The following Blog entry was posted on AVFM forums by one of its members, Maxx. It is edited and republished here with his permission. ED
Online dating is a very passive and limited means of attracting and interacting with women. A man has no positive means of proactively influencing his success. It’s like putting some bait on a fish hook and waiting. You might be waiting a while.
Whatever bait you put on it’s going to attract some forms of fish and repulse others.
For example, put pictures of yourself in a suit looking ‘corporate’ and standing next to your new sports car and you’ll set off the spidey sense of every gold digger in sight. At the same time as putting off young fun loving girls that think you look like a wealthy older douche who is trying to ‘buy’ them. Put pictures that show off your abs and muscles and you put off chicks that think you are a poser and chicks that believe that you are only after sex. Put a handful of neutral, boring non-threatening images of you standing next to your Xmas tree holding your pet dog and you look like a ‘boring guy.’ Put very zany ones where you share dangling upside down off something high or in fancy dress, and you seem like a freak. You’ll Scare off the meek sheltered girls and attract the S & M freaks that want you to butt fuck them while they scream ‘no daddy it’s too big’ at the top of their lungs, prompting your neighbors to alert the police.
You can write whatever you like in the profile but the more you write, the easier it’s going to be for a prospective chick to find something in your profile that pisses her off and uses it as an excuse to dismiss you or ignore your efforts to initiate interaction.
The less info you provide, the more she can project her preferred qualities into the gaps (it isn’t your fault if she makes assumptions that are unfounded and decides to see you on the basis of them is it?).
Once you do get messages flowing back and forth your flake rate is going to be unbelievably high, women are fickle creatures at the best of times. That goes tenfold for ‘online’. At least, in a bar you can ask a girl who turns away from you while she’s doing that suddenly in the middle of a conversation between you. Online all she has to do is click a button and your ability to communicate with her vanishes instantly. Attempt to circumvent that and you’ll get banned from the site for ‘harassment’.
The short answer is that this is a pretty bullshit way to go about meeting women. If you want casual hookups, post a couple of pictures of yourself including at least one that shows you are in decent shape. Post a short non-specific message about how you are interested in meeting different kinds of people and seeing where this journey is going to take you. Post jokes. Mock the whole dating process and the website itself. You want to stand out as a rebel and an adventurer so communicate that.
It’s a numbers game. Hit up a bunch of chicks with your profile. Ask them a dumb question for example about some item in the background of one of their profile pictures (IGNORE their looks and NEVER comment on them…that’s what EVERY other chump is already doing).
Once they fire back, scan through their profile get a handle on their values and personality quirks and reflect them back to her in conversation. This is actually about the only thing that’s EASIER online than in real life because you don’t even have to ask leading question to illicit the info; it’s all already there. And that’s because most women these days are narcissists prone to massively OVER-SHARING on social media (including dating site profiles). The blueprint for exactly what you need to say and do to get her to engage you is usually right there in her profile preferences and bio.
Arrange a date. On the date steer conversation away from the nuts and bolts ‘what do you do what do I do’ job interview dynamic and onto the grounds of primal fears, childhood memories and general observations about people around you. Sprinkle the conversation with subtle references and nods to all the shit she already told the universe floats her boat in her long rambling self-indulgent profile. Steer the conversation the long way round until it’s about sex one and sexual preferences one way or another. Then get her back to yours, fuck the shit out of her and only call her back the next day if she’s any good.
ON THE OTHER HAND…
If you are looking for a serious long-term relationship, forget this online bullshit totally. Instead, embrace a hobby or interest that you’ve meant to get into. If you are a man of faith look for a hobby or interest based around that or operating out of your local church. Use this as an opportunity to meet and interact with new people (male and female) who share your interests and broadly speaking your spiritual outlook.
Don’t force it but allow things to develop organically. If you like the look of a girl and get along invite her for coffee afterward. Get her number and rinse and repeat. Eventually, you talk about family and babies and raising children in this crazy mixed up world of ours and figure out if she’s on the same page. That’s the best advice I can give.
Online dating isn’t a short cut to pussy, rewarding long term relationships or marriage and family for men that haven’t invested time in learning both about themselves and about women and female nature. It’s subject to most of the same ‘rules’ as the real world dating/mating game only with a couple of the main variations that aren’t really in any man’s favor when you stop to think about it.
Volume- a double edged a sword. Because it’s easy and effortless to hit up women online, men who have confidence issues in relation to this in the real world can sit in front of a computer and spam ‘Hi, my name is John…’ to about 160 women a day. The flip side of this is that because it’s easy EVERYONE is doing it. The sheer ‘noise’ coming from every thirsty chump in the universe is something a skilled player has to cut through to even get a woman to respond to him online.
Meanwhile, In the real world, you can cut through all the noise and get a girl’s attention simply by puffing out your chest and raising your voice. Because of the different dynamics at play women on online dating sites are very pissed off with the volume of constant hits they get and tend to be very impatient and unforgiving.
Their bitch shields are on high alert. It means you need MORE game to get through it and get her to relax and open up online than you do in the ‘real world.’ Not less.
Ask a beautiful girl in a park about the book she’s reading. It’s a lot smarter than firing lame one-liners at dating profiles on the internet.
If they want to bail on you or flake on you online, they can. It takes a button click. And they don’t even have to let you down gently.
Misrepresentation – it’s a lot easier for fat/ugly chicks to change the aspect ratio of their pictures to make themselves look thin or for trannies to hide their stubble by photoshopping their pics etc.
So for all the effort it takes to do all this online shit you don’t even really know if the person you are talking to really is who they say they are. You might be talking to a 240lbs bouncer in Poland looking to get an autistic IT nerd to send him money via pay pal using his hot nieces modeling pictures. Not to mention you are competing with dudes bullshitting women left and right as well. It’s just a whole lotta twats wasting each others time for the most part.
Get a hobby. Offer hot chicks that share it a coffee after class (or whatever).
Spot a girl in the park;
Hey, is that book any good? Only I read the last book by the same chick, and I didn’t think it was her best…?’
Rinse and repeat until you get somewhere you want to be.
