Attention all Patriarchs! This is a Red Alert! Token Division Agent 14-9-775-18, code name Alzael, has gone rogue. Repeat, Alzael has gone rogue, apparently attempting a coup by promoting himself without authorization to Overlord status, and openly revealing seemingly unobjectionable instructions to inferior females, but is blatantly revealing specific document numbers and the existence of secret departments such as B.I.M.B.O. As is well known, the first rule of B.I.M.B.O. is that you never talk about B.I.M.B.O. and you certainly do not reveal the contents of top secret training materials by their identification code or even that such training materials exist.
Below is the proof of his treason to the Penis World Order:
Do not be fooled by his seemingly disarming demeanor. He is clearly engaging in Unauthorized Patriarchal Activities, revealing classified documents, and threatening the stability of all that Men of Good Faith hold dear. He is also obviously armed with a butterknife, likely Model #ZQ13, code-named “NutellaNuke.”
Do not approach under any circumstances. Agent Orange has been dispatched to terminate this threat. However, all Patriarchs are authorized to observe the rogue menace from a safe distance.
It should not have to be said, but no females are authorized to view this material.
