Florida Woman is Beaten Near Death- How Funny!

A Deland, Florida woman was severely beaten by her husband and found half naked and semi-conscious in her car by police.

Lenora Shorts, whose last name also describes the only thing she was wearing, was so badly beaten that she was able only to mumble to police, and point in the direction her husband had run after getting so, ahem, short with her.

Short with her, get it?

Police were summoned to the scene after a caller reported seeing a woman being dragged across the street, giving new meaning to the term, “ball and chain.”

Mr. Shorts, who was found later hiding in the bushes, suffered dog bites when a police dog attacked him.  It is not known at this time whether those injuries were serious, or if he suffered any muscle strain dragging around and beating his old lady.


There now, are you sufficiently disgusted? After all, no decent individual would find humor in such a sickening scenario, would they?

Well, they do at the New York Daily News [sic], but only if the victim is male.

Let’s take a look at the “journalism” behind this, one of their December 17 headlines:

Berlinda Dixon-Newbold arrested for allegedly setting boyfriend’s crotch on fire, police say

Oh, but you can already hear the one liners coming, can’t you?  And NYDN reporter Sean Alfano doesn’t disappoint.

The first words of reporting he penned on a story in which a female psychopath tried to set her man on fire:

“This couple gives new meaning to the phrase heated argument.”

Ta dump!!

Most of the remainder of the write up stuck to the alleged facts; in this case that Dixon-Newbold got upset at her boyfriend for taking a nap, and decided to wake him up by sexually mutilating him with fire.

I am sure that Alfano and his buddies haven’t had belly laughs like that since Lorena Bobbit bobbed it.

Ta dump-dump!

And it doesn’t help that the less than razor sharp victim was turning it into a joke himself, but that could be a preemptive move on his part. Maybe he’s a regular reader of mainstream news and decided it would be better to laugh with, versus just being laughed at.

Whether he has learned anything from the experience may have to wait for his next girlfriend.  As Alfano so wittily reports near the end of his story, the relationship between he and Dixon-Newbold has “flamed out.”

Ta dump-dump crash!!

Is it any wonder why these mainstream nimrods can’t seem to get a grasp on why their work increasingly ends up lining floors for not yet housebroken puppies, and not being read?

I guess it doesn’t matter when you’re using misandry (Yes, Sean, that’s a real word) as filler between cosmetic ads, but there is a side to this even darker than Alfano’s hateful sense of humor.

The efforts to make mainstream media user friendly to narcissistic female consumers is bad enough in sitcoms, commercials and the Hollywood production of vapid romantic comedies.  But we have finally arrived at the point that nothing is left for this ideological contagion to infect. Straight journalism was the last domino to fall.

So now, when it comes to violence against men perpetrated by women, it is either completely ignored, or, as in this case, it is just a scenario ripe to be mocked in newspapers and sneered at by the ignorant, morally deficient masses on which they so completely depend.

For women, it’s a different story.  Newspaper ad sales would drop like media stock if they were equal opportunity sexists. So they are careful to convey, subtly or not, their moral indignation at the harming of the fairer consumer. But for men, every attack they suffer is a handy joke; every punch a punch line.

Godfather Harry summed it up just right. “I don’t know who you are, sir,” he said, “But I can tell you what you are worth. If your partner was to cut off your penis tonight, the world would laugh. What a piece of shit is man.”

Harry, you’ve have been proven once again to deserve your good reputation. Man is a piece of shit.  I’ve gotten the latest confirmation, courtesy of Sean Alfano at the New York Daily News.

Note: The interpretation of the Lenora Shorts story is satire. There is nothing funny about what happened, or about the Dixon-Newbold story. If you struggle with the meaning of satire, please check here. If it still bothers you, you may qualify to report for the New York Daily News.

Recommended Content

%d bloggers like this: