To my friends who are nice feminists

Yes I have friends who are feminists. How could I not? I’m an ex-feminist after all–although I’m sure some feminists will want to check me for having always harbored evil ideas that made me “not a true feminist” or somehow otherwise secretly impure. Isn’t it amazing how people keep using the phrase “true feminist” in order to just dismiss all feminist misdeeds, all feminist lies?

“Well, they weren’t real feminists.” Fuck you. Yes they were.

I’m sorry you don’t like it if I tell you feminism is and always has been a hate movement, but, feminism is and always has been a hate movement. A racist, sexist, vitriolic, irrational hate movement that is fascist and bullying to its very core.

In the 1970s friends of mine were facing bomb and death threats, censorship, and harassment. It has not changed in the 40 years since then–please stop lying and saying it’s different now, because it isn’t.

Feminism as a movement has taken billions of dollars and still runs on billions of dollars; this is why constant comparisons to the cash-poor, grassroots MHRM is stupid. (Well, it’s one of several reasons why that’s a dumb comparison, anyway.)

Feminism lies about domestic violence. It lies about rape. It lies about families. It lies about fathers. It lies about little boys. It lies about girls. It lies about women. It lies about history.

Feminism bullies. It bullies women who won’t toe the line. It bullies men who won’t toe the line. It bullies children who question its precepts.

Every time a feminist repeats racist hateful lies about “patriarchy” or “rape culture” and you don’t identify both those ideas as toxic pseudoscience based on hateful, bigoted preconceptions, you enable that toxic, bullying, pseudo-scientific hate movement.

So. Given that I really believe every one of these things, let me tell you something:

I’m 49 and I’ve been reading about feminism probably longer than you’ve been alive. First wave, second wave, third wave, sex positive, anarcho-feminist, individualist feminist, equity feminist, marxist feminist–stop being a condescending bully and pretending I just don’t understand these things and consider the possibility that it is me who has things to teach you not the other way around.

If you’re a feminist, it is 99% likely you believe some of the hateful lies. I’ve only met a handful of feminists who really do reject the lies, and I frequently ask them: in recognizing hateful bigoted feminist lies, why do you still call yourself one? You’re enabling a multibillion$$ hate movement by doing so.

But my friends, the real friends, they have their reasons, and while I don’t understand them–it looks like nothing more than an emotional tie to a word, like not wanting to give up calling yourself a Baptist or something–I accept that they wish to continue identifying as part of a bullying, censoring, racist, fascist hate movement and irrational pseudoreligious cult. But they accept that this is what I think about their movement.

And no, I will not sugarcoat my opinions to make them happy. They either accept that these are my conclusions or they don’t. The smart ones know better than to argue, and know how to accept disagreement like mature adults.

So. If you are a feminist who can accept these are my conclusions based on decades of experience and research, then I will accept that you are part of this thing that I consider an ugly malignant hate movement and still talk to you. In other words, I will accept you if you accept me.

But I will not accept it if you repeat feminist lies in front of me. I will respond every single time. If you don’t want my response, don’t spout feminist hate-garbage when I’m around.

Every feminist who makes snotty remarks about my supposed ignorance or my supposed need to educate myself about feminism mostly makes me chuckle. Ditto the frequent feminist attacks on my personal life, attempts to sex-shame me, snarks about my children, about my wife or my ex-wife (who both support what I do), about my supposed agenda (you know, my actual equal rights agenda) just cements my view that feminism is a toxic hate movement that hurts pretty much everybody it touches. Even the ones who benefit from it are slowly poisoned by it.

And every time you open your mouth and start saying that I “just don’t understand feminism” or “not all feminists are like that” I respect you just a little bit less as a person, and view you as just a little bit more shameful, a little more shallow, a little more selfish and thoughtless.

And that’s all. I’m not a feminist. I never will be one again, and I actively oppose it. Accept it and stay to talk with me of other things, or go away. It works for me either way.

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