One of the comments for an article that I originally submitted to “Strike The Root,” concerning Roman Polanski’s rape of a thirteen-year-old, perhaps needs a little light shed upon it, in spite of the bigoted, anti-Semitic, and thoroughly incorrect nature of it. I can’t clarify the commenter’s position all that much, but I do need to clarify what I think about an issue that the commenter raises. In essence, the point that the commenter is trying to bring home is that “Roman Polanski is a pedophile and had sex with children.”
The commenter rightly points out that sex with children is equal to death. With this I agree, and factually so. Rape of an adult, being a coercive act, is also an act that leads directly and immediately to death, on multiple levels, as I pointed out in my article “Coercion Is Death.” It’s this troublesome business of sex with children, and the commenter’s insinuation that I am somehow responsible, given my views, for the encouragement of this death-oriented activity, with which I feel I must take issue.
But first, let’s talk about the movie “Nine,” starring the talented Daniel Day-Lewis. This was one of those rare films in my Netflix queue that got taken out of the DVD player before it finished. First there’s the fact that it appeared to be a musical that was more concerned with people belting out tunes than it was with creating any kind of inviting or enjoyable atmosphere, and I found myself not caring in the least that this spoiled, oversexed, stereotypical Italian male film director was lacking any inspiration for a movie yet to be made. The makers of this musical never bothered to stir the pathos in me.
Beyond that, there is an abhorrent scene in the middle of the film (at about the point where I pushed the eject button) where a group of eight- and nine-year-old girls pay a grown man to whip out his penis. That feminists en masse are not up-in-arms about this scene is condemnable. The idea that any adult should take money from children, even with no touching involved, to reveal sexuality to them is abominable, as I shall explain.
Except that I need to make one correction first: It wasn’t a bunch of giggling girls and a grown man; it was a bunch of mystified little boys – little boys – and a grown woman. The women who belt out everything they sing (as if that’s the very essence of singing), are practically yelling, “Be Italian!” Get it? Italian prepubescent boys are just as horned up as Italian men. They can’t help it. It’s in-a the blood!
I guess a few things need to be explained to the lyricist, the composer, the playwright, the screenwriter, Daniel Day-Lewis, Judy Dench, and a host of other nincompoops: Children don’t understand sex.
Mind you, if a five-year-old who is in my charge wants to know where babies come from, he or she is going to find out. Not by putting in a porno, but by simple explanation of the facts of life. Children are curious, and should have that curiosity satisfied by responsible adult caretakers.
It has been a practice across cultures for centuries to find healthy ways for boys to bond with men, and to satisfy a natural curiosity that most boys possess about the adult male body. Sadly, there have been parallel practices to induct children in the ways of adult sexuality, and these death-oriented practices, inhabiting a gray area, have found their way into the lives of many boys, to their detriment. It is this area where groups like NAMbLA thrive.
I admit freely to questioning the appropriate boundaries in the past (only in my mind, I assure you), as I have talked with other gay men who became sexually active at much younger ages than I did. (I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 29.) Many of these men don’t seem to have a problem with what happened, which interested me. I am not one of those guys who turned gay because some irresponsible adult introduced me before I was ready. I have read “testimonials” from men who were the younger participants in sex acts, confirming their volitional desires to engage in sex with adults. Prior to understanding how coercion is death, I must say that I found such arguments compelling, but was not convinced.
I am now convinced that the opposite holds true, and that the alternative argument can be backed up with facts. Having sex with children – babies, toddlers, and prepubescents – is never anything but coercive, and therefore death-oriented. Lovers of “Nine” beware.
Coercion can be used against more than the volition of other individuals; it may also be used against the truth. Truth does not live like we do, but it does indeed exist. Its very nature is immovable and unchangeable. Our continued discovery of the intricacies of natural law make it apparent, but they do not make it so. Children, I believe, should know the truth about everything from math and science, to the truth about Santa Claus and where babies come from. I also believe that children should be in charge of the progress and criteria for their own education, which is why I believe in unschooling, free-schooling, and homeschooling.
