Paul Elam

 

First, please accept my thanks for visiting my website.  It is the product of two years of writing, and a half century of living, along with over twenty years as an observer and activist in the strange realm of socio-sexual politics.  I hope whatever sanity I have held on to from that has found its way to the pages here and that you might find something useful in them.  But first a few words about me personally, about how this site came into being, and more importantly, why.

Being born in the mid 50’s, I grew up in a much different world than we live in today. My father was career military, serving faithfully through two wars and bearing the scars, both internal and external, to prove it. My mother served as well, being an army wife and raising three boys. She earned a masters degree with honors after, and only after, that job was done.

My youth was rocked in the late 60’s and early 70’s, as was the rest of the country. During that time I came to question and indeed suspect everything my parents stood for, as did most everyone of my generation.  It took some time to figure out that my father wasn’t the guy that got us into Viet-Nam; he was just a soldier doing his job. I also figured out my mother wasn’t a domestic slave, just a principled woman who put her family first.

It also dawned on me that what they stood for was work, their old school values, and above all else, their children.  I wasted a good measure of my youth in denial of that, and carry regrets to this day.

I did my own stint in the service and found myself unsuited for the grueling conformity and dedication to tedium it requires in peacetime, though I can’t imagine I would have preferred walking in my father’s footsteps to the battlefield. The fashionable rebelliousness I acquired in adolescence didn’t help, but it made things a lot more interesting.

A bad match for the military and uninterested in manual labor I eventually escaped to college. After a few attempts at majoring in beer, I settled on psychology, and minored, according to the faculty, in driving them to giddy fascination with razor blades and other sharp objects. Apparently the military had not beaten the irreverence for authority out of me.

But the problem with college, at least in that time, was that it almost always led to a job, unless you stayed there and taught. I liked the idea of light work that translated into prestige and puffery, but the conformity required in academia rivals that of the military. Been there, done that, if you’ll forgive such a blatant cliché.

I wanted something really easy to do so I chose a career of trying to talk crack heads and alcoholics into staying out of bars and crack houses. That turned out to be almost as hard as reasoning with professors, but it was also for a much better cause. I stayed with it for the better part of twenty years.

Interesting thing about counseling addicts; you can only talk about booze and dope so much. Sooner or later get around to other things like work, social life and the lot.

Like marriage and family.

Addiction takes its toll across the board. Much of the recovery from it is repairing damage that frequently cuts across the lives of everyone close to the addict. It’s a given in the treatment world that including the spouse is essential; that we are, in actuality, treating the family and marriage as opposed to treating the individual.

This is difficult work at best, but it got even more complicated. Somewhere along the way, about the time gender feminists brought their “feminist therapy” theories to the community of practitioners, things took a most bizarre turn for the worse in a treatment industry that already struggled with efficacy and recidivism.  Simply put, we stopped really treating addiction and started practicing sexual politics with our clients.  We segregated them by sex, more accurately we built walls around female clients, and started teaching them that all their problems, in one way or another, stemmed from men.

We taught them classes on the many dangers of men, much of it focusing on how to spot and deal with the bad ones, with the subtext being that they were all bad ones.

The entire field seemed to morph into one giant episode of a weekday afternoon talk show, with damaged lives put on display like circus sideshows.  But unlike television the purpose was not to sell commercial advertising, but rather to push political ideology, and push it on people at the most vulnerable point in their fragmented lives.  We began to identify and treat masculinity as the disease, not the addiction, and the cure for it was misandry –the hatred of men and boys– even though at the time I didn’t know there was a word for such a thing.  Men’s groups devolved into sessions of shame, clinically applied and charged for by the hour.  Or, as one psychotherapist once told me, just before being paid to address a group of male clients, “I love to take men’s macho bullshit and shove it down their throats.”  The look in her eye was nothing less than sadistic. And she was looking at me no differently than she looked at her “clients.”

So of course all this spilled over into the daily routines of practitioners.  Many male counselors quit closing their doors when in individual sessions with female clients.  Allegations of sexual impropriety were routine, and encouraged, as were false memories of childhood abuse.  I am sure I can’t account for the hours of group therapy, money and possible help that were squandered by therapists, processing memories of abuse with clients that never happened.  Rather than helping them heal relationships with their already battered families, we sometimes just helped them drive the final nail in the coffin.  It was- is, professional abuse on a massive scale.

The profession proceeded with all of this wholesale. It became a dangerous place for men to be, both clients and staff.  The insurance companies didn’t bat an eye. They continued to pay. Treatment continued to suffer. And as time passed, relationships suffered more. Anti-male hate speech filtered its way into therapy and the culture at large in the same way tabloid journalism took over the news. Mainly because it sold. Still does.

Having the unusual notion that it was more my job to counsel addicts than to demonize men, it often put me at odds with the prevailing powers. Never subscribing to the adage “If you can’t beat em, join ’em,” I fought. In many ways I got my ass kicked.

The old saying goes, you can’t fight city hall. That may be true, but it’s nothing compared to fighting titty hall. Not even close.  And that is not to say that the problem was women.  It wasn’t.  The problem was hateful ideology hiding behind the façade of helping women, which effectively rendered it immune to attack.  The “helping professionals” that ushered in this ideological malignancy were men as often as they were women.

Eventually I left, watching what was left of professional treatment go down in flames like Rome.

So, to let you know, I did not get into this type of writing because I hate women, because of a bad divorce or a bad mother; and not because I want to return to any imagined days when women stayed in the kitchen and men ran the world.  I do what I do for the same reasons that I chose to work with people who were headed for jails, destruction and death because the horrors of addiction; because something needs to be done.

Because as human beings we must at least try.

As a counselor I was often the bearer of tough messages that people needed to hear.  Sometimes there was no easy way to say what needed to be said.  As a writer on this particular subject, I view the mission as largely the same. So those that need sugar coated should go get a doughnut. I don’t say that in arrogance.  Something has poisoned the relationships of men and women, which means it is poisoning our children. And instead of finding solutions, we have become addicted to the problem.  I admittedly lack subtlety or even tact in my approach.  Blame it on necessity, or blame it on me.  But I am less concerned with offending you than with telling you less than the truth.

And what I know is that the truth is the only antidote for this type of poison.

With respect to that, I offer you mine.

[typography font=”Just Another Hand” size=”34″ size_format=”px”]Paul Elam[/typography]

152 thoughts on “Paul Elam”

  1. Your welcome. I will be adding social network connections as I figure out how to get it done. In the meantime, you can always just post the url to FB and that will work.

    Thanks for your support, amigo.

    1. Hello Paul; I am currently working as an intern in a live in recovery facility while completing my B.A. in Social Psychology. I have my A.S. in drug and alcohol counseling along with my Certificate of Achievement and have taken the written part of the C.A.A.D.A.C. exam. I am continuing my internship from my Practicum. The reason I write all of this is because I have joined the MRA and have only recently become enlightened to the discrepancies in the recovery of men and women. You nailed it. Today was the group counselors meeting and I threw out some of your opinions, I was not met with much enthusiasm, although I found it interesting that one of the male counselors asked if I knew your website address, after the meeting. Can you please give me some insight on how to present this material? Please keep in mind that as an Intern I am at the bottom of the food chain. Your attention in this matter is greatly appreciated. Thank you – Lillie

      1. Hi Lillie,

        Sorry I just now ran across this post. And BTW, thank you again for the video referral that is now posted.

        My suggestion to you is to be very cautious until you have some clout and capital wherever it is you are working, that most importantly you develop your clinical skills more than you worry about your peers.

        But I do have one suggestion that will help you kill two birds with one stone. Get and read this exceptional book by Tom Golden

        http://www.amazon.com/Swallowed-Snake-Gift-Masculine-Healing/dp/0965464911/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1307427404&sr=8-1

        BTW, his youtube channel is 1menaregood1 and his website is menaregood.com He is a brilliant man and an incredible human being.

        That book will give you more than anything else that I can suggest you read about men’s grief and healing. And if you have not already, you will find out that the bulk of your work focuses on grief.

        You will also find out where it concerns men that 98% of your peers will be useless to them because they want to force men into a feminine mold where it concerns their emotions. They do not understand that men experience and cope with feelings differently than women.

        I know, you asked me for suggestions about talking to your peers. I wish I could help more with that. But I will tell you the more you develop expertise on helping men, the more you will feel comfortable speaking up and the more effective you will be at getting your peers to listen.

        Keep up the good work.

  2. Hey Pual I’m cutup663 on youtube I am a satire writer and people like it so I have been directing those young male followers to this site. I figured that its a good way to get to many people who don’t see or don’t know about to come and learn

  3. Paul is there any way to respond to a comment as a sort of sub comment rather than it piling on to the end of the comments. I’m not fussing just asking, would be a bit of a short cut in some aspects of the comments. But it also may be more complicated than worthwhile. I went to your link and registered. coupla messages there for you and factory.

  4. @ Keith,

    The answer is yes to both. It can be done and it is worth it. BUT lol! there is also the Paul Factor where it concerns tech matters.

    I would like a much more sophisticated comment system, but I am having to figure this out on the fly. I will go check the forum I sent you to.

