Someone Please Give John Nazarian a Plaid Jacket, a Straw Hat and a Cigar

As many who follow this website know, John Nazarian is a California private investigator who has been tied to the Pauley Perrette restraining order scam that has been covered by several of our writers and investigators. Interestingly enough he can also be found in the new documentary on the corrupt family law system, Divorce Corp, essentially telling people that the system is so corrupt that bottom feeders like him can make a good living at gathering, and apparently creating, dirt on behalf of their clients.

Nazarian, whose facial hair appears designed to mimic the top of Mr. T’s head, came up on our radar again when we discovered one of his YouTube videos in which he advises women on how to manufacture false domestic violence charges in order to get their husbands ejected from the home and tossed into jail so the woman can then more easily use the court to steal his property, income and sever him from his children. Pity the fool who don’t listen.

Well, it appears that the scumbag-to-the-stars investigator, who has been named in complaints filed with the state of California, has not taken too kindly to the attention.

He has restricted commenting on his fraud police report instruction video, as well as put a disclaimer on it saying that it is “for entertainment purposes only.”

Oh yes, Mr. Nazarian, you are entertaining and then some.

He seeks to entertain further. Nazarian penned his thoughts, (such as they are) about this matter, just to show us all that he knows how to handle Coyote Shivers and a “male group.” It is complete with what appears to be obsessive use of a caps lock (because we all know that extra big writing is extra powerful writing) and redundant disparaging references to Texas — excuse me — TEXAS. Apparently critique of his ethics, which he imagines emanates only from the Lone Star State, is less valid for geographic reasons.

Hoo-wee, y’all, I don’t rightly know what to say about that.

He has also apparently enlisted the help of one of his big time media connections at, a website following celebrity trials that gets literally dozens of visits annually. Someone there named, hold on to your seats, Rose, wrote an article saying essentially the same things that Nazarian did in his piece. She even shares John’s attraction to the use of the caps lock, and his distaste for all things Texas. Ah, the California upper-crust, such savoir faire!

Rose also echoed, as though a pull cord were embedded in the back of her neck, Nazarian’s contention that his fraud police report instruction video was just a bit of entertainment. After all, this is Hollywood, right?

Now, seriously, let me just see if my little old Texas brain can grasp the message from these two comically condescending not-even-B-listers.

John Nazarian, a licensed private investigator, who as a matter of public declaration makes his living off of smearing people for clients in a court system that he knows to be completely corrupt, makes a video instructing women on how to create the illusion of domestic violence, report it to police and gain the upper hand in a divorce.

But it is for entertainment purposes only.

Of course it is, and he told us so shortly after he was publicly called out on it and reports were filed with the California licensing agency.

This son of a bitch thinks Texans are dumb?

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