWA.

    And I promise you all, that if all of us VAWA victims will start defining our new game, our new strategy, and play it in a dedicated and passionate manner, we will win!!!

  9. I love women, and I’m a survivor of DV. But, I just have to say, Damn I love this site!

    When the hell are you hooking into face book so, I can spread the word?

  10. I am writing a book about my experience with DV and how my daughter was taken from me automatically. Once it’s published, if I make anything from it, I will be donating to this site…

    For the first time in a year I actually smiled when I found this site, after seeing your you-tube video. You don’t know how hard it’s been brothers… Bless you for making this site, and speaking the truth.

  11. Dear Paul,

    Similar to Odinn, I was raised in a misandristic environment, and it seemed there was no alternative. I grew hating myself and my body. I was depressed and suicidal for nearly my whole life. Out of sarcastic rage I formed the fictitious organization of “C.A.P.O.W.!”(Club for Actually Punching Out Women). However, after reading your site, and after reading other MRA sites, and in fact learning that a MRM even exists did a great deal to soothe my nearly constant Hulking out from rage. I’ve since disbanded C.A.P.O.W.!, as it’s no different than feminist ideology, just in a different wrapping, and in the long run such an organization won’t help anyone, it will only assist in the perpetuation of the hateful cycle.

    Some of my favorite things about reading your site is the grammar, the applied logic and reason, that rationality, the fair judgment based on straightforward analysis of evidence, the focus and clarity of the writings. You fight the feminists not on their terms of irrationality and impulsive appeals to emotion, but with articulated reason and well researched evidence. NONE of these exist in feminist arguments, most notably grammar.

    I’m not sure I could ever do what you do, as the feminists STILL drive me into nearly a blind rage where thinking and articulation is nearly impossible while the blood is pounding in my temples. Reading sites like this do a great deal of good for my mind and body.

    Thank you for giving a voice to the strange idea that men might live with dignity. Thank you for this site, for your fight. Please never stop writing. My friends and I all read your site and tell other men.

    -Johnny Blank

  12. Love your comments and thoughtful analysis. I’m with you!

    Rather than spending my energy fighting feminism, I’m focusing on celebrating the goodness of men and the importance of respecting and celebrating them.

  13. Hello Paul, I am a first timer on your website and I just wanted to congratulate on your awesome videos on feminism and trying to educate men and convincing women alike about its damaging effects on society as a whole. This cancer known as feminism demonizes real men and women, who ask hard questions and see the bullshit ideology for what it is. I am one of many men who has seen the damaging effects of feminism and I came from a broken home living in foster care throughout my childhood. I know what it is like to not have my father in my life growing up, but I was very fortunate to have male role models who were able to teach me what life would be like growing up in a misandric society where a male is demonized for being male, and it is really hard looking for work, where affirmative action and welfare for shrewdish women is rampant, especially throughout New York City, where the law is virtually always on a womans side, rarely if ever on a mans side, especially a real decent man, but as far as I know the vast majority of people living in western society are a bunch of degenerates as it is. Real males have to continually suffer under this misandry, and I for one am tired of this bullshit ideology that has permeated western society at large. I just wanted to give my sincerest thanks, and I am all for the truth. Take care.

  14. Paul, I recently read B.R. Merrick’s blog post and while I think it’s a great start, I also recognised a glaring pitfall which could lead people back to the insidious prison of traditional masculine values if they weren’t careful (which in and of themselves are a prison so insidious that most men don’t even recognise them as a prison).

    I wrote a blog post in response to this, but was wondering how to go about posting it, or what the process was in terms of you approving it et al.

  15. Thank You Paul, and I will do the best I can to support our cause to topple these monstrosities known as feminism and political correctness. I appreciate learning form you and our fellow commenters. I will do the best I can to help expose these cancers where they stand. I am walking on eggshells with my family as it is because they are strong supporters of these feminazi politicians, and I get constantly berated everytime I try to tell them the truth, and flip it right back at me and say, “Our president has a lot on his plate”, “You are a conspiracy theorist”, and lastly, “You should be proud that you have the right to vote in the Greatest Country In The World”!, defending the very government that is very corrupt. I believe in true equality for real men and women, and for us to embrace who they are naturally, without having this feminist government tell us who we are and what we are. I am believe in men embracing their natural masculinity and women embracing their natural femininity, as these are our natural characteristics and the source of our greatest strengths, as these are unique to our very definitive nature as human beings and brings out the greatest qualities in all of us. I will get back as soon as I get the chance and I hope to have the chance to be part of our great cause, and freedom and a future are worth fighting for. I looking forward to getting writing back to you and all our fellow commenters, and will keep getting more insight from your videos. Take care and God Bless!

  16. Redpill’s comment about the NATURAL man and woman brought me to something I was cogitating on recently: My dogs are NATURAL animals, they desire only to eat, sleep and procreate, they don’t aspire to look better by combing their fur to build a dog house better than another’s on anything more than that first stated. Being friendly to we humans improves their chow and place to sleep etc. I can introduce you to a number of NATURAL humans that have the same aspirations and only do more to narrowly provide their chow, sleeping situation and chances of procreation.
    The differences between the NATURAL female and males is that the females are much more oriented toward procreating and then being supported while they raise their progeny while we men are more orientated in simply having intercourse. This has benefited the species in that we can fertilize many women while they optimally have one or more men to support them.
    We are the ‘UNNATURAL’ guys that aspire to do more. It seems to me that as men, we SHOULD work to develop our unique character of becoming more rational and productive.Redpill’s comment about the NATURAL man and woman brought me to something I was cogitating on recently: My dogs are NATURAL animals, they desire only to eat, sleep and procreate, they don’t aspire to look better by combing their fur to build a dog house better than another’s on anything more than that first stated. Being friendly to we humans improves their chow and place to sleep etc. I can introduce you to a number of NATURAL humans that have the same aspirations and only do more to narrowly provide their chow, sleeping situation and chances of procreation.
    The differences between the NATURAL female and males is that the females are much more oriented toward procreating and then being supported while they raise their progeny while we men are more orientated in simply having intercourse. This has benefited the species in that we can fertilize many women while they optimally have one or more men to support them.
    We are the ‘UNNATURAL’ guys that aspire to do more. It seems to me that as men, we SHOULD work to develop our unique character of becoming more rational and productive.