  5. Sorry, meant to post my thanks to Derek, but got sidetracked and forgot.

    I am especially appreciative of those who send younger men here. I think this is the kind of place that can make a lot of things make sense to them that previously didn’t.

    So thanks for sending them on.

    Paul

  6. LOL! I wish I had the time to do that, but I don’t. I generally write a full article every week or so, but that has been slower with the recent development of this site.

    I hope to attract other writers and I will be filling in th gaps with much shorter pieces.

  7. Thanks for sharing that story Paul. Being ~20 years younger than you, I grew up with traditional parents but in a society that preached equality. I truly believed in equality but now I know that some are more equal than others. It’s unbelievable what’s happening to men. I do a lot of research so that I don’t have to rely just on other people’s opinions. I’ve only been at this for a handful of years but it’s still hard to believe. The mainstream media and political pandering is the greatest enemy of equality. You’re a great mentor, this is just the beginning of a very long battle.

  8. It’s good to learn a bit more about you, Paul. I admire what you’re doing and respect the intelligent, balanced, impartial manner in which you try to address these complicated and heated issues. But I have to admit I’m glad I’m not in your shoes. It’s got to be stressful “fighting titty hall”. lol

    Btw, the new site is lookin’ good!

  9. Hi Paul. I daren’t tell my husband about you as he, too, was born in the mid-50s and often talks about the oppression of men. I don’t disagree but he can get very upset about it. I was a victim of women’s lib in the 70s and had the worst argument with my dad about it when I was 17. I have always understood and embraced my womanhood; particularly since having five children. I think women’s lib has destroyed womanhood and femininity. Now that I know about you from my friend’s daughter who was supposed to write an essay about your video for a university essay, I will stay tuned. Thanks for your honesty.

  10. Thank you thank you thank you! Please keep going.
    All that feminism did for me is that I had more probably women than all my ancestors. All I ever wanted was having a stable family.
    If you are a divorce lawyer, anti-depressent seller, women’s apparel salesmen, plastic surgeon, cat breeder or sell organic food, start fearing the awakening from it.
    I pledged to myself to never ever help, assist or lend an ear to a female friend, especially when divorced.

  11. Hi Paul,
    I’ve been trying to sharpen my debating repertoire with a thread linked on my name (NSFW). I was wondering if you could give me pointers on how to better structure my arguments and statements?
    You might have to tinker with the forum settings and controls a little to view all the posts – it’s not well coded and omits the last two posts on a given filled page it seems, or you could just order the threads by poster to read only my posts (probably easier).
    Also, I love the social progress everyone here is instigating almost as much as I love reading the posts, videos, and articles. Keep up the good work!

  12. Pingback: Men’s News Daily is wrapping up operations « menareangrynow

  13. Paul, I first found this site a few days ago. I also just watched some of your YouTube videos and have come across some of your comments on other blogs as well as your own. I think they are brilliant, insightful and an inspiration.

    Like many here I imagine, none of these issues were even on my radar until, almost overnight, they became central to my life. In my case it was the international abduction of my son by my wife some two and half years ago that started my on this journey. I am many things, but naive is not normally one of them. Having been raised in an environment that treated all things related to children and childhood as sacred (indeed children are pimped at the forefront of almost every social or political issue) I naively believed recovering my son (an actual children’s issue) wouldn’t be hard. In my, not always so humble opinion, I am a very bright, driven and capable man. I love my son and was completely committed to being his father prior to losing him, and bringing him home afterwards. But in very short order I came to see extremely inconvenient truths and ugly realities all around me about the world I actually live in. The reality was nothing like the rhetoric.

    I have never been one to shy away from harsh realities or unpleasant truths — in fact overcoming them defined much of my life and has long been a source of pride for me. Now I’m working hard to understand this new world I live in — a world where, frankly, up is down and left is right, and to understand what that means for me, my future and for my only son. I have found your efforts helpful to me in that process and recognize that you are doing it because you genuinely care and, for that, you have my deep gratitude.

  14. Carlos,

    I am sorry I did not see this when it was originally posted. I appreciate your kind words, but I do wish that whatever talent I have as a writer could be of more help to men like you. At times it seems we are just adrift, with no land in sight.

    But I have hesitation to tell you sir, that it is men like you, who actually face the beast and fight, for something as noble as the love of a son, that leaves me OK with being in this godforsaken boat.

  15. I just wanted to let you know that I have enjoyed your insight and wisdom. I will visit your sight daily> Thanks for all you do.

  16. Thank you for your efforts, Paul. My husband and I have two young sons to raise and this information will certainly be helpful!

  17. Hey Paul- here’s most of my anti-fem creations you can feel free to use as you wish.. http://americanfemaleposters.blogspot.com/

    Hats off to anyone who has the work ethic, time and all the rest to maintain a site like yours.

    Btw, can you please address one issue on your site at some point that I never see addressed anywhere? It has to do with WHY violence and serious injury against men has risen so high nowadays and really REALLY should be taken seriously.. and it’s right there in our faces everyday..

    It’s because 2/3 of females in the U.S. now are freaking BEASTS.. look around everywhere and they’re not just fat, but monstrous and BUTCH. I’m a big guy, but even I wouldn’t want to get into a tangle with one of these Sasquaches! I’m not saying I date women who look like that (I’d soon just go without) but you can rest assure somebody is – and this is where all this new wave of DV to men is coming from!

    Just as recently as the 1980’s the issue of female on male violence was laughable because women were still petite and feminine – but the times have REALLY changed and people need to catch up!

  18. Pingback: Domestic Violence: On Real Victims « A Voice for Men

  19. Pingback: Domestic Violence: On Real Victims

  20. Dear Paul,

    I’m so glad I found a link to your site from Shrink4Men – bravo! My husband was tormented by a woman with BPD (undiagnosed but blatantly obvious) for 13 years…he’s now free, but not free, due to her continued harrassment (stalking/dragging him thru the courts) and extreme tactics to force parental alienation with his adult children.

    Not to mention the emotional aftermath and healing he is working on….when we first lived together he would actually do the laundry and fold the clothes…this, was very cool! First time I witnessed this I excitedly exclaimed “Hey, you did my laundry too. Thanks! You fold better than I do!”…and he replied “Oh, you mean I did it right?”…right? hell, the fact you did it at all makes my bee buzz! Apparently, ex-demon wife would unfold, then refold them mocking him about not being able to do anything right.

    When the situation first reared it’s ugly head (she left him for a man 21 years her junior while on vacation together- now it’s his fault her boy toy couldn’t hold a job and I”m now “the whore” who stole her hubby..huh?), I thought “what is going on here?”…I never thought in a million years I would end up seeking help (along with my husband) at the Center for Domestic Violence (Washington County, Oregon). It’s been four, long crueling years of watching her drag him through the court system – in fact, we have another date on Monday with The Demon Witch again….

    Men are Not The Enemy, nor are there enough adequate resources for men to tap into…doesn’t seem very fair to me. Many times the father is the better parent…period. The court did make her attend mandatory mental health counseling…but if you can’t recognize your own dysfunction…will she ever get the help (and heavy sedatives) she so desperately needs? Then again, aren’t we all responsible for own mental health needs?

    I reek of compassion for those abused in childhood, but I hold contempt for those who continue to use it as an excuse for their poor choices. I’m really afraid this woman might “snap” and try and physically hurt him/me…as the news is riddled with stories like this….from both men and women who can’t emotionally move on….Perhaps I watch too much true crime TV…but these women are scary/dangerous.

    In one of her numerous “smear campaign” emails she made the following vulgar statement “you were the abuser, always forcing me to suck your unwashed d***”…and I’ve refrained this whole time from lowering myself to her level and ever publicly addressing her (had a no contact order in place, which has since dropped off)….so when I see her in court on Monday I might just have to rebute with “You know every time &&&& asks me for a blow job, it’s always squeeky clean!”…Petty? Perhaps. Just. Not even close.

    Thanks for letting me rant/comment…great job on the site. I sent a link to my husband, I’m sure he’ll be making a donation.

    1. Agreed. My husband had a similar experience with a woman he was never married too. I did a you tube video about it. Didn’t touch much on the physical or verbal or mental abuse of the relationship, but about the parental alienation and how my husband took a stand to her, and what it cost him to do so. These stories of men need to get out there.

      Thank you Mr. Elam for this site, and I just would ask (and I may do this in another you tube video) What can women do in the Men’s rights movement?

      As of late, I have a list of you tube projects I am going to work on and post sites like this one to my face book page, write notes on my face book page to pass around, and opinion pieces to the local papers, many of which never get published. Surprise. Not really. Anyways, Julie, I am sorry to hear of your situation, my mother was the same and it has cost me a lot with my relationship with my father, and all this feminist garbage has hurt society as a whole and NEEDS to be stopped in its current form.

      And Sir, thank you for this site.

      Jessica (Jessica22481) on you tube.

  21. There’s a good video that might interest people here by the amazing athiest called Feminism sucks and another one where he pawns a feminist – this one is even better. On You Tube.

  22. I left a comment about a video on You Tube. It wasn’t spam. it has hundreds of thousands of hits. I have nothing to do with it. I got the name wrong on the last post anyway. copy/paste this title FEMINIST FAIL: Pwnage into you tube, then theres a second one called FEMINIST FAIL: Pwnage 2 which is very good – the second one is very, very funny.

