Chivalry to save us from “The Reality”

Nikki Gemmell wrote an article in The Australian which purported to put Gillard’s tenure in office in context (Gemmell, 2013). Apparently, we Australians should be ashamed. Ashamed of what she ominously calls “The Reality.”

Gemmell’s talent as a fiction writer is is brought to the fore with what is termed stream-of-consciousness. For those who are unfamiliar, it goes something like this:

A thought. Another one. A relation? Between them? Maybe! But then, of course…Hang on! Another thought. God, I get so many. And logic? You decide what it is. For you. Not for me. I have my own, and I’m fine with that.

In theory, this kind of writing allows the author to let you into their inner dialogue.  It is an attempt to give the reader the raw person. We get the thoughts before grammar, manners, logic and other filters make the primeval, instinctual emotions more presentable.

In other words, there is no need to write like a mature adult. What it does, in Gemmell’s case, is allow her to make the most childish demands for privilege seem like a sophisticated argument for the betterment of society.

Essentially, Gemmell breaks the Australian population into two distinct groups: The misogynists who marred Gillard’s time in office and those who allowed the misogynists to go unopposed.

Clearly there is an implied third group: Those who speak out against misogyny. This includes Gemmell. They are morally superior enough to speak out, but humble enough to let others point out just how brave they are.

She is ashamed. She spoke out. We didn’t. We should be ashamed. Ashamed that we were not ashamed. Be shamed into shame. Admit our shame. Hold our shame to the world. Be proud of our shame.

And with shame comes sorrow. But then understanding. And healing.

And superiority. After all, whose shame came first?

This shame is because Abbott stood beside a sign saying “Ditch the Witch”; Alan Jones, a radio presenter, questioned Gillard’s sanity; sexist comments from soccer coach Hosiek; A sex scandal in the Army, with the absolute certainty that there is a possibility that some soldiers may get charged with something. It all adds up to a nation that should be ashamed.

Less than 20 people, all judged as wanting by Gemmell, in a country of 23 million and we all should be ashamed.

Please, don’t anyone tell her about the criminal courts. There, everyday, men and women plead guilty to murder, manslaughter, rape, assault, battery, sex trafficking, armed robbery and all kinds of terrible crimes.

And I’ll bet every one of the victims of these crimes, if given the choice, would have preferred to have been called a few names instead. If we were to truly feel some level of guilt for other people’s bad behaviour we would be positively dripping with shame.

But, of course, these are not important people. They’re just plebs. They probably live in the outer suburbs. Grubby lot. No, we’re talking about famous people. Those people who get on the TV and radio:

The People Who Matter.

Gillard’s time in office was supposed to be a “golden era for Australian women.” Why? Says who? Says Gemmell. But what Gemmell really wanted was a golden era for Gillard personally.

We should have been celebrating that the prime minister was female. Nothing else was important. We should have made sure, regardless of how badly she was doing the job, that it was a positive experience for Gillard.

Applause for the great leader. What did she do? Don’t ask. Just clap.

That way, apparently, we would attract more female prime ministers.

Throw in some fish and I know a few seals that would do the job.

But no, Gillard was treated badly. Worse than the men have ever been treated, according to Gemmell.

Really? Worse than Abbott, her rival for the top job? Forget that Abbott’s nickname, frequently used by various commentators, is the “Mad Monk”? A reference not only to his sanity but his religion. Forget the questions of him having “the balls” to wear those swimming trunks and other comments on his physique? Forget Gillard’s accusations of misogyny? Forget that it went viral to the glee of feminists worldwide? Forget that the man has a wife and three daughters and the leader of the country says he hates them?

And if you can’t forget, pretend.

Gemmell’s answer to “The Reality”, if you can wade through the disgrace and humiliation, returns to that old saw of Good Men.  Yes, after numerous references to progressiveness, modernity and maturity, it’s time to polish up your armour and get back on your charger. Chivalry is “needed more than ever now”.

Ah, those good old days. Today, if a woman drops her handkerchief on the ground it might just lay there. What if she faints? Which Good Man will throw himself onto the ground to cushion her fall?

What if she comes to a puddle? Will no Good Man throw down his coat? If he has no coat, can’t he just put his head in the puddle for her to stand on? The lady’s shoes must not get muddied!

Presumably, when the golden era of Gillard commenced, the Good Men should have taken off their cloth caps, threw them in the air and shouted “Hooray”. And then, in celebration, they could ask for another hour’s hard labour. And happily pay more taxes.

If only Good Men would stand up to the misogynists.

But a return to chivalry? What does that actually mean?

Should the Good Men challenge Alan Jones to a joust? Put a twelve-foot long, metal tipped lance through his eye? Smash open his armour with a mace and then stick their swords through his belly before beheading him?

No more unpleasant remarks from you, my lad.

Or a duel with Tony Abbott? Slice him with a rapier? Stab his black heart?

Try standing beside a sign now, Mad Monk!

Or would pistols be more noble? More dignified? Let Hosiek bleed to death after being shot in the gut?

These, of course, are not questions one should ask of a lady. The Good Men can simply attend to the details such that the lady is pleased.

The Reality?

Gemmell wouldn’t know it if it fell on her.

 

Notes:

Gemmell, N., 2013. A   Nation’s Shame. [Online]
Available at: http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/features/a-nations-shame/story-e6frg8h6-1226671442132
[Accessed 5 July 2013].

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