  17. liberals and feminists want to silence any opposing view…kind of like liberals on a college campus shouting down a conservative speaker….hey speaking of that where did my comment disappear to??…..Does anyone mind if I puke?….so Paul who did you vote for and why?…the feminists on the NOW web site are agressive in going after politicians and get what they want . Feminists vote democrat for a reason . Why do you avoid this ? I’m curious you say you are a libertarian . Are you a liberal libertarian or a conservative ?

  18. http://bellsouthpwp2.net/a/r/arietti/vawa_1.html

    If only we could enlighten the people of the illegitimacy and unconstitutionality of VAWA, then its fall will be inevitable!!!


    The VAWA immigration loop-hole:

    The formula is simple: Pretend you’re in love with someone, get them to marry you, then, a few months later start making unsupported accusations of abuse. The accusations will stick, even if completely unsupported by facts. In no time they’re on the path to permanent residency and with plenty of help from US taxpayers. As you can see from the many stories in this forum, the innocent US spouse often pays a heavy price in terms of psychological distress, legal bills, damage to reputation, and in many cases even a criminal record.


    Why is what these women do so wrong, appalling and nauseating? When I say “these women” I mean each and every woman who is involved in these organizations, in formulating and supporting VAWA, in instructing women on how to make these false accusations and on how to manipulate and abuse an innocent American citizen, the police, the courts, the American support system and the American immigration system, and of course the women who deliberately plan on prostituting themselves and deceiving an American citizen in order to deceitfully make him sign the marriage so that they can falsely accuse him and file a VAWA self-petition.

    There is a distinct difference between wrong and right, and just because something is not punishable by law (the false accusations of domestic violence with the intention of fabricating evidence for a VAWA self-petition and abuse the American support system) does not make it right. Specifically, making false accusations of domestic violence in order to fabricate evidence for a VAWA self-petition is one of the most despicable acts a human being can do.

    …So to clarify:

    To want to help an immigrant woman who is in difficulties is right

    To offer an immigrant woman my house when she has no other place to stay is right

    To help an immigrant woman with food, transport, money, medical issues, surgeries… is right

    To agree to marry an immigrant woman after living together with her for 3 whole years is right

    To plan on doing whatever it takes, including lying, deceiving and prostituting herself in order to get an American citizen to sign a marriage is wrong

    To act, pretend to love him, to lie and say that she wants to be his wife, to abuse his time and manipulate his emotions is wrong

    To instigate violence, to provoke, to destroy his home and reputation is wrong

    To lie to the police, to make false police reports, to try to get the innocent American citizen arrested in an attempt to fabricate evidence for a VAWA self-petition is wrong

    To contact a VAWA shelter and to lie in order for the VAWA shelter to help her fabricate more evidence for the VAWA self-petition it wrong

    To lie on a petition for a Temporary Protective Order and to sign a false TPO petition is wrong.

    To lie to the TPO office at the court-house in order for them to help her get the TPO is wrong

    To go in front of the judge, to swear to say the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and then to commit perjury and falsely accuse the very same person who helped her out of love and compassion is wrong

    To commit perjury in the TPO hearing when her “husband” is present is wrong.

    To abuse the American support system by pretending to be a domestic violence victim is wrong

    To break in to and burglarize the house of the very same person who helped her out of love and compassion is wrong

    To formulate a law that creates an incentive for immigrant women to prostitute themselves, to lie, deceive and do whatever it takes so that an American citizen would agree to marry them is wrong

    To formulate a law that creates an incentive for women to falsely accuse their “husbands” is wrong

    To instruct women on how to falsely accuse their “husbands” is wrong

    To help and instruct women on how to fabricate evidence for a VAWA self-petition is wrong

    To instruct women on how to abuse the American support system is wrong

    … I can go on and on…

    I don’t think I could have been any clearer with the lists above.

    Have you noticed how long the “wrongs” list is?

    Martha, the Mexican immigrant women that I was helping out of my good heart and naivety – did all that.

    If only we could enlighten the people of the illegitimacy and unconstitutionality of VAWA, then its fall will be inevitable!!!

    – Al


    There are a number of factors that these psychopathic immigrants use to carry out their diabolic plan:

    1. Men have a natural tendency to care for and help women (in distress) and some women have that tendency towards men (co-dependency). The immigrant poses (acts) as a victim and manipulate the American citizen to help her.

    2. Most men (and women) have a firm belief – it is in their self-concept, belief system or internal map of the world – that when a woman (man) offers “love” is must be true love. Offering love for interest (in this case – immigration) is not a part of their internal dictionary. In the past when a woman (man) loved them, they expressed their love in words and actions, and if they didn’t love them, they either walked away or stayed as friends. Nobody ever pretended to love them!

    3. Because if the above – men (and women) will devote and commit themselves to helping the immigrant and the idea that the immigrant may one day turn on them and falsely accuse them (and thus betray them) or simply leave after getting what they want – the Green-Card – is inconceivable. A “human-being” that expresses so much love and acts as the perfect wife (or husband) would never do that, right?… wrong!

    4. The Radical Misandristic Feminist movement, which are thriving on very, very sick doctrines that are both anti-social and anti-family. According to their doctrines all men are naturally violent and abusive and all women are victims of men. Men “deserve” to be (falsely) accused of violence (and abuse) and women deserve to be helped based merely on their claim of abuse. Thus: Men are always perpetrators (even when the woman is) and women are always victims. Women have the right to falsely accuse men and men don’t have the right to defend themselves and there are no repercussion to false accusations made by a woman.