  23. @ Just Julie

    I have been traveling of late and have just discovered your kind comments, and my sympathies for your time in personality disorder hell at the hands of your man’s ex.

    Thank you, I wish you the best of luck with your situation and I hope that you and your husband enjoy the site.

  24. Paul if you get the time check out some of mine and others MRA handy work @

    http://www.theage.com.au/lifestyle/lifematters/blogs/citykat/women-not-that-scary/20101209-18r9o.html?comments=260#comments

    and

    http://blogs.theage.com.au/executive-style/allmenareliars/2010/12/14/mandysayer.html?page=fullpage#comments

    I will continue to direct peple from the fairfax newspaper blogs to this site for as long as fairfax will have me.

    P.S it is like shooting fish in a barrel!! 🙂

  25. Thank you for sharing and trying to make this world a better place. Injustice is everywhere and just the thought of it makes me sick. Thank you for holding on

  26. Hi Paul,

    I’m new to this site but not new to MRA. I would like to know what you think of this

    http://sg.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ak6LyuBhFQVZh8i7LlFqIkoazKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20101227163247AAofDke

    I worked this up this afternoon and put it on Yahoo! Answers. I think the response is pretty good and my calculations are also. There are some grey areas but mostly those are because the studies in question lump rape and attempted rape together. Still though I think it’s a good way to get our message out there.

    The reason I say that is because Yahoo! Answers is always coming up on my search engine. So if someone puts a question into a search engine then up comes Yahoo! Answers and voila they get our message.

    I think there may be a way to tag the question to attract more searches. Perhaps put names of someone famous in it or something recent that happened in the news.

    The point is to ask a serious question about what people think and layout the evidence complete with links for them to figure it out.

    I’d like to hear your feedback.

    Oh and by the way you will notice that most of the people responding think the 25% rape statistic is wrong. That’s a good sign.

  27. Nice work here may I say I had a few internet buddies subscribe to your youtube channel. I like to point out misandry as much as I can beating people with common sense is a bit difficult though when they don’t even believe in it. I myself dislike my present council because of the problems you mentioned that you had in your work, she doesn’t listen and treats me like an idiot I hate going and I can’t find any male couniclers that are worth listening to.

  28. I have been waiting many years for someone like you to come along. You see it, you can articulate it, and you take the time to do so. Too many lives have been ruined. I hope I live long enough to see your message take hold.

  29. You know what I do for a living , I sell motorcycles, I also have a significant ecommerce and phone sale business of powersports parts and accessories. We sell on the phone, order from manufacturers , ship to customers, you could say a mini Amazon.com . Well we have 3 fulltime employees in the shipping department, one resigned about 3 months ago and we were holding off hiring till we started our busy season. Well its starting and we are contemplating hiring someone.

    So today at around 2 PM walks in cold an attractive/average young women in her 20’s asking if we had any openings, my parts manager said not at the moment, she asked if she could leave her resume, the parts manager said yes and the young women left the store. I watched the entire interaction which was about 60 seconds. The parts manager gives me the resume and she is a pretty good fit for our fulfillment department, associates degree in business, experience in an autoparts store as a parts manager for 2 years, handled customer service for them also.

    Next within the hour I get an email from a young man who has background as a motorcycle mechanic and wants to get a position in our service department. I dont need anyone in service at the moment.

    Now, I think about what I can do in this situation, hire no one, hire the woman or hire the man. I have to tell you the immediate thoughts that come to my mind is that she is the best fit but I think she is a sexual harassment suit waiting to happen and I dont want the grief I expect that I will get from interjecting her into a workplace with 7 men and I intrinsically have a mistrust of her , it bothers me the decision I am about to make because I have two daughters however I offer the position to the man in fulfillment if he wants it as a stepping stone into the service department.

    Now this could just be be chalked up to my personal prejudice, which it is, however I never would have made that decision 10 years ago. It cant all be laid on my shoulders as being an unfair mysoginist, I believe radical feminsim and an ex-wife who falsely accused me of domestic violence has educated me to NOT take on the risk of hiring an unknown female into my small company unfortunately. I feel bad about it really, however I truly believe I am making the best decision for the business as sad as that is.

    How many other small business men are now making the same decisions everyday.

  30. Dear Mr Elam

    I stumbled upon your YouTube channel and website yesterday and am thoroughly engrossed in the content. I am a particular fan of Dr Paul!

    I am embarrassed to admit I had never even heard the word ‘misandry’ until I heard you say it. I am interested to note as I write this that my automatic spell check doesn’t recognise the word.

    I am a 38 year old British woman, a single mother to a delightful little girl. I was ‘raised’ by a feminist who made our lives hell before finally running off with her boss. My father then married another one. I’m ostracised by the family because I refused to toe the feminist party line. Not because I saw the lie for what it was, I had been as successfully indoctrinated as everyone else I know, but because I saw her as an emotional bully and a tyrant and I wouldn’t play the game. I am, therefore, in her eyes the jealous step-daughter. Fine, get on with it, freakazoid.

    I am telling you this because I want to express my heart-felt gratitude for setting me free. Everything in my life up to this moment now makes complete sense. I’m not crazy, it is wrong and yes, evil to treat men as second class citizens, “only good for taking out the trash” (as I once heard my step-mother tell one of her granddaughters with a cute little laugh). I am free to raise my daughter to be respectful to ALL people, to teach her to see through the lies and indoctrination and remove myself from the process of perpetuation.

    I am heartbroken at the evil that has been done to us, and the part I have played in it – ignorance is no defence. The one thing I can do is continue to live in truth, despite friends and family calling me crazy for it. I pray that the good men and women of this world wake up and take back what has been stolen. Thank you for giving me hope.

    God bless
    Sarah Stephens

    1. First, Sarah, my humble thanks for your kind words.

      And to anyone reading this that still thinks that writing and making videos on men’s issues is just a waste of time; all talk as it were. Please read this. Sarah Stephens just proved how terribly wrong you are.

      And that proof will also be seen in the values she instills in her daughter.

      1. You are welcome, sir.

        As a side note, I recently began a psychology degree with the Open University (a distance learning institution) but became disenchanted and am considering changing course. When asked on the online course forum why I had chosen pyschology, I answered that I wanted to become a counsellor to help families coping with post natal depression, inspired in part by my own struggle with PND and by the Chinese proverb “When the child screams, treat the mother”. I was called a ‘Nazi’ for this. I’m sure I don’t have to tell you it was a feminist who said so. I haven’t been back since.

        I intend to post links to your site and others on the forum and Facebook course group page. That should put the cat among the pidgeons quite nicely! Seriously though, lots of men study psychology and maybe it will help open some eyes to the traps they face.

        Keep up the great work, you truly are an inspiration. Thanks again,
        Sarah Stephens

      2. Sometimes i think it is harder for women, because they were (and still are) under direct attack by the feminsts in the past forty years or so.
        Anybody can be brainwashed.
        But here’s the proof that feminists (and other liar ideologists) can’t win; human beings are natural truth seekers by curiosity.

  31. Quarter past two in the morning – just been reading through some of this site for the first time after putting “men’s movement” into the search engine. Guess I struck lucky! Anyway, my own story certainly matches up with some of the ideas given an airing here – too tired to go into details other than that thinking love would save the day hasn’t quite panned out the way I wanted it to. Leaves me realising that things are badly amiss. Reading the articles and comments helps to clarify things, so thanks. Maybe my eyes won’t be so bloodshot in the morning!

  32. Mr Elam by any chance do you know about any organization that could provide legal help to men ? it would be in riverside, california or if there is a way to overturn a verdict if someone got accused of domestic violence? if not at least help to clean the records?

  33. Hi Paul,

    I read your essay as you suggested and I’m having a few issues with your website. I find myself nodding my head in agreement, and even having my eyes opened by your words, and the mission and values. As I have said, many times, I have a son, and I don’t want him to grow up in a world that hates men.

    I know you can’t really control it, but the climate on this site is often times full of men who seem to hate and abhor women, calling us inferior, and downvoting just about every comment I make – even the agreeable ones. There is so much anger and nasty words. I would think one of your goals would be to recruit more women who want the men in their lives to feel proud not ashamed, but these guys are all but bullying me off the threads.

    This reminds me of the women’s studies course I took, where the teacher was shaming the few men in the class, every time they had a question. I even got the condescending glares when I asked about equal pay. I said “really? still? Still unequal?” And she looked at me as if to say “oh sweetie, you poor ignorant soul.”

    I can’t really subject myself to that again, it’s not a learning experience.

    I think it’s counterproductive to alienate women. From your own words, the problem is not women, but “The problem was hateful ideology.” I don’t subscribe to any hateful ideology, and I see a lot of hate in these threads.

    Thanks for considering my viewpoint.

    Sasha

    1. Yes Sasha. It’s kind of ironic, but a lot of guys in this movement almost seem set on acting in the exact same way as the feminists they abhor… As you pointed out in your example with the classroom.

      In fact, I often joke some of these guys seem to have a goal of becoming a “male andrea dworkin”. On one side I understand them. Even the most bitter, pessimistic, negative and bullying ones… I mean, the thing is that pretty much 99% of the women they’ve encountered online on this topic have been staunch feminazis.

      That means that they don’t even read what a woman says, but just skim the text, and read it as “oh, another feminist, bully, down-vote”. Considering that its normal human behavior to make judgments like this, if it has happened to you the past 100 times, I understand them at some level.

      On another, I do not understand them, because we DO need women in this movement. In fact, one sympathetic woman acting as one of our spokespeople actually carries more weight then a 1000 middle-aged men doing the same.

      Maybe at some level they resent this fact? I don’t know.

      Its ironic, I mean, if a woman posts a comment that’s 95% supportive, but she’s not yet filled in on the other 5%, she’s immediatelly downvoted and assumed to be a feminazi.

      Even if she agrees a 100%, but she simply phrases her support a little differently than an MRA, she’s immediately down-voted and cast-aside. A woman is deemed “a feminazi until she proves otherwise”.

      That’s kind of dumb, because NONE OF US (I mean the men) when we joined this movement actually agreed with 100% of it. We weren’t filled in on all the facts ourselves.

      We had to learn the facts and the points, and we did so by questioning and talking to folks. Yet, when a woman tries to the exact same thing, she’s immediately assumed to be a feminist, and not even given a chance to learn.

      So how is she supposed to learn then? Is she supposed to somehow magically know all the facts before she even talks to anyone here?

      1. Okay I will take a stab at this one for you. I am one of those men who have down voted Sasha’s posts, and yes I do read every word written.

        This site is called “A voice for men”. Paul has made it quite clear that fair and open minded women are very welcome – but ostensibly a place for men’s voices to be heard, we hear the shrill cry of women every day of our lives in every manner conceivable.

        I welcome the fact that there are women sympathetic to our plight but I don’t agree that they are more important than men; if we are to extricate ourselves from this cesspool of female entitlement and misandry it will be the men that do it, not women. Don’t believe me? Look to the Middle East, it is primarily MEN who took to the streets, it is MEN who grabbed their rifles to defend what they believe in, it’s MEN who are filling the body bags! Not women, MEN.

        If Sasha wants to learn, then the first lesson she should learn is how to listen. Period. There are countless articles covering VAST tracts of relevant issues posted on this and other sites, let her learn first THEN speak!!

        Let her understand that if she finds some of what we say to be offensive; it is HER problem, not ours – why should we temper our words to her sensibilities. In every facet of our lives it is demanded that we make concessions and be considerate to women – and many of us are mighty sick of it!

        Example:
        Fact. Women are typically awful drivers.
        Prohibited. Telling women they are typically awful drivers.
        Solution. Make ‘women only’ parking spaces that are bigger than needed.

        Example:
        Fact. Women are a disaster in the armed forces.
        Prohibited. Telling women they can’t fight.
        Solution. Keep them in camp or under as much armour as possible, preferably both.

        Many men, myself included, don’t care about making concessions or being nice; we care about the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth!

        If the available, objective evidence suggests that women are inferior to men in the fields of maths and philosophy, then that’s how it is, we will say, “Men are better at maths and philosophy than women”. None of this, “Well men do better at maths and philosophy but women are better at…”.

        No excuses, no mincing words, direct and to the point.

        Men built this world. Fact. Women helped, as did horses, dogs and carrier pigeons – our appreciation and gratitude to you all.

        I honestly believe that if you took 1000 random men and 1000 random women and dumped the men on one deserted island and the women on another – no food, no laws, no medicine and came back after 5 years I am absolutely certain the men would flourish and the women flounder.

        I believe men encapsulate the very best, and very worst of humanity. I believe men are superior, in many respects to women.

        Do I hate women? NO!!! Would I give my life to save my wife’s? In a heartbeat! Is she my equal? no. But she is my love.

        If Sasha wants a warm reception from us, it has to be on OUR terms. Let her communicate as rational man NOT a irrational female.

        No “LOL”s.
        No “My feelings are hurt.”
        No “I’m a only a woman but…”
        No “other women are like that but not me – give me praise I’m a good girl!”

        In MAN speak. Listen more. Learn more. Talk less.

        Dose that answer your question AlekNovy?

        (Written but not proof read because I am bloody tired, like most men I work hard for a living)

        1. Dude, your entire comment was a big rant on men vs. women and had nothing to do with what we’re discussing here, which is “the politics of an effective movement”.

      2. AlekNovy:

        Are you fucking kidding me? Here are some of Sasha’s past gems:

        “It is a campaign to end violence. You have no idea what you’re talking about. Good luck with the dirt, haha! And all this is only helping him and riverview center, so keep it up douchebags!”

        “I really don’t understand the point of this website. The least discriminated member of society (white men) is crying out for a voice? Silly pants. What are you guys so angry about? Is it ruling the world, or making the most money? I can see why you’d be so upset.”

        “Gotta admit, men rule this planet.”

        So we’re are all just big, bad male bullies for downvoting and rationally responding to this delicate flower’s “supportive” comments, huh?

        I don’t think anybody here is automatically downvoting when they see a female name. That may happen to a very limited degree at The Spearhead, but it doesn’t here. See Just Julie and artensoll’s comments above.

        Frankly, your behavior in “protecting” the female posters seem almost like a white knight’s.

        1. I’ve never read any of Sasha’s comments. In fact, this is the first time I see her posting.

          I was responding on the topic in general, not about this individual called sasha. See what happened yesterday to “giselle”. She was getting massively down-voted for posting comments that are no different than what a new guy would post coming in on this blog.

          “””So we’re are all just big, bad male bullies for downvoting and rationally responding to this delicate flower’s “supportive” comments, huh?””

          I’d appreciate it if you didn’t put words in my mouth.

          When did I say these women were supportive? Please quote me?

          What I did state was that a lot of them were not feminists, and merely ignorant. Even if they agreed 95% with the thing said, they would be attacked for disagreeing on 5%, even though we guys don’t agree on everything in between ourselves.

          What I did state was that a random guy coming around with the exact same comments and behavior would not be treated that way, but educated.

          “””Frankly, your behavior in “protecting” the female posters seem almost like a white knight’s.”””

          That’s your projection. I’m protecting the politics and the effectiveness of the movement. The behaviour of “assume every female is a feminist out to get me” is just not effective, not useful and doesn’t serve our goals effectivelly.

          I guess the reason I’m different than a lot of guys here is because I have no “nice guy” background. I was never the nice guy. I have always been the “badboy” if you will.

          A lot of guys here seem to be overcompensating. They seem to have spent a big chunk of their life being white knights and sucking up to women, so they’re now swinging to the other extreme. They believe the only way to NOT be a white-knight is to be a whiny little bitch that gets upset about anything a woman says.

          The goal is indifference. If a guy is still getting upset and going out of his way to show how much he doesn’t care… He’s actually demonstrating that he cares. He’s demonstrating his powerlessness.

          1. You are the angriest person currently posting on this blog, even while you celebrate the virtue of indifference and call everyone else angry and powerless.

            In truth, everyone else couldn’t care less about your rantings.

            Do you see the irony, Alek? It’s delicious!

          2. “you celebrate the virtue of indifference”

            I celebrate the virtue of indifference to women. I am not indifferent to men, and never will be.

            I want what’s best for men and this movement, and when I see it taking crappy directions, it affects me, and yes, you guys do have power over me. You have the power to make me feel sad, dissapointed and/or pessimistic.

            That is… Until I read Fidelbogen a bit, and learn that this is normal, and the movement needs to pass this stage. I’m just acting as a bit of a “balancing force”. Overall I’m optimistic, especially since men like Paul are the leaders, and I trust paul to be a strategic leader.

            When push comes to shove, I do believe the movement will grow more strategic.

          3. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t put words in my mouth.

            When did I say these women were supportive? Please quote me?”

            Sure:

            “Its ironic, I mean, if a woman posts a comment that’s 95% supportive, but she’s not yet filled in on the other 5%, she’s immediatelly downvoted and assumed to be a feminazi.”

            Now you’re changing “supportive” to “agreed”, I see, but it’s blatantly incorrect either way.

            “What I did state was that a random guy coming around with the exact same comments and behavior would not be treated that way, but educated.”

            You have nothing but your own delusions to back up this claim. If a guy came here and said things like “what this article is saying it’s okay for female children to be raped”, he would not be treated as “educated”. In fact, he would probably be treated MORE harshly than Giselle has been.

            The picture you’ve painted of misogynist, aggressive men bullying every female commenter, regardless of what she says, is false. You have nothing to back it up.

            “A lot of guys here seem to be overcompensating. They seem to have spent a big chunk of their life being white knights and sucking up to women, so they’re now swinging to the other extreme. They believe the only way to NOT be a white-knight is to be a whiny little bitch that gets upset about anything a woman says.”

            Again, this is just a rambling delusion with nothing to back it up. You’re seeing what you apparently want to see. Calling the men here “whiny little bitches” is not indifference, it’s feminist-like shaming language.

        2. My first comments were sort of ignorant, I admit. I didn’t really understand this site.

          If you’re going to paste everything I wrote, maybe you could see some of the evolution taking place in my awareness. My eyes were opened a little.

          It’s hard to change, hard to see something you’ve been told your whole life doesn’t exist (misandry). I’m tryin here buddy.

    2. You have defined the problem well. Unfortunately, it is a precarious one that leaves us with very fine lines to cross and in need of more understanding than would be expected in average environments.

      First, while I don’t support anyone saying that “women are inferior,” I just don’t think it is so easy to assign that intent to every statement here that isn’t flattering about women in the culture we live in.

      In my opinion there MUST be an examination of the dark feminine that has been groomed and fostered in modern western culture. And I think you can amply see that we don’t shy away here from traits in the average man that we find disturbing, even as we are vigilant to watch out for generalized male shaming.

      Simply put, this shit ain’t easy.

      It is complicated and tricky and often leaves me wishing that the only things we need to critique were laws and institutions. But laws and institutions are not the only problem and are, in fact generally reflective of the people who inhabit and foster them. And sometimes that is rooted in our nature as men and women.

      So far, and especially give the incredibly sensitive nature of the subjects we cover here, I think we have done a moderately good job on towing the line.

      That being said we can and should do better than we have. And now is as good a time as any to start.

      In trying to do better, though, it is important that we don’t cross some lines with the men here as well, or at least that we have a clearly discernible policy on what the lines are that should not be crossed. There is anger in here that is justified and reasonable. That includes some very justified and reasonable anger at what men and women have become, collectively, in this culture.

      I openly and gladly invite your input, public or private, on how we improve what we do and avoid problems. In fact, having some ideas about this subject, I would very much appreciate your private contact for their consideration.

      I have no interest in becoming the monster we are fighting.

      And I have no interest on alienating the several women who contribute to this site or those that read and comment here.

      At the same time, I am not willing to sacrifice one single word of the truth in order to keep anyone, man or woman around.

      So please contact me and hear my ideas, and be prepared to offer your own. I will also include anyone who wishes on our email thread for additional input.

      1. “And I have no interest on alienating the several women who contribute to this site or those that read and comment here.

        At the same time, I am not willing to sacrifice one single word of the truth in order to keep anyone, man or woman around.”

        I think this captures the ideal strategy really well.

        We do want to support female allies, as long as its not the expense of truth… We will not soften the truth, make facts about women less harsh, just to make it “easier for women to join”.

        At the same time, we don’t want to purposefully go out of our way alienate women… which is what a lot of people here do.

        ====
        I think the simplest way to put it, is like this:

        “We treat women exactly the same as men”
        ====

        That’s it. We don’t give them special leeway or go out of our way to make the movement more “female friendly. At the same time, we don’t go out of our way to make them jump through more hoops.

        I mean freaking honestly. Some of the comments that women posted were met with so much hostility, even though objectively they were exactly the same as new guys in the movement.

        The only reason they were met with so much hostility was because there was a female name in the nickname.

        ======
        Here’s the official definition of power:
        ======
        “Person A has power over Person B, to the extent that person B performs differently than if Person A was not present”
        ======

        Do you get that part guys? If you act differently because a woman walks into the room, that means she has power over you. That means even if you act negatively. If you were super-positive before a woman walked into your group, and now you’re negative… guess what? That means she has POWER OVER YOU.

        So all of these guys who get prissy and emotional whenever they see a female name… You’re not “winning power back”, you’re just demonstrating your powerlessness.

        If you react differently to a comment if it has a female name on it, what does that mean? It means you are demonstrating that the concept of “female” holds power over you, and you’re just demonstrating your powerlessness.

        1. Okay, ignoring your condescending “rant” comment as you really don’t know me, I’ll cut to the chase.

          The vast majority of those sympathetic to the men’s movement are indisputably men. Most of those men will have experienced the misandry inherent within our culture directly and personally; be it that they’ve been dragged through the family or divorce court, or been passed over for promotion at work for a lesser qualified but female co-worker. Women, if they recognise or understand misandry at all will experience it through a proxy. “My son has been unfairly treated”, “My husbands ex treats him poorly”, “Poor Bob had his children taken from him and he’s such a nice man” etc

          These are very different perspectives, very different experiences and although an imaginative, sensitive and intelligent individual woman may have some measure of empathy and understanding of what men may feel they can never fully appreciate what it is to be a man.

          Basically put, a woman can walk a mile in men’s shoes, but she can take them off – we men take our shoes to the grave, in many instances literally. A woman can fight for equal custody of children for men but at the end of the day she can shrug her shoulders and go back to her life because.. well because she can, she gets to keep her children.

          For most of the men here this isn’t an academic ideological exercise in social egalitarianism, we are fighting for our liberty, our children, our livelihoods and our lives. I genuinely appreciate any women who is prepared to stand up and support this cause but I see sites like this as more than a forum for discourse – it’s a banner in the ground.

          Feminists declared war on men, and the ‘common’ women is merely a unwitting mercenary, fighting for whichever side promises the greatest spoils and our governments pay women well – and the worst of it, MEN literally pay women to fight men!

          This site, and others like it, are our mustering ground! There’s an inexorable swell of anger and outrage building and it’s eventually going to explode, initially I believe, through sites such as this.

          What I am clumsily trying to say is, the Men’s movement is really for men – it’s priority should be men. It’s focus should be men.

          On that we all agree.

          But remember it is anger and outrage that has drawn us together, we are all bound by these emotions – emotions. As men we live our day-to-day lives stoically, we are not women or children, if we weep publicly people turn their backs in shame and embarrassment, if we lash out in frustration we go to jail.

          We merely endure, there are no ‘White Knights’ for men, we must slay ‘the dragon’ ourselves or perish. This is our safe place to vent, to rage and with each new misandric law or shared experience our discontent grows. Our emotion builds.

          And to clarify:

          Women DO have power over us.
          We ARE powerless.
          We ARE angry.
          We ARE desperate.
          We ARE frustrated.

          I think that’s the whole point.

          Having women post here is like dripping blood into shark infested water, probably not a good idea if you’re not a shark!

          Any sane woman posting here must EXPECT a certain amount of animosity – we may be men but we’re still human.

          It’s not just woman, White Knights and manginas are equally prey to our rage. Better we vent in a ‘male only’ space than to have our repressed anger coalesce into genuine hatred, we have all regrettably seen how that tragically ends – violence, bloodshed, hatred and fear. Remember the École Polytechnique massacre?

          So let the lambs (female posters) walk among the hungry wolves but don’t expect the wolves not to snap and bite; and don’t blame the wolves for doing so, the lambs enter of their own free will.

          1. Watcher…
            You’re a pretty good writer…
            have you submitted any articles or anything??
            also:
            I agree 100%

          2. You’re too kind !!SPARTA!!
            (Excellent name)

            But I I’m sure my childish scrawl is nowhere near the mark for this site.

          3. But I I’m sure my childish scrawl is nowhere near the mark for this site.

            Actually, I disagree. I would seriously consider a submission from you at any time. I sure as hell enjoyed reading your comment.

          4. Wow, this is an incredible comment. What Watcher says about women’s support is so true.

            How many women have the ability and desire to use their imaginations to understand what men go through?

            And why would they intentionally reduce the quality and options in their lives, for something as abstract as justice and decency for men?

            Watcher: “Basically put, a woman can walk a mile in men’s shoes, but she can take them off – we men take our shoes to the grave, in many instances literally.”

            If a woman would take those shoes off after some nasty comments and downvotes here, then she would surely do so soon after discovering the scorn received for speaking about misandry in the real world.

          5. “””So let the lambs (female posters) walk among the hungry wolves but don’t expect the wolves not to snap and bite; and don’t blame the wolves for doing so, the lambs enter of their own free will.”””

            Well I agree with that too. In fact I’m speaking to both sides. To the women I say “Listen, I know you might feel like you’re being treated unfairly by being assumed to be a man-hating bitch from the get-go, but you have to realize we’re here because we live in a society that has been treating men like crap. In fact, most of these men have had personal experiences of their lives ruined and torn apart at the mere word of random women, and how women felt like. And guess what… Those women appeared “nice” at first too. So you have to be ready to deal with some level of animosity too”.

            So yes, its normal to expect women to have to deal with some level of suspicion and animosity, and rightly so… After what a lot of guys have been through, its unfair to ask them to remove “all” suspicion… And… That’s not what I’m asking.

            What I’m saying is that the animosity and anger needs to be *tactical* and strategic. It should be optimized for results. Right now, this movement in a lot of ways like a bunch of rambos running into a burning village, shooting grenades left and right. That only works in the movies.

            Remember, tactical and strategic. It should be about results.

            I thought women were the emotional ones, no? So why are we acting it? A lot of these guys act on emotion, not carefully plotted out strategy and tactics.

            Venting is fine and has its place, but it should be in a finely structured and thought out frame and directed for effectiveness. Right now we’re just throwing grenades in the middle of the same room we reside.

          6. And YOU are throwing grenades at MRAs.

            Accusing them of anger when it’s you that is most angry – posting paragraphs upon paragraphs ranting and swearing about the men here.

          7. “And YOU are throwing grenades at MRAs.”

            Not really, I’m the guy going “dudes, we’re in a confined room and you’re throwing grenades, we can get hurt from the shrapnel, how about we chill and strategize first before we go out guns blazing?”

      2. Thanks for being inviting. I would never want truth to be sacrificed just to keep people happy, and you can expect the same from me (wink).

        I probably won’t contact privately, and this is not because I’m afraid of the issues, I just prefer this forum, if that’s alright. Maybe later it’ll change.

        I’m thinking of starting a blog myself (hey, everyone’s doing it, right?) about the common ground. I think there is more than we realize. The jaded souls who have been through terrible pain at the hands of the opposite sex may not see clearly, as may those who have never been hurt.

        Here’s to the truth!

        1. I’ve never read your comments, but apparently you did have some inflaming remarks, whether you intended it or not. Can you explain them?

          “””“I really don’t understand the point of this website. The least discriminated member of society (white men) is crying out for a voice? Silly pants. What are you guys so angry about? Is it ruling the world, or making the most money? I can see why you’d be so upset.”””

          Did you say this sasha? If so, it truly was an inflaming remark. In fact, you made fun of the fact that “white guys” could even possibly be disadvantaged in any way shape or form. (ironically, our movement is a lot less white than other movements, and in fact, the ethnic makeup is as diverse as the general population).

          Now, on the ignorance, that is fine. Heck, even most of us didn’t know how much bad men have it in society until we got this movement. I mean we only knew it intuitively by feeling the misandry. We ourselves had to reach this movement to learn the facts, the anti-male laws, the actual statistics etc… etc..

          My question is… Why did you phrase it in a mocking tone? If you truly were open to learning, why did you begin by mocking the people you want to learn from?

          You could have stated it differently, by maybe saying something like “I’ve been told and led to believe by feminists all my life, that white men have all the power, yet this website claims that men are angry about mistreatment. I don’t know whom to believe. Anyone can clue me in on this?”

          So you’re not automatically agreeing, and open to learning. But at the same time not mocking.

          SO… What’s your explanation for your inflaming comment? Will you apologize for the way in which you barged in?

          1. Careful Alek, you’re not being indifferent enough. Sasha is obviously holding power over you.

            It’s very simple. The official definition of power is that one acts differently because another is there. I learned that from you.

            Now, if Sasha wasn’t here, would you have addressed a post to her?

            Hmmm … NO! I don’t think you would have done.

            So, you reacted differently because Sasha is here.

            Sasha has power over you, and this is evidenced by your post.

            Look, you’re even begging her to apologise for her remarks, rather than calling her out for the anti-male troll that she obviously is.

            Learn to be indifferent, Alek. Women like Sasha thrive on all the lovely, yummy attention men like you give them. Just like any bully, they stop once you ignore them. They especially love it when men beg for them to stop.

          2. “”Hmmm … NO! I don’t think you would have done.

            So, you reacted differently because Sasha is here.

            Sasha has power over you, and this is evidenced by your post.””

            You’re trying to avoid the point through clever sarcasm. Of course sasha has power by simply posting here, and hence influencing me to respond to her. And you have power over me now by posting a clever and challenging post that influences me to respond. But this is “sasha and snark” having power over me. Its not a case of “man” or “woman” having power over me. Do you understand the difference? You, snark, as an individual are influencing me, not the fact that you’re a man.

            The point is that the concept of “woman” should have no power over us. Do you get the distinction?

            If you walk down the beach, and there’s a woman and a man drowning, and you run to help the woman, then the concept of “woman” has power over you. You choose to help the woman, because she’s a “woman”.

            What I’m talking about is indifference to “woman” or “female”. Guys who get in an emotional state because they see a female name, are letting “woman” control them.

            Do you understand this? If you’re acting differently and getting angry because “woman” walked into the room. Then “woman” has power over you. You’re letting the concept of “female” control your life. You’re still controlled by pussy power as much as white-knight is. You’re letting your emotions be controlled and ruined by pussy power.

          3. I’m not an anti-male troll! Gimmie a break! And I certainly don’t thrive on this attention, I didn’t even think I was getting any attention!

            I’ll admit, I’ve made some dumb remarks, but I’ve since learned a few things about this site, and some of the people on it, and i was reacting to mine and their ignorance.

            Trying to stretch oneself can be a painful process – didn’t mean to rub anyone the wrong way – you know the internet, the best place to be an anonymous tough-guy, but that’s sort of an oxymoron, hehehe.

          4. You have a point, but my attitude has somewhat evolved in the past weeks, as you may have noticed if you felt like reading everything I wrote, rather than picking one of the dumbest things I said.

            I didn’t understand this website AT ALL, and my first comments obviously reflected that. I also did say I “stand corrected” on the white men remark.

            I could’ve stated a lot of things differently. Interesting how we act, isn’t it, when we’re pissed off. If you paid attention to my other posts, you would’ve seen a turn around in my attitude as I learned more about what this site stood for.

            I was initially responding to the hatred aimed at Jasper, whom I know very well. Many people from this site fired at him before fully knowing what his mission is too.

            I think it would do us all well to read and research first before firing our mouths off.

          5. The problem with Josh Jasper and YOU Sasha, is that we only have words and actions to judge and we don’t have any real evidence to evaluate the truth of your words.

            I still think Josh Jasper’s hate campaign is disgusting and your knee jerk reactions were just as disgusting.

          6. Well, you’re right about that (only have words and actions to judge), but I thought MRM’s had a hate campaign before I read more.

            Could it be, you may be having a knee-jerk reaction?

          7. Yep, it’s a knee jerk reaction that I don’t trust people until I have reason to trust them. When people have lost that trust through their words and actions, I need evidence to convince me otherwise.

            Josh hasn’t convinced me yet because he hasn’t admitted the error of his ways and hasn’t provided any evidence that Riverview does not follow feminist ideology. In fact, Josh’s disgusting video is very convincing that Riverview does follow feminist ideology.

          8. Well, it was a stupid, low budget commercial dealing with one aspect of violence: men’s violence against women. There is, as we all know, many many other aspects of violence including women’s violence against men, and children.

            Regardless of the clunkiness of the commercial, it was never to demonize men, but I guess I can say that until blue in the face- this is a beaten dead horse.

            As far as ‘error of ways’ is concerned, he is launching a campaign to draw greater awareness to violence against boys, men, and misandry in general. Responding to the outcry is different than packpeddling, and I think it’s a good 1st step. Nobody’s perfect, all in all, he’s doing good for the community, IMO – not that my opinion means much here. I’m not his spokesperson, just trying to lay out how we all have things to learn, and false assumptions, and mistakes made.

          9. In all honesty, Sasha, yes, you can say that until you are blue in the face and that commercial is still geared to demonize men.

  34. Paul

    Your picture in the about section doesnt cast you in a very good light. It literally makes you look “shady”. You might want to uncross yours arms also. You seem a little defensive. Other than that, it looks like you might have some good points.

    1. Gee, shady, eh? I call your attention to the tree I was standing under. It had all this shade under it.

      And if you think there might be “good points” here, you might stick with that rather than a photo review. This is not a female centric site so it is not about image.

      Just substance.

      Have any?

      1. Paul… thank you for defending the rights of all people… whether they are black, white, male or female. I guess the person thinks that Dr. King and Gandhi were “defensive” “rabble rousers.”

    2. Actually, titfortat –that’s a pretty cool picture of Paul in New Zealand and some great articles came out after that trip.

      The photo exudes confidence.

      And if ever anyone earned the right to be defensive…it’s an MRA having to explain a photograph.

      Throw one of yours up there…let’s see whatchya looks like.

      Izzey

  35. Paul,
    Keep going with your fine efforts. You ARE making progress, but there is a long way to go. To give you an idea, do a Google AdWords seach for terms, to learn how many Google searches are done for each term and you will see just have far men have traveled, which is not that far.

    Term Global Monthly Searches
    —— ——————————-
    Sex 338,000,000
    Gay Sex 3,350,000
    Feminism 368,000
    Rights of Women 135,000
    Feminist movement 22,200
    Men’s Rights 3,600
    Paul Elam 390

    If one assumes that Google searches are a reasonable barometer of the awareness of men’s issues, it appears that the vast majority of men are still pursuing sex and not at all interested in men’s issues.

    1. Who Googles ‘sex’ when looking for porn? Do these people not have ANY kind of preference?

  36. You guys should just start fucking dudes, cause there is no women that i’ve ever met (that are attractive or intelligent in any way at all) that would put up with the misogynist bullshit displayed on websites like this. I too am an American white male: but unlike you cavemen who have penis issues, I don’t feel the need to call women cunts or rant about how ‘oppressed’ I am. Cowards on the internet with mommy issues that probably dated some slut that cheated on them so now they hate women. Get a fucking life you fucking losers- I know this rant is pointless and stupid, but I just can’t help it. Bunch of scumbags with hurt feelings…. CRY ABOUT IT…

    1. I know this rant is pointless and stupid, but I just can’t help it.

      Hey, you said it before I had the chance to.

      Get off your knees and wake up.

    2. You’re not a man. No man calls another guy a “caveman” or uses the pink whip to try to shame people he disagrees with. We men use our words and our brains like “big boys” to describe why someone is WRONG, we don’t apply “appeal to force” ad hominems. I’ve also met very few men who call other men “losers”. To a man,another man’s social status is usually of no importance.

      Nice try lady, but you would do well to actually have an idea of how a man thinks before attempting to imitate one.It’s obvious you don’t have a clue.

      Also, I’m just curious, what the fuck is a “penis issue”? I don’t have an issue with my penis, feminists do.

  37. Being a counselor myself, i am appalled at your blog. You should take your own advice as stated in the above comment ^ and get off your knees and wake up.

    1. If you really are a councelor…not much should appall you.
      Maybe you should find another line of work.

      “Appalled” is a heavy-duty emotion that may interfere with objective sound advice.

      Izzey

  38. Damn, thanks Paul, for everything you do for society, I joined just a few minutes ago. I’m only nineteen years young, I want to become a real MRA, not just one on the internet.

  39. Paul, we just had a “SlutWalk” in Toronto to protest a police officer’s misstatement during a press conference. It’s been covered in our national newspapers – the Globe & Mail, the National Post, and the Toronto Star, as well as in the local indies – NOW Toronto and Eye Weekly.

    With people like Tina Fey telling people to “suck my dick,” I’m sure glad there is a voice of reason amidst the lies.

    Keep doing what you’re doing – the truth can’t be contained.

  40. Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive

    While I support what you do, I can never support a group that has ‘writers’ like B.R. Merrick on it writing articles like “pretty frickin cool” that seem to introduce an element of homosexuality in this group. A descriptive writer is one thing but putting that insidious level of homosexuality in a group that is pro men’s rights is not a place to do it. Especially when there may be vulnerable people looking for genuine answers. It would be a shame to lose support from men because of something like that.

    That being said, what you are doing is an invaluable resource and truly deserves the recognition it receives. I hope your influence grows but I do hope that subject I just mentioned above gets directed away from this site. Good luck, Paul.

    1. How do you “introduce an element of homosexuality”? It sounds like a chemistry experiment. “And now,folks, I will introduce the element HOMOSEXUALITY,which is number 170 on the periodic table and has an atomic mass of 44, into the environment,watch this reaction closely.”

    2. Oh, God. It’s back. Mention that you’re gay, tell some dirty jokes, and everything you have to say from that point forward will be tainted with the foulness of your sexual preference.

      However, having re-read what Paul has to say above has reinvigorated me to put up with these types for as long as I can possibly stand it. I’m not sure what the men’s movement will do without the contributions of Mr. Homosexuality_will_always_be_divisive, but perhaps we’ll manage. I’ll miss his brawny intellect, his muscular free will, and his sinewy prose.

      1. Hey, B.R.,

        My take on these clones is to generally treat them like I do fembots, manginas and white knight. First, as always, give them a fair chance to make a cogent point. Then when they fail miserably at that, I let them stay just long enough to get down voted back into the shit hole they came from, then ban them but leave their idiotic posts up for all to see.

        Sort of like the dead cow next to the watering hole, their presence here is a sign to other haters that come in here thirsty.

        Drink at your own risk.

  41. Thought everybody might find this funny/appalling – PETA offers to neuter men during National Infertility Week:

    PETA offers free vasectomy

    by Daniela Syrovy

    “In the latest shock marketing effort from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) the organization is offering a free vasectomy.”

    “To qualify, you must show proof that you have recently spayed/neutered your cat or dog and answer the question “Why should PETA neuter you?” The idea is that human overpopulation is crowding animal life on the planet and cat and dog overpopulation is creating a euthanasia crisis. So fix your animal and then fix yourself! Voila!”

    “Human overpopulation is indeed the cause for the degradation of our environment. Between the deforestation, water shortages, the depletion of natural resources, and general decay of the earth we clearly shouldn’t be making so many babies. So free vasectomies to those that are game is a great notion. At least in theory.”

    “Here’s why the campaign works; like all PETA publicity stunts it attracts a lot of attention. A free vasectomy is slightly controversial and it gets people talking.”

    “But here’s why it doesn’t work: PETA has gone too far. In their announcement they declare that “During National Infertility Awareness Week (April 24 to 30), PETA will give one free vasectomy to a man who has recently had his companion cat or dog neutered.””

    “Sorry, say again? In honour of National Infertility Awareness Week? A week that is meant to shine light on the disease of infertility, you will be neutering a man who by choice doesn’t want to have any more children?”

    “This is like holding a contest for diabetics with the prize being a lifetime supply of chocolate bars or sugar cookies. Evil. Pure evil. I know many couples suffering from infertility and to suggest that neutering your cat or dog has anything to do with not being able to have babies is adding insult to injury.”

    “What a complete slap in the face for anyone suffering from infertility. I understand that PETA wants to draw attention to its campaigns but perhaps there are more sensitive ways to do this.”

    “People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals need to think twice about pimping their ethics out for the sake of publicity.”

    1. PETA needs to think ONCE.
      Fricken dumb-assed terrorists. And, just stupid enough to support feminists. Actually they seem to run on exactly the same principles or lack there of.

  42. Paul, I donated! Who is JTO, the guy who recorded the rant in the last show… He is 100% correct, everything he said is spot-on. Can you put me in contact with him?

      1. The name of the organization should be A Voice For Mankind. That would be more accurate.

  43. Hi Paul,

    I just started a series of questions relating to men and women on answer.com,

    My 1st question is at:

    http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Why_law_gave_extra_protection_to_women_against_men—_Please_no_unrelated_answers_as_there_will_be_series_of_questions_related_to_men_and_women_I_will_choose_best_Question_and_will_debate_others

    There is a answer to my question: “The law does not give extra protection to women against men” By L Brohm, She is a Lawyer and contributer at answer.com

    Please help me for good start and best end to prove women are taking advantage of being women and are more protected than men, as I am not good in law references or cross references.

    Contact:bizpoleAThotmailDOTca

    Thanks,

    Asi
    Canada

  44. 02bgenderblind

    Wow! I guess this is present day “eye for an eye”! Anti- feminism is just as ineffective as feminism. Although your bio says you are not a “woman hater” your writings do not convince me you are not. There will never be balance. Men are usually paid more – women are favored in most courts. Men are (usually) physically stronger than women and can use brute force to get their way. Women will use manipulation as a resource to have their needs met. As a counselor I would think you understand the importance of acceptance. Accepting that things are “not fair” nor “in balance” will possibly create peace in your life and those you seem to influence. Isn’t that what we all need – less anger.

    1. Manuel Dexter

      A: What eye-for-an-eye are you talking about?

      B: “Men are usually paid more” – a lie unless you count longer hours and more dangerous work.

      C: ” women are favored in most courts ” – correct.

      D: “[men] can use brute force to get their way” – really? in what fantasy world? Anybody other than a police officer using brute force to get their way generally gets arrested and thrown in jail.

      E: “Accepting that things are “not fair” nor “in balance” will possibly create peace ” -Accepting prejudice, apartheid and denigration is what slaves do. Do you advocate slavery? Anger, by the way – is the correct response to abuse, because it motivates action to thwart that abuse.

    2. Dude you are fucking high. Try using that physically stronger brute force to get any of your needs met, sexual, legal, occupational. What fucking part about ‘state force’ and ‘prison’ don’t you understand? Female supremacist greed for absolution makes the great industrial capitalists look petty.

  45. Jack the ripper

    How much can a women in realtionship with a man get away with they’s days.

  46. Paul,

    I happened to stumble across your Youtube videos and I am inspired by your message. I’m in my 30’s and have never been married (thank God). I’m also not a baby daddy (THANK GOD). For once I never had to learn the hard way. It hasn’t always been this way by choice. For a long time I was looking for a wife but it never happened. I just think it’s my good luck that I never found a marriage partner. The types of women I’m attracted to are the types of women that most guys are attracted to – thin and pretty and they know it. These are precisely the women that you talk about. I just gotta thank the Lord that I never hitched myself to one of these leaches. I used to be sad about this. But when I hear messages like yours I know that I’ve been lucky. It helps me accept myself for who I am, not who I can marry and subsequently devote all of my time and resources to (even after divorce).

    You have a loyal follower. Thanks for the affirmations!

    Ed

    1. This just makes me so sad. I so-o-o don’t want you real-men to give up. There are good women out there. I have a daughter about to graduate (home schooled) high school and I HATE the thought that countless good men are withdrawing from “life” in this way.

      I know I cannot understand the fear modern men in a femi-fascist culture live under. I know that. But do you seriously understand what the bottom line is by quitting like this? It will be the 21st century’s version of The Black Plague. Carried by the vermin of feminism.

      I beg you to reconsider.

      1. Ma’am, from my anarchist perspective, if you want your eligible daughter to get one of these guys to change his mind, have her emphasize the “home schooling” thing to the hilt. Men will eventually see her as a free thinker. I would say that’s her best bet.

        …Well, that and if she’s pretty. 🙂

        Seriously, homeschooling moms are the greatest moms on earth.

      2. I know that what I am about to say will seem harsh, but the real world is very harsh right now, for men.

        First, just so you know, most men here will take some offense to your use of the term “real” men. And if you take an honest look at how you used it you will see why. Bottom line, a “real” man is one who steps up to the plate, putting everything he has and everything he will have on the line, and making it vulnerable to someone whose thinking and actions cannot possibly be predicted, except to the extent the odds say she will eventually take it all.

        I will wager that Ed (thanks for your kind words, sir) sees that and has decided that being a “real” man is somewhat akin to standing on the other side of a firing squad, hoping for a good outcome.

        Sorry, Ms. Stanton, and sorry for your daughter, that does not define a real man any more. That defines a stupid man. Principled and well intentioned? Yes. Stupid nonetheless.