The truth of human sexuality, as far as procreation, can be grasped by little minds, but the full force of this natural phenomenon cannot be explained in words; it must be experienced, if only vicariously, when full sexual arousal is possible. This phenomenon, according to natural law, cannot be experienced by children. True, children can experience orgasm, as well as other sexually stimulating feelings, to an extent, but there are a great many crucial parts of sexuality that are completely absent in a child’s mind. Not to go on at great length about it, but the simple facts that boys cannot ejaculate semen during masturbation, and that girls cannot menstruate, should be wisdom enough that this is so.
If it’s at all possible, try to remember your own curiosity about men when you were a boy. For many heterosexually-oriented prepubescents, a few experiences, skinny dipping with dad, for instance, are enough to satisfy this natural curiosity. That was never the case with me, but stay with me. Go back to this innocent experience you had and try to mentally interject an adult male (or female) introducing seduction into the experience. How do you feel about it now?
Whether or not a child is volitional in sexual experimentation with adults is irrelevant. Children don’t get it, because sexuality, in order to be understood, has to be experienced. I don’t mean that you have to lose your virginity, but you do have to experience the arousal. This is why responsible Catholic priests can counsel married couples. Sure, maybe the guy’s a virgin since he’s been a priest since he was 19, but by that time, he has had erections, wet dreams, and if he’s like most men, he’s experienced the pleasure of his own penis in his hand. If he’s a heterosexual priest, he has also felt the attendant desires to caress and mount women. If he is sufficiently mature and has done his research, he’s ready to counsel without ever having committed the marital act. An altar boy is not.
This truth is hidden from children by nature, not by society’s dictates, not by the state, not by some set of arbitrary religious rules. Children don’t get it. What Mom and Dad do to make babies is weird. Girls are gross. Boys are stupid. This mentality doesn’t truly understand what is happening when an adult begins touching in a sexual manner, even if it’s what the child wants.
Therefore, to coerce against the truth is to reduce the volitional capacity of the child. To coerce a child’s volition by withholding vital information is death. Abused children, whether willing or not, are permanently damaged.
Even after puberty has commenced, and the area is far grayer (since cultures the world over have been known to marry off 12- and 13-year-olds), it is also unwise for adults who have passed through puberty to disturb the sometimes agonizing process of growing body hair, bleeding from the vagina, descending testicles, wet dreams, budding breasts, and so on. In those critical seven or eight years, a great many changes are happening, and to interfere from a more mature perspective is likewise coercion against the greater truths that will only be obtained when the young adult has made it all the way through. That is how I perceive it at this time; however, I am fully aware that grown men, in the past, have thought nothing of taking teenage brides as child-bearers. How messed up were those women? I can’t say for sure, but a great many of them managed to raise children all the same, and stay with their marriage partners for life.
Therefore, it is now undoubtedly clear to me that organizations like NAMbLA are coercive, and therefore death-oriented, in a particularly pernicious way. Since the finer points of individuality lay hidden to the majority of adults wandering around on land masses all over this planet, the efforts of such organizations can be sadly be expected to make headway. This is not a good development.
Notice that I’ve hardly brought up Polanski’s rape. That is because not only have I thoroughly covered my thoughts and feelings on the matter elsewhere, but it doesn’t matter to me whether the victim should be considered a child or a young woman. Rape is rape. All sex with children should be considered rape. I also believe that nature has infused humanity with a general disinterest in children as sex partners, an infusion that goes ignored along with individuality, when adults who themselves have been so abused disregard the truth. These things are plain to me.
So the commenter’s accusations sting not because they are true, but because he reveals his inability to see me as I am, as an admirer and defender of children. It reminds me that I will never have any, and my brief opportunities to spend time with them are not enough.
I have endured other people going on about how grown men who want to spend time with little children are weird, like there’s something wrong with us. I had to defend myself, and gay men in general, over at “Strike The Root” when I made a passing comment about a funny article at “The Onion” about gays in the military. My opponent in the ensuing argument is of the opinion that I should not be in intimate contact with prepubescent boys, since some gays are molesters. In spite of the fact that the majority of child molesters are heterosexuals, and in spite of most comments at “Strike The Root” being directed at ideas of individuality, I am to be lumped in with coercive, death-oriented adults by virtue of my liking men’s cocks. (And people think it’s all downhill for us faggots because “Will & Grace” was a hit.)
The idea that I would ever want to coerce any child, or would ever be accused of such an act, offends me as a member of the gay community, and as a man. Make no mistake about it, condemning Polanski after he served his time and made financial restitution to the victim, most especially when she herself wants the condemnation to stop, is part and parcel with misandry. See here a far superior writer talking about much the same thing. When scare tactics are used by the state, it is not the image of violent women running into the streets brandishing weapons that is used; it is the violent image of violent men. Us guys are all just a few steps away from it, at all times. And the children will suffer.
This is nonsense. It is false. It makes me sick. It is tiresome. It is cruel and hurtful. It separates children from manhood, to the detriment of both boys and girls. Men who join in the chorus are doing the rest of us no favors.
The thought occurred to me earlier today as I was driving home from my boring corporate job: Why are marriages failing? There are probably many reasons, but up until now, no one has bothered to touch upon one reason that I think is worth considering. Government schools, television, corporate superstores, so very much of modern life is meant for the purposes of homogenization. The ruling elite can thrive on a continent filled by people who buy the Democrat-Republican-division ruse, who all watch the same inane programs, who tune into the same radio stations, who go to schools that teach the same things, who all have tax “withheld” from their paychecks.
Beyond the fact that modern technology has made obsolete the dire necessity of making a family for survival purposes, the modern corporate state also attempts to make the same that which can never be equal. Individuals are bound to have separate strengths, and consequently separate interests. Remove children from the surrounding community all day, set them in front of the homogenous television all night, ensure that the same packaged foods are available in Alaska as well as Florida, and you have people who experience many of the same things.
So why wouldn’t marriage between two same-thinking people work? One reason is because these two people have spent their most critical years separate from grown men, grown women, old people, toddlers, immigrants, babies, prepubescents, teenagers, shop owners, mechanics, farmers, truck drivers, entrepreneurs, construction workers, nurses, doctors, homemakers, and various other individuals pursuing their individual interests in the communities in which they “live.” This experience ought to be quite natural, and should aid children in learning to relate to many different kinds of people.
Unfortunately, people are stifled from what ought to be natural relationships. They are kept from everybody else. Children now go on play dates. Men are suspect if they’re sitting in playgrounds. All of this, thanks to the hysteria over NAMbLA and what some man somewhere might do. People who don’t know how to get along with lots of different people are bound to have marital problems. It’s easier to despise those with whom you are unfamiliar.
If people truly understood their very natures, so much of what separates us, as well as what truly threatens children, would simply go by the wayside. Instead, Polanski is an eternal villain in spite of the pleadings of the very person he hurt, and men everywhere are suspect as rapists and child molesters, especially us homos. Sadly, my prediction is that this backward, reactionary way of thinking is far from over. Those who will pay the price are children, kept from vital relationships that would teach them about getting along in marriage, and the most unfortunate few that come into contact with adults who never bothered to face their own childhoods of abuse. It is a pity that there are some who choose instead to read into my words that which is not there, rather than listen to hurt children, whether they’ve grown up or have yet to do so. It will take a world of men willing to stand up to the cacophony to set things right.
B.R. Merrick writes for “Strike The Root” and “A Voice for Men,” lives in the Northeast, is proud to be a classical music reviewer at Amazon.com and iTunes, and in spite of the poisonous nature of television, God Himself will have to pry his DVDs of “Monty Python’s Flying Circus” out of his cold, dead hands, under threat of eternal damnation.