    5. The Radical Misandristic Feminist movement was successful in passing a very sick law (VAWA) where the definition of abuse essentially makes every expression or action a man takes toward the woman “abuse” or “domestic violence”. At this point it doesn’t matter what the real circumstance are: A woman claims abuse – she is right. A woman goes to a VAWA shelter – she is right and she must be accepted. An immigrant woman wants immigration based on claims of abuse – she is right. The truth does not matter anymore.

    6. The above creates the possibility for any woman to be highly abusive towards men and to use and exploit men (for money, housing, medical care, schools for her children… and immigrations) and when the man realizes he is being used and wants to terminate the “relationship” (which is technically not even a relationship but an abusive interaction) she can simply claim abuse and gain from her false accusations while the man – who has already been abused – must suffer even more from ruined reputation, legal fees, a difficult divorce and in some cases arrests, jail time, criminal record and loss of employment.

    Immigration laws were changed in the past to include a temporary Green-Card and a second interview two years down the line. Unfortunately VAWA creates the immigration loop-hole described above which makes these changes futile.

    I expect immigration laws to be changed again and that immigration marriage fraud will become even more difficult. The time for the second interview may be lengthened beyond the term of two years which would make it a lot less attractive for immigrants to enter into sham marriages.

    In addition, the immigration loop-hole created by VAWA must be closed!

    Left is the ubiquitous destruction of our society that VAWA and the Radical Misandristic Feminist movement impose on all of us. Today an American Citizen cannot marry or enter a relationship with a woman without considering that in the future his live can be destroyed by false accusations of violence, abuse or rape.

    The basis for creating a family is thus being destroyed by the Radical Misandristic Feminist movement and their doctrines.

    As the family is the basis of society – our society is being destroyed!


    In my case for example the judge dismissed her false accusations after a few seconds. The judge didn’t bother with the witnesses (and I had a witness who would have proven that she was lying) because it was so obvious that she was lying.

    Nevertheless, the VAWA shelter knows what to do: They fabricate police reports by calling 911 and saying that the American citizen is following the immigrant woman around (stalking), that he is trying to hurt her and that she is afraid of him.

    To prove that she is afraid of him they move her to another state – far away from where the American citizen lives – from the east coast to the west coast… and they claim that they do that for her protection.

    They get people, friends of the immigrant woman to sign false affidavits describing imaginary violent incidents involving the American citizen, well knowing that no-one will ever be able to prove that those are false.

    All the above is used as supporting evidence for the VAWA self-petition.

    Are you at all aware of the degree of manipulation and corruption happening here? Do you see how appalling it is that a government funded organization (the VAWA shelter) defrauds other government bodies (USCIS, the police, the courts) and an entire support system that now, funded by the tax payer, provides a multitude of support services to the immigrant woman and her children based on the sole fact that she has been to a VAWA shelter???.. and as you know she got there in the first place by falsely accusing the American citizen.

    1. I almost fell into this trap with getting engaged to a Vietnamese citizen. A friend of mine warned me about the very thing you address concerning fake DV claims to expedite immigration. I later found out my supposedly traditional Viet lady had been a kareoki girl (Viet term for hooker). Dodged a bullet there. Your comment is impotant and points out another governmental bias against men and direct incentive to falsely accuse a man of a crime. I am sorry you were betrayed. The VAWA is hate legislation against men.

  19. I was recently arrested for domestic abuse. I was never given much of a chance to tell my side of the incident. Even one of the arresting officers stated it wan’t fair for me to be arrested and made a call to the officer on duty to try and avoid arresting me.

    My spouse had, without my knowledge, several hours previous to my arrest contacted the police. At approximately 12 a.m., I was surprised coming out of my garage by turning around at the response to a voice calling my name to be at gun point. I spent the weekend in jail. I was then 10 days later served with a protective order that was filed the day I got out of jail.

    Now I have no where to live, and almost lost my job. I have to still pay the utilities and rent in the house I can’t even get access to. My spouse even paid the utilities using my bank account that she is not authorized to use. I have never been in trouble in my entire life, and no criminal history or even accusations against me. Now I’m fighting for my future. My spouse contacted my bosses while I was in jail, which temporarily got me suspended from my job and almost fired. I have numerous people willing to testify on my behalf, and part of the incident was heard on speaker phone by other parties who will testify on my behalf.

    Can anyone give me any suggestions or links to literature that I can educate myself on and possibly use to my defense?

    1. Links won’t help other than coming to terms with your situation.
      I would love to see a comprehensive,searchable list by area of good lawyers for men in similar situations and therapists or groups that help people deal with the type of thing you describe. Maybe even investigators that can dig up motives for false accusations to help on the legal side.
      Unfortunately, I know of no such thing. But, I feel for ya. My father recently has had to face false allegations, and I have been threatened with them if I don’t lie and support the false allegations. I cannot say more as parts of it are still in the courts. But once it is done if you have the same laws where you live I’ll gladly share with you everything I learn from this experience.

  20. Paul,

    I’m new, and I left a comment regarding my situation. I commend you for starting this much needed cause. Once I get my immediate issues addressed, and get my life on track again to where I can support myself (which should be within the next few weeks). I’m going to join you in this cause, and help all those that I possibly can to wright the wrong. Just because you’re a man doesn’t make it automatic that your a criminal. I love women, and I think both men and women should be protected equally.

    No one should have the right to just go down to the court house, and file an order without the other party not being present or allowed to defend themselves at that moment. Once a protective order is filed, that defendant is automatically assumed guilty and their whole life is turned upside down.

    1. today4me

      Sorry, it took me a while to get back to you.

      I wish I had better news than Denis, but I think he told you the best thing you could possibly be told, as rough as it is.

      You are welcome here, to come tell your story to others and to vent as you may well need to. But it is precisely because there are so few options for guys in your position that this site is here.


  22. You know what I do for a living , I sell motorcycles, I also have a significant ecommerce and phone sale business of powersports parts and accessories. We sell on the phone, order from manufacturers , ship to customers, you could say a mini Amazon.com . Well we have 3 fulltime employees in the shipping department, one resigned about 3 months ago and we were holding off hiring till we started our busy season. Well its starting and we are contemplating hiring someone.

