Love shyness and male privilege

Love-shyness is a condition (download book as PDF here) named in 1987 by Brian Gilmartin, a professor of Psychology.  Gilmartin conducted a study, which might be the only known study of its kind, focusing on the traits of college-aged and middle-aged men who were virginal and had significant trouble meeting women. There is not even a Wikipedia article, as he is the only source on the subject.  Obviously, many feminists today would label these men as entitled “Nice Guys” and claim that they were just being lazy.  However, his study revealed several unique characteristics common among his subjects which were beyond their control.

Gilmartin believes that love-shyness is a very crucial issue, not limited to just dating problems.  For instance, on page 442, he reports that the unemployment rate for love-shies was sixteen percent.  This is because they had difficulty making job connections and working up the courage to meet new employers.  The surprising finding was that most love-shies were college-educated and had done well in classes, so they were well-learned in a textbook sense.  Some other characteristics include demanding families and lack of athletic ability.  Above all though, the most unusual characteristic was that love-shies might have trouble breathing through the nose.

When psychological conditions are analyzed, usually the mental state is most focused on. However, physical symptoms are just as important. On page 365, In Shyness and Love, Gilmartin states, “Indeed, if one were to predict among a large group of elementary school boys just exactly who is likely to go on to a life of chronic and painful love-shyness, there does not appear to be any better or more readily observable medical predictor than that of difficulties involving the nose.”  The control group in his study could mostly breathe properly, with the percent difference between the two groups being anywhere from 30% to 50%. He then states that the ability to breathe through the nose is associated with the feeling of freedom.  This is because proper breathing cools the body, allowing for clarity in thinking.  Possible causes that Gilmartin listed included a deviated septum and an abnormal nasal structure.


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I posted this fact on the RedPill subreddit to get the word out about this finding.  A good number of respondents did claim that they had trouble breathing through the nose, though there were some exceptions.  However, nothing is always true.  The post received a net count of 172 upvotes and was well-received.

Adding to this, Gilmartin estimated that 40% of people with love-shyness have Asperger’s syndrome.  Interestingly enough, a study from the University of Missouri that was published in Molecular Autism in 2011 noted that autistic children had flatter noses and wider eyes.  Perhaps, air might not be able to move efficiently up the nose, leaving a sufferer winded and unconfident 24/7.  Additionally, another study also from 2011 noted that children with extra divisions in their lungs also have autism.  The extra divisions cause resistance to inhaled air, making the sufferer winded constantly.

In conclusion, this discovery has nothing to do with male entitlement, patriarchy, male privilege, or so forth. Men with severe love-shyness already have a difficult time, yet are falsely accused of being privileged because the media portrays them as such.  Hopefully, with this evidence, we can push forward with dating help for men, in addition to improving marketable skills.

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