There is one thing you should know about me. I feel the way court-ordered child support is handled in our culture is ridiculous, and is a really bad idea. As some members of the GOP would say, it should be “defunded,” but there is no need to shut down the government – maybe. I wrote extensively on my thoughts and experiences with family court and child support HERE, but I want to expand on it a little bit.
Recently, I have been reading online about manhood. When I ask people what a “real man” is, I get all kinds of answers. While reading a few things online, I stumbled across an image that said, “A Real Man Pays Child Support.” When I saw the image, I immediately had to write my thoughts down. I subsequently wrote a blog post about it. A few hours later I got a comment on my blog from a woman who said:
“There are no great answers in the case of divorce or out-of-wedlock conception. Every case is different. I have worked with children of divorce and their parents for 23 years. There are no pat answers, but this one thing is true. If the law says pay child support, you pay child support. A real man obeys the law, even if he is feeling mistreated. Usually everyone in a divorce feels mistreated. Until a person puts his or her children first, whatever it costs, the children are the biggest losers.”
My reply went something like this:
Yes, no one should disobey the law, but the way child support is set up today immediately marginalizes fathers from the beginning. I refused to pay child support to my ex-wife. I would suggest to any man even remotely thinking about having a child that they understand the law as it is currently written in your state. If you don’t, you are putting yourself in a terrible position and possibly setting yourself up for financial ruin.
It is truly risky having a child with a woman here in the United States. It is an uphill battle for fathers to fight for equality with regard to parental rights. I have decided to spend the rest of my life doing my best to fight for changes in domestic relations law so we can finally see laws that reflect life in modern America.
Do you want to know what a REAL MAN is?
A real man does not get into a situation where he has to pay tens, if not hundreds of thousands of dollars to lawyers just to see his own flesh and blood on a regular basis. A real man does not subscribe to the mentality that the mother gets custody of the kids post break up or divorce and resign himself to the fact that he will see his kids only every other weekend. A real man assumes from the beginning that no one has to pay child support or alimony because both parents share equally if the relationship ends. Shared custody is the only way to begin the post-relationship parenting process. A real man files for divorce FIRST when he finds out his partner broke the marriage contract and cheated. A real man does not play defense…he plays offense…because he loves his children more than a woman who cheated, lied, stole, was abusive or was in the partnership for reasons other than a long-term equal partnership.
THAT is a real man.
A real man is responsible. A real man is honorable and loyal. A real man loves his children unconditionally. A real man chooses a woman after a long courting process and quickly eliminates any woman who has not had a good relationship with her father–he does not need a woman with daddy issues, he needs a wife. A real man does his due diligence to find out a potential mate’s past dating history and spot patterns before he falls head over heels in love; therefore not allowing sex to cloud his judgement. A real man kicks a woman out of the house when she is violent or emotionally abusive and is not afraid to call the police at a moment’s notice. A real man works hard on his own life to make it better for himself and his children. A real man does not cower in fear when some women tell him he is being “misogynistic” when he points out inconsistencies in extreme radical feminist ideology. A real man loves his female children, his female sisters, his female girlfriend and even still cares about the well-being of his female ex-wife…..therefore making the “misogynistic” rubbish spewed at him look silly.
THAT is a real man.
The assumption that real men pay child support is as outdated as a woman at home in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant; bringing her husband his slippers and newspaper after work every day. It’s 2013, not 1953!
Child support has NOTHING to do with children. NOTHING!!!!!! It’s all about supporting and subsidizing mothers. It is all about the transfer or wealth from fathers to mothers. It is a system that does not take into consideration the accountability for how the money is spent to care for the children. It’s also a massive game between the Federal government and the states that is only getting more and more convoluted. It is a subsidy for single motherhood.
I’m glad I stood up to the nonsense I saw in family court and did what I had to do to free myself of the financial slavery that state ordered child support really is. It’s time more men either understand the game before they get in it, or stop playing altogether.
Re-read these posts and you’ll understand my points a little better:
Deadbeat Dad Dilemma
Victims have rights. Here, the victim also has responsibilities
The Best Financial Interests Of The Child Or State
Debtors Prisons Are Alive And Well
After you get done with all of that, or anything else on my blog (socraddockmethod.com), tell me if you feel the same about the statement “A Real Man Pays Child Support.” After you do more research on the subject, tell me whether you still feel that fathers should pay into this racket or should there be another way? Tell me how you feel after you discover the reality of the poor outcomes stemming from single parent led homes? Tell me then, how a system dedicated to breaking up families is good for society? How is child support making anything better for our society?
Be a real man and avoid state-sponsored court ordered child support at all costs.