    So today at around 2 PM walks in cold an attractive/average young women in her 20’s asking if we had any openings, my parts manager said not at the moment, she asked if she could leave her resume, the parts manager said yes and the young women left the store. I watched the entire interaction which was about 60 seconds. The parts manager gives me the resume and she is a pretty good fit for our fulfillment department, associates degree in business, experience in an autoparts store as a parts manager for 2 years, handled customer service for them also.

    Next within the hour I get an email from a young man who has background as a motorcycle mechanic and wants to get a position in our service department. I dont need anyone in service at the moment.

    Now, I think about what I can do in this situation, hire no one, hire the woman or hire the man. I have to tell you the immediate thoughts that come to my mind is that she is the best fit but I think she is a sexual harassment suit waiting to happen and I dont want the grief I expect that I will get from interjecting her into a workplace with 7 men and I intrinsically have a mistrust of her , it bothers me the decision I am about to make because I have two daughters however I offer the position to the man in fulfillment if he wants it as a stepping stone into the service department.

    Now this could just be be chalked up to my personal prejudice, which it is, however I never would have made that decision 10 years ago. It cant all be laid on my shoulders as being an unfair mysoginist, I believe radical feminsim and an ex-wife who falsely accused me of domestic violence has educated me to NOT take on the risk of hiring an unknown female into my small company unfortunately. I feel bad about it really, however I truly believe I am making the best decision for the business as sad as that is.

    How many other small business men are now making the same decisions everyday.

    Feel free to Re-distribute

  23. It isn’t just men that are starting to not want to work with women. I’ve heard many women complain about women co-workers and especially women bosses and supervisors. It seems to me that women bosses are universally hated and despised. If you ask me, don’t hire the woman. Even if she isn’t a problem in the sexual harrassment way that your fear…..she will probably not be as productive as a man……because she has the tit and arse factor that has been proping her up all her life. How the hell can an attractive women be as productive as a man when the system and society……and men……have been willing to cut them breaks all their life because they are attractive. The other thing is that I have seen with my own eyes time and time again…….if a women is not up the scratch……productivity wise……it’s a lot harder to get rid of them…..every time a woman is given her marching orders…….she has the option of claiming it is some sort of discrimination or punishment…….for knocking back the boss or something.

    In any case……I’ll use a feminist justification on this one. This is your business right….not a public business that you are just an employee at….manager or whatever. And this woman…..or any other woman…..makes you feel uncomfortable in your workplace…..that you own……..so don’t hire her. In fact you feeling uncomfortable with a female working in your workplace would be good enough grounds for you to fire her under the feminist principles.

    I’m of the opinion that all sorts of rules telling a business owner who they can hire etc should be scraped. I’ve developed the opinion that employers sould be able to refuse work to anyone they want for any reason they want and shouldn’t have to explain it to anyone……period. That might sound tough…..but from what I’ve seen…..all other options lead to forcing employers to hire ever increasing numbers of people based entirely on their victim status. Being a victim or member of a minority group is not a qualification….but thats how it ends up being.

  24. Here I am again under a different name. Can’t resist. You banned me but…
    I digged around and found your website. Interesting and I wholeheartedly agree with you on most points. I am slowly coming over to your side. You declared me intellectually dishonest but you were wrong.
    I tried to post a reply that you were technically correct about me not answering your question right. But that is irrelevant now. I tried to say that I came across the website page by an accident while looking for something else. But now it captivates me. Especially your referring to Marxism. I come from a formerly Marxist communist country. I was born in the fifties under a totalitarian communist regime and know extremely well what it did to men and women and family. Noone in US knows the details. The communist government passed a law that every citizen had to work, man or woman. For a woman to stay at home raising her children and being provided for by a man, was a parasitism punishable by a criminal law by a jail sentence of 2 years. Overnight, every man was stripped of a right to provide for and run his family life his own way. 6 mos later the government created nurseries and daycare centres for children. From then on, women were hauling their crying infants to government nurseries at 7 am and their crying toddlers and preschoolers to government daycare centres at 7 am. The next step? Four months later, the government passed a law that all children belong to the government, they are a state property and parents are just caregivers approved by the state. Anytime the state thinks it necessary, it can remove the children from the family and put them in the government run care. (They did in cases of gifted children, took them away from family and put them in sports/arts etc. oriented institutions and the children could only see their families once every 6 mos until they became totally alienated from their families – most of our athletes grew up in government care). The government stripped men of their right and ability to protect and provide for their families. It’s coming. It is long in coming because of government not having enough money to spend on nurseries and daycares. But when it comes, with the laws associated with it, then men will have no access to their children. The women will be used as tools to put this into motion.

    When I came here, I went into a culture shock observing women. Every one of them acted so entitled. Such a high self-esteem. I and my countrymen/women, we used to laugh about women here being so eluded and tricked on the subject of diamond engagement rings. Nobody in Europe wears or has an engagement ring. That is totally American!!!! People only have wedding bands. Ha ha! De Beers TV propaganda. We joke: what if all women decide to sell their 1 carats on the same day? Will anyone buy? Diamonds that have no actual value? American women are full of themselves. Huge egos. Huge shopaholics. Filling some empty void within themselves. Instead of spending money on plastic surgeries, cosmetics etc., why don’t you look into poverty in the rest of the world? Poverty quite often caused by US politics. And instead of buying that item to make you look irresistible to men, give something to the impoverished? You can’t buy youth, we all have to die!
    Back to your main subject. Yes, if I were an American man, I would: never marry my compatriot. If in need of marriage and family, I would look elsewhere.
    In closure: yes to your issue. Big yes. But please, only apply it to American females! The rest of us females from other parts of the world, we are quite fine, we work, pay our bills and take care of our kids.
    Good day to you and you can ban me again. Just don’t call me c-for brains. I am a very ordinary down to earth person. I am also someone’s mother.

    1. I just reposted this, along with your other posts, as a feature article. Your ban is conditionally lifted and you may comment as long as you attempt to be intellectually honest.

  25. As I read the latest headline on Yahoo, and again see that this populist grass roots protest is being fomented on Facebook in Libya against yet another dictator. It made me realize how lame we are , (men and parents), in this country, while our human and constitutional rights have been strippped away from us by a radical feminist minority that gained political power and wield it in a family court Star Chamber, we sit idly by and just complain about it, or mount what in essence are insignificant challenges inside their system they control.

    We should take a lesson from the citizens of Egypt, and realize 50% of the population of the United States could have a dramatic effect on legal and social change if we just decided to not accept it anymore enmasse.

    1. Then I challenge you to change one little thing where you live.
      You will find it is more work than it should be but, if everyone works to improve one small thing and at the same time raise awareness of our issues.
      For instance in my city there are zero resources, or even information let alone help for male victims of domestic violence. I challenged myself to change that very recently. I know that I have a Herculean task ahead of me as the cities DV website clearly states, “Sure there are male victims but they don’t count”(that is a paraphrase but not far off). The ONLY two links for men refer the person looking for help to sites on how not to hit a woman……..
      For my part of this challenge I swear I will not stop until either there are equal access and services for men or these evil feminasty shrews lose their funding and have to go get real jobs outside of the victim industry.

  26. I have a few ideas but i lack the organization to make them happen, so i’m hoping that angry harry or anyone else on this site can take what i suggest and make it real.

    The best way to deal with feminists is to first help all men and the womwn of the world that are disgusted by their behaviour first reconize who they are and then turn their backs on them.

    My proposition is simple. Make a list! But it will have to be similar to wikapedia which means there would have to be a site where all of us can add women ourselves. In order to avoid brainless rants it would have to be done in a professional manner. It would include the woman’s first and last name as well as a basic and recognizable picture. The other information that would be required would be the geneal area she resides in and why you believe she should be added to the list. Then right on our blackberrys or whatever else we have that can get on the internet any of us around the world can google the firat and last name of any women and she will either pop up or not, similar to a no fly list.

    An example of how this would work:

    Name: Jane Doe Area: Tacoma Washington

    Pic –

    Reason: I have know this person for a while and when she divorsed my brother she took everything and was very keen on getting every penny from him possible. Through out their relationship she was very controlling and constantly checked his cell phone and e-mail without his knowledge. She had a tendancy to become physically violent with him and constantly cut off sex and be very disrespectful towards his family.

    This may not be the best example but you all get the idea. The best medicine for dealing with feminists is not nessessarily to fight them directly but to point out who they are and help men around the world not to be sucked in by them by giving all men a venue to look up and women by their name and area and avoid wasting their time with them. These women don’t have to be actual feminists they just have to live their lives with many feminist ideals.

    My other idea is a website in which men who are getting hurt by these undesireable types of women to be able to state their case and we can all pitch in for him to get the best layer possible to fight back. A layer sounds expensive but 5 or 10 thousand isn’t a lot if 500 or a 100 people each pitch in 10 dollars.

    So there it is we help our fellow man fight and we set up a sight to recognize and avoid these women. I just hope that someone out there who’s more organized then me hears this and makes it happen.

    1. Smacks too much of that “dontdatehimgirl.com” web trash or whatever it was.
      And, as for lawyers…… try $30,000.00 and haven’t even seen the inside of a courtroom yet.
      Good thoughts though, hell if I knew who was going after that skank Mary Kellett and helping Mr. Filler get his life back on track I’d gladly kick in a few bucks. I may have to settle for a general donation to S.A.V.E.

  27. Pingback: Title: You Are A Scientist and Engineer of Men’s Rights

  28. Paul —

    I just did a search “outsourcing wives.”

    Four hits!

    Seems to be a major industry that nobody wants to talk about.

    Somebody needs to write about the advantages and hazards of this. Particularly about how to do it without getting scammed.

    Would make a great book but it wouldn’t sell through conventional outlets — a series of connected essays on VfM woud be a great start. Possibly to be collected later into a how-to e-book.

    I know VfM is for-profit. Theoretically. This might help cover some expenses.

  29. Greetings and Salutations from Canada Dr. Paul.

    After years of bitter frustration and despair living in our Canadian matriarchy, I stumbled upon this website and in some respects it has become a safehouse for me (perhaps that was a bad metaphor). Also, I wish to congratulate you on your radio talk show. Some familiar voices popped up, such as Factory, and it was as if the scattered pieces of the men’s movement were pieced together on the program bringing what I felt was stronger cohesion and unity.

    As a student of a major University, I am increasingly frustrated with the blatant misandry that runs rampant in my school. Moreover, there seems to be an inherent fear that I carry while making my way through an environment run by a feminist oligarchy and administered by anti-male feminist professors and white knight mangina professors. I feel profoundly out of place here…

    The saddest thing is I see much of the University’s male population following the same path as its faculty : white knight mangina students, eager for female approval, hinder the formation of any potential men’s issues communities; there is not one organization dedicated solely to men’s concerns here.

    I have taken a lot of heat in some of my courses, most notably my ‘human rights’ course, where I argue against ‘women’s rights’ because its only function is to marginalize men’s rights. I will never change my stance and I try as vehemently as possible to uphold my beliefs. Once again, no males in the class dared take a stand against any fallacious counter-argument made by a woman against me (ad-hominem being the most common).

    I’m sick and tired of having feminism shoved down my throat, sick of having women in my classes who entered into the program through affirmitive action, I’m sick of white knights. I am just… sick of it.

    What would you (or anyone on this thread) suggest? How does one cope? How does one attempt to make a change in a world where you are treated like a Jew in a Polish ww2 Ghetto? Is it even worth it to continue a degree?

    I ask these questions not because I am looking for sympathy but because I would value input from non-feminist, educated males who might provide some sort of structure for a man’s university career. I love my discipline, which is History. But I’m tired of reading female-based literature, tired of reading ‘The feminine Mystique’ and I’m tired of reading how ‘men ruined civilization’ because that’s the theme I see repeated over and over and over again. I’d just like some honest input into how I can survive this four year nightmare and if there’s any chance at pushing reforms and making a change.

    Again, kudos to you (and all of your supporters) for bringing A Voice For Men to radio.

    Montreal, QC

  30. March 27th will be my sons 4th birthday. To this day, thanks to the Medina Domestic Relations Court, Judge Mary Kovack and the mother of my son who lied her ass off to get her restraining order, even with the Magistrate who heard it calling her a liar right to her face from the bench, I have not held, looked at, hugged, kissed, or even seen a picture of my own son.

    I pay out the butt for child support, but until the five year restraining order, gotten on perjured testimony and allowed by Judge Mary Kovack, I will NEVER see my own son.

    This judge even violated both federal and state laws along with the CSEA of Ohio in caculating the amount of child support, then due to their stupid law, I could not have it changed for three years!

    As I am disabled, trying to work my way off of disability through my beautiful nature and wildlife photography, I havent got a chance in hell to get any help from any lawyers. Even the ones I have talked to tell me it is going to cost me at least $20 to 30 thousand dollars to get any rights at all and that is a huge IF to boot.

    Yes, this Judge and the ex has again turned my life into a living, utter nightmare of hell. I am literally dead inside. I have no heart or soul left. My life is in utter ruins because of them. I get to live off of $450.00 per month and have been living this way for the last four years. If it was not for the fact that I finally got public housing, then I would still be living out of a backpack and tent.

    So my thought is this, as radical as it is. I want to go to the Medina Domestic Courthouse and sit on its steps with a gallon of gas. When I see Judge Mary Kovack approaching I want to pour the gas on myself and light myself up. Sure it would hit the news as an insane person setting themselves on fire on the courthouse steps, but who knows? My friends all have said if I did do this they would make sure the truth about my story of living hell would come out. Still though, it is something I think I must do to make such a radical statement that people will finally sit up and listen.

    1. You could set yourself on fire and your story would definately be remembered. That is the power of one man who extinguishes his life as a martyr to support his cause.


      There is something equally as powerful and that is strength in numbers. The more people we have and, the more people who have a wealth of experience in regards to misandry (such as yourself) the more powerful we are. Feminists like to shout a lot of rhetoric and indoctrinative, dogmatic, fallacious nonsense. In contrast, MRA’s draw from facts, experience and truth. If we don’t have men such as yourself to learn from, the future generations of MRA’s will lack the crucial teachers we need.

      We need everyone who has suffered misandry to be part of the movement and to have his story heard. We need you to ‘join the choir’. Your son is your inspiration; fight for his future.

      Life may have given you a raw deal, but the future is not set. It’s what you and the rest of us make of it. You’re no good to the cause if you’re dead.

      Best wishes in finding strength,


  31. i would like to join however as your going to tell just by reading this my writing a grammar sucks. i don’t plan on doing any writing but would like to find out how and where to join up in person with others. it seems ever elusive to me that these men’s meetings or groups or what ever you want to call them don’t seem to exist and if the do there hidden some where. i can’t find one so if any one knows of any please point me in the right direction you can contact me at thomasddleejohnston@yahoo.com thanks and have nice day

  32. “i would like to join however as your going to tell just by reading this my writing a grammar sucks. i don’t plan on doing any writing but would like to find out how and where to join up in person with others. it seems ever elusive to me that these men’s meetings or groups or what ever you want to call them don’t seem to exist and if the do there hidden some where.”

    That’s gonna be a tall order.

    Here’s the deal about men’s groups that meet publicly,they basically come in two flavors, those organized directly by female feminists for the purpose of “re-shaping your masculinity” (making you into a woman) or those organized by manginas,male feminist sycophants,for the purpose of “re-shaping your masculinity”.

    Most of the men’s groups that aren’t like this have been sniped off by women’s groups over the years under the guise of “ending discrimination” (while women get to keep whatever “women-only” groups or events they have,of course).

    The long and the short of it is, tread carefully when seeking out men’s groups to talk to in person because 99% of them are a trojan horse organized with the express purpose of multiplying any problems you already have by a factor of 1000. You could start one, but again, you’d be putting yourself at the end of women’s groups’ swords as they consider any advocacy on the part of men to be a direct attack on all women. To feminists, gender issues are a zero sum game and any gain for men is a loss for women.

    A college kid, (can’t remember his name ,but he was a good guy) a while back, started a men’s group for regular guys kind of as a joke. It was called “Men in Power”, and it sent the local women’s groups into an absolute shitfit before they even knew what it was about.

    That’s what we’re dealing with.

    Best of luck to you in finding what you seek.

  33. Is there any room on this site for Misandry in Universities. I know it is a much talked about issue, but as a University student I am on the front lines so to speak.

    Any interest in such a topic?

    Is it possible to write a pilot article and submit it to you Mr. Elam?


  34. Well were do i start. i pity my husband feeling the need to demean himself so low that he has to resort to this kind of stuff.
    I am sure that in this world surely there are some women who are hard done by, abused, the works. I feel i dont need to explain cause you have it all summed up.

    Well i do once again i feel pity is a good discription go and get a life.

      1. Funny, it looks like Natalie “caught” her husband reading here. And now, because she is afraid he might get uppity and not mind her so well, she lashes out.

        I think the G.E.D. is a good idea, Hayden, but we may be too late. I think she already has one, a Gender Education Doctorate.

  35. Women claim and get an equal share of all the things men DIE for. They get an equal or actually a bigger share of the glory as everyone has to make sure they talk about the men AND women who are giving their life for freedom and they tell us women are doing an equal share in our war zones but are they? I think the last I saw, women made up 30% of the military in Iraq BUT they make up less than 1% of those who come home in body bags. IF they were doing and equal share, than would not 30% of those be women? I do not want ANYONE to die but if those that are placed in the greatest danger of doing so should get a bigger piece of the pie.

    As to the draft, I know a man who just got a job at a major drug company and was hired in at the same time a woman was with all the same qualifications. He went to Nam for a while and yes he did get his job back when he returned BUT the woman was now his boss as she has been promoted several times and he was still on his entry level job. Tell me the draft does not discriminate against men. Even now, when there is no draft, MEN and ONLY men have to sign up for it or they become instant felons and will lose many of the rights women not only take for granted, but have given to them on a silver platter….one donated by the blood of men. Even with this, look at the number of scholarships that women only can get and the number that only men can get. Those for men only are disappearing rapidly but those for women only are growing. Of course given the recent Bidden/Obama war on men in college with the sexual assault, what man in his right mind would want to step foot on any campus unless it was male only and there are no such places that I know of now although there still are tax supported female only colleges

    It does look like they are trying very hard to make it illegal to be a male.

  36. Hey, just watched this newly released video, “Run the world (girls)”, by Beyonce which is one of the most viewed on youtube today.


    Was quite surprised at the blatant sexism. I found the lines “My persuasion can build a nation” and “You’ll do anything for me” a little poorly thought out, as they seemed to speak of women only being able to gain their control by manipulating men through sex…which was probably not what Beyonce’s intention.

    Anyway, maybe this video will be of interest to someone.

  37. Men will not begin to achieve much of anything either personally, or for their gender, until they focus on themselves and identify what they need to do to gain the strength and wisdom it takes to move forward. You can say what you want about the feminists but it’s just one more distraction that men use to take the spotlight off of ourselves so we never have to feel the pain that’s involved in taking a hard look at the choices we’ve made in creating our circumstances. Until men begin talking to themselves and each other – using “I” sentences and begin to do the hard, courageous emotional work to change and evolve the only person we have any control over – then nothing – absolutely nothing is going to change for the better and we will remain victims. Victims of whom? Victims of our selves and our inability to get out of our own shit in order to see the light. That’s what the original Feminists did back in the late 60’s and 70’s and they made a positive difference for members their gender who were yet to be even born.
    So the question becomes when will men stop whining and focus on doing the work all people – men and women alike, need to do to improve their lives? Not just to win the respect and admiration of our onlookers but to achieve our own respect and admiration for ourselves.

  38. After my total disability in line of duty, my wife had always demanded me to move to New York and transfer the HUD voucher there to be near her 2 brothers who live in Montreal Canada. Her next demanded was to take my 2kids to Iran for summer vacation I am 62 years old with heart disease, lung disease, sleep apnea, Tardive Dyskinesia, 2 ruptured disc in lower back and my left leg has numbness, tingling and pain radiating from my lower back all the way to my L-toes, bi-carpal tunnel syndrome, left cubital tunnel syndrome, asthma, depression, anxiety attack, bleeding ulcers, hemorrhoids, and almost near dead. She has been abusing me physically, verbally, mentally and financially for 15 years while I was making good money as General Manager we had no problems at all. Just one year after, I became disabled in line of duty she slashed my face &neck neighbors called police she was arrested and taken to jail I had to pay to bail her out and attorney fees. Few years later she attacked me with a toolbox hit my L-shoulder that permanently disabled my L-shoulder even after total rotator cuff muscle surgery from more than 80% tear I still can not lay on my L-shoulder for one minute and have been suffering from pain and discomfort since then have not been able to use my left shoulder, arm and hand to do daily activities. She also fractured my left pinky in several places while she was mad and threw a20lb weight to my hand and has been threatened me to poison me, turned my CPAP off at midnights to suffocate me I ordered a new CPAP machine, but it was her turning it off nothing was wrong with CPAP machine. After I was not able to meet her demands she threatened to make my life a living hell. She has been calling police several times for non sense to establish a fake domestic violence case for me. Finally I survived a fatal car accident in 4/4/11when someone hit my car hard flipped it over and totaled it and I was unconscious for long time with severe pain referred to orthopedic department and I am still under physicians care. I am still suffering from that injury with severe pain. A few days after my accident she punched me in my achy head for blocking her friend (interfering in our life asked her to get divorce, take the kids to Iran) number called police that I blocked her friend phone police told her that was personal then she falsely claimed I also pulled her hair police didn’t believe her claim (I was suffering from pain on my bed that time with neck brace, L-arm brace and back brace I was hardly could move from bed) she begged police to take her to shelter because she did not to live here any longer, but police told her you have 5 hours to make up and become friendly with you husband and if it didn’t work call after 4 pm when 2kids come home from school police would take you to a shelter, one police asked me if she hit me I told him physically mentally, financially and for sake of my kids I never wanted her to go back to jail again last time cost me too much to get her out with her criminal record I thought they would keep her in jail for long time (I never intended to harm our relationship or for our kids sake remained patient all the time during her abusing and injuring me)put her in jail even if there were hundred opportunities for me to do that. After my kids returned from school she took the only car we had in our household and followed police to a shelter. I haven’t seen my dear kids for 1/5 months their school called many times regarding their tardiness and send me letters that my kids have bee unexcused absent for days, library books were over due I had to pat to clear them up and I received a letter from HUD section 8 that my voucher was terminated after 14 years was given to me due to my total disability& transferred to my wife due to DV and her being in shelter. I had to borrow some money and hired an attorney to appeal their decision before the HUD hearing they never provided any documents to my attorney no witnesses to be cross exam basically a police report and few fake pictures part of an arm with a browse from several years ago and a picture of foot (supposedly of my wife) she wasn’t present to be crossed exam. Then I received a call from police department that my wife pressed charge against me for that day she left with my kids. I am 62 years old have been living with honor, my son from ex-wife is a TRUE AMERICAN HERO for serving almost 3 years in Iraq war (unfortunately he was disfranchised from our family simply because her mother was African America and she always told my kids they did not need nagger, S O B brother even if my son and I had a good father and son relationship prior to new marriage but she never let him visit me and his sister& brother whom he loved so much or even call them), paid taxes and voted in each election with 2 Masters and partial PhD education who never bothered any one in my life and have been always a good citizen of this great country helping victims all my life long supporter/member of Amnesty International, ACLU, with lots of illnesses and 100% disability and $650 SSI& SSA which I spent my last dime for kids and her and paid bills never purchased even a pair of sucks for myself in past 14 years. I married her unfortunately while visiting Iran in 1992 without back ground check from her and her family. She has been a huge consumer of taxpayer money for 15 years, never worked a minute or earned a penny since I married her and brought her to America from Iran. She has been in charge of my EBT card for buying food of her own desire and she abused $215 TANF kid’s money for herself and her family in Iran & Canada as well as purchasing long distance phone cards to call those 2 countries for many hours per week. DHR had tried to send her to school and find her a job but she refused to follow up by giving fake excuses such as headache and depression abusing taxpayers’ money, Medicaid and myself to co-pay for her doctors and medications to reach her ambitious& goals of getting SSI and other Government benefits. After some research I found out in Iran women usually use faked domestic violence by self inflecting wounds to gain upper hands in divorce, child custody and other cases against their husband. Please advise me what to do next? Thanks for your time and God bless America and God bless you.

  39. Hi Mr. Elam!
    My wife bit some of my computers in different occasions with hammer in front and back just like this one which I kept it and all of my grad school projects’ software (my 2 masters and 2 years of PhD programs were in Instructional technology means computers, software, projects, web mastering and so on). Severity of my illnesses and disability stopped me to earn my doctoral degree. These were all my life long assets also dumped in dumpster by her for no reason.

  40. I see a lot of talk on this site and a lot of complaining. I see a lot of effort put into the separation of family unions and the promotion of family division. I see the fueling of the fire of hate. What I don’t see is help. I don’t see anyone offering practical and helpful resources for the man that is in trouble or headed that way.
    Does anyone have any idea where to find real brick and mortar flesh and blood resources that can help us? I don’t even see a discussion area such a bulletin board. I don’t see any phone numbers, I don’t see any organizations referred to, I don’t see a list of attorneys that would be sympathetic to the male issues.
    I really don’t see shit here but the spreading of hate and a bunch of babies that feel sorry for themselves and nothing that would be really useful. You don’t even have a tab on your pages menu for help of any kind.
    Some of what you say makes good sense, but much of it is nothing more than the poisoning and the dilution of what one would hope to be helpful.
    I am tired of the bad feelings, of depression, hate, anger…heck with that… I need to move one and in order to that I need constructive advice that is not tinged with the poison of bitterness and hate.

    1. Men speaking out, saying things that others don’t want to hear, ISN’T hate. And one other thing. Go fuck yourself. You ask about brick and mortar services that can “help us.”

      Well, guess what, asshole, there aren’t any, unless you consider prisons as help.

      Does that sink in, Mr. Ewwww I don’t want to be angry? Does it?

      If all you see is a bunch of babies crying, then let me also offer you congratulations. Kudos to you on the suicide by fire of Thomas James Ball. After ten years of trying to work with a system to correct the injustices in his life, and being regarded as a crying baby for doing so, BY PEOPLE LIKE YOU, the took himself out.

      Thanks a lot.

      Are you reading this? Are you still here? You shouldn’t be. I already told you to go fuck yourself.

      1. Pity. The minute Mr. solobozo needed help, all he needed to do was post his dilemma here or e-mail you. Why wasn’t that clear to him?

    2. Manuel Dexter

      @solobozo – You don’t see help? maybe you should look at the URL of this website. A. Voice. For. Men. This is one of the only places on men have any voice at all. A few other places exist, The Spearhead, False Rape Society, and Shrink4men being other examples. In the brick and mortar world – there is virtually no help for men. So you don’t like the complaining and the anger? Do something about the source – or, maybe thats too much work for you – so its easier to sit in your comfortable chair and tell men being brutalized by the prevalent political ideology in society, by the courts, by the government, the education system to sit quietly – don’t complain because people might be upset by it.

      Your attitude’s prevalence in society is why a man named Thomas Ball burned himself to death. When every legal and social channel for redress of grievance is closed, blocked, silent and dysfunctional for men in pain, what do you suggest they do.

      Ill ask you that again – For men in pain, brutalized by the courts, and silenced, shunned and ignored – what do you suggest they do?

      Tom Ball burned himself to death – and ill admit, this was a novel solution I had not thought of. I am a man who has shed the social programming of male self sacrifice – and In all my writing, I suggest other men also shed their social programming to self-sacrifice. That means – that the rage at prolonged brutalization is not turned inwards, onto oneself. So, again – what do you suggest men suffering do besides complain? What should men do besides speaking up, and talking, loudly and repetitively.


      I look forward to your substantive answer.

  41. @solobozo The reason you can’t find help is that because there is no funding for helping men like us. No vagina’s see!

    I ran a 24 hr help line for two years on my own. Night after night having three hour calls with deperate men begging for help. I could only give them advice. There was no help. After years of trying I finally got a housing association to dedicate a few houses as refuges for abused men. A total of just 6 beds. No funding from any source was given and I tried hard to get it. The best I ever got was an offer of some free flyers to promote the help line and even they did not materialise.

    So, the best I can offer you if this: Turn your own anger into something positive. Move your arse and get invloved. DO SOMETHING. ANYTHING. To join the fight and maybe, just maybe you can help us to make things better for the next generation of men and boys.

    Use your experiences! Write about them. Talk about them. Blog about them. Send them to the press. TV and radio media. Stop being a victim and fight back because in the end, it is only by fighting back that we can win.

    Once you get your head around this reality you can use it everyday to inspire yourself: WE CANNOT LOSE!

    So, stop complaining about the lack of help and start fighting so we can all provide it in the future.

    Got it?

    I hope so!

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