        It is sad, but it is true.

        The way to fighting femi-fascism is not on the road to matrimony.

        Perhaps when the western world rises from the ashes of that black plague, it will bring with it what is needed for a return to sanity.

        Sane women and really conscious men.

        As much as I feel for your daughter, I feel for our sons. I respect your right to your opinion, but encouraging them to marry in today’s world is just offering them up as meat for the grinder.

        Nobody’s daughter is worth that.

  47. Hi all,

    in Austria and the whole Union you have to do gender courses, in your Ph.D. studies – even if you are studying physics. It seems to be, like it was in Medieval times. Nothing can be done without criticising “patriarchy”, demonizing males and young boys.

    It is a shame.

    1. Holly shit. Required female supremacist studies? In all Ph.D programs?! In the whole EU?!?! This thing has gone supercritical. We’re fucked. God help us.

  48. Hello Mr. Poul Alam!
    THANKS FOR GIVING A VOICE FOR MEN WHO HAVE BEEN VICTIMS OF ABUSE BY FAKER, ABUSER, FOLSIFYER, FABRICATOR, LIER WIVES!
    After I became totally disabiled in line of duty, my wife had always demanded me to move to New York and transfer the HUD voucher there to be near her 2 brothers who live in Montreal Canada. Her next demanded was to take my 2kids to Iran for summer vacation I am 62 years old with heart disease, lung disease, sleep apnea, Tardive Dyskinesia, 2 ruptured disc in lower back and my left leg has numbness, tingling and pain radiating from my lower back all the way to my L-toes, bi-carpal tunnel syndrome, left cubital tunnel syndrome, asthma, depression, anxiety attack, bleeding ulcers, hemorrhoids, and almost near dead. She has been abusing me physically, verbally, mentally and financially for 15 years while I was making good money as General Manager we had no problems at all. Just one year after, I became disabled in line of duty she slashed my face &neck neighbors called police she was arrested and taken to jail I had to pay to bail her out and attorney fees. Few years later she attacked me with a toolbox hit my L-shoulder that permanently disabled my L-shoulder even after total rotator cuff muscle surgery from more than 80% tear I still can not lay on my L-shoulder for one minute and have been suffering from pain and discomfort since then have not been able to use my left shoulder, arm and hand to do daily activities. She also fractured my left pinky in several places while she was mad and threw a20lb weight to my hand and has been threatened me to poison me, turned my CPAP off at midnights to suffocate me I ordered a new CPAP machine, but it was her turning it off nothing was wrong with CPAP machine. After I was not able to meet her demands she threatened to make my life a living hell. She has been calling police several times for non sense to establish a fake domestic violence case for me. Finally I survived a fatal car accident in 4/4/11when someone hit my car hard flipped it over and totaled it and I was unconscious for long time with severe pain referred to orthopedic department and I am still under physicians care. I am still suffering from that injury with severe pain. A few days after my accident she punched me in my achy head for blocking her friend (interfering in our life asked her to get divorce, take the kids to Iran) number called police that I blocked her friend phone police told her that was personal then she falsely claimed I also pulled her hair police didn’t believe her claim (I was suffering from pain on my bed that time with neck brace, L-arm brace and back brace I was hardly could move from bed) she begged police to take her to shelter because she did not to live here any longer, but police told her you have 5 hours to make up and become friendly with you husband and if it didn’t work call after 4 pm when 2kids come home from school police would take you to a shelter, one police asked me if she hit me I told him physically mentally, financially and for sake of my kids I never wanted her to go back to jail again last time cost me too much to get her out with her criminal record I thought they would keep her in jail for long time (I never intended to harm our relationship or for our kids sake remained patient all the time during her abusing and injuring me)put her in jail even if there were hundred opportunities for me to do that. After my kids returned from school she took the only car we had in our household and followed police to a shelter. I haven’t seen my dear kids for 1/5 months their school called many times regarding their tardiness and send me letters that my kids have bee unexcused absent for days, library books were over due I had to pat to clear them up and I received a letter from HUD section 8 that my voucher was terminated after 14 years was given to me due to my total disability& transferred to my wife due to DV and her being in shelter. I had to borrow some money and hired an attorney to appeal their decision before the HUD hearing they never provided any documents to my attorney no witnesses to be cross exam basically a police report and few fake pictures part of an arm with a browse from several years ago and a picture of foot (supposedly of my wife) she wasn’t present to be crossed exam. Then I received a call from police department that my wife pressed charge against me for that day she left with my kids. I am 62 years old have been living with honor, my son from ex-wife is a TRUE AMERICAN HERO for serving almost 3 years in Iraq war (unfortunately he was disfranchised from our family simply because her mother was African America and she always told my kids they did not need nigger, S O B brother even if my son and I had a good father and son relationship prior to new marriage but she never let him visit me and his sister& brother whom he loved so much or even call them), paid taxes and voted in each election with 2 Masters and partial PhD education who never bothered any one in my life and have been always a good citizen of this great country, living with integrity, helping victims all my life long supporter/member of Amnesty International, ACLU. With lots of illnesses and 100% disability and $650 SSI& SSA which I spent my last dime for kids and her and paid bills never purchased even a pair of sucks for myself in past 14 years. I married her unfortunately while visiting Iran in 1992 without back ground check from her and her family. She has been a huge consumer of taxpayer money for 15 years, never worked a minute or earned a penny since I married her and brought her to America from Iran. She has been in charge of my EBT card for buying food of her own desire and she abused $215 TANF kid’s money for herself and her family in Iran & Canada as well as purchasing long distance phone cards to call those 2 countries for many hours per week. DHR had tried to send her to school and find her a job but she refused to follow up by giving fake excuses such as headache and depression abusing taxpayers’ money, Medicaid and myself to co-pay for her doctors and medications to reach her ambitious& goals of getting SSI and other Government benefits. After some research I found out in Iran women usually use faked domestic violence by self inflecting wounds to gain upper hands in divorce, child custody and other cases against their husband. Please advise me what to do next? Thanks for your time and God Bless America and God Bless You.

  49. With apology I am resubmitting the previous summary of the most disastrous part of my life!

    Hello Mr. Paul Elam!
    THANKS FOR GIVING A VOICE FOR MEN WHO HAVE BEEN VICTIMS OF ABUSE BY FAKER, ABUSER, FOLSIFYER, FABRICATOR, LIER WIVES!
    After I became totally disabled in line of duty, my wife had always demanded me to move to New York and transfer the HUD voucher there to be near her 2 brothers who live in Montreal Canada. Her next demanded was to take my 2kids to Iran for summer vacation I am 62 years old with heart disease, lung disease, sleep apnea, Tardive Dyskinesia, 2 ruptured disc in lower back and my left leg has numbness, tingling and pain radiating from my lower back all the way to my L-toes, bi-carpal tunnel syndrome, left cubital tunnel syndrome, asthma, depression, anxiety attack, bleeding ulcers, hemorrhoids, and almost near dead.
    She has been abusing me physically, verbally, mentally and financially for 15 years while I was making good money as General Manager we had no problems at all. Just one year after, I became disabled in line of duty she slashed my face &neck neighbors called police she was arrested and taken to jail I had to pay to bail her out and attorney fees. Few years later she attacked me with a toolbox hit my L-shoulder that permanently disabled my L-shoulder even after total rotator cuff muscle surgery from more than 80% tear I still can not lay on my L-shoulder for one minute and have been suffering from pain and discomfort since then have not been able to use my left shoulder, L-arm and L-hand to do daily activities.

    She also fractured my left pinky in several places while she was mad and threw a20lb weight to my hand and has been threatened me to poison me, turned my CPAP off at midnights to suffocate me I ordered a new CPAP machine, but it was her turning it off nothing was wrong with CPAP machine. After I was not able to meet her demands she threatened to make my life a living hell.

    She has been calling police several times for non sense to establish a fake domestic violence case for me. Finally I survived a fatal car accident in 4/4/11when someone hit my car hard flipped it over and totaled it and I was unconscious for long time with severe pain referred to orthopedic department and I am still under physicians care. I am still suffering from that injury with severe pain.

    A few days after my accident she punched me in my achy head for blocking her friend (interfering in our life asked her to get divorce, take the kids to Iran) number called police that I blocked her friend phone police told her that was personal then she falsely claimed I also pulled her hair police didn’t believe her claim (I was suffering from pain on my bed that time with neck brace, L-arm brace and back brace I was hardly could move from bed) she begged police to take her to shelter because she did not to live with me any longer, but police told her you have 5 hours to make up and become friendly with you husband and if it didn’t work call after 4 pm when 2kids come home from school police would take you to a shelter, one police asked me if she hit me I told him physically mentally, financially and for sake of my kids I never wanted her to go back to jail again last time cost me too much to get her out with her criminal record I thought they would keep her in jail for long time (I never intended to harm our relationship or for our kids sake remained patient all the time while she was abusing and injuring me)put her in jail even if there were hundred opportunities for me to do that. After my kids returned from school she took the only car we had in our household and followed police to a shelter.

    I haven’t seen my dear kids for 1/5 months their school called many times regarding their tardiness and send me letters that my kids have bee unexcused absent for days, library books were over due I had to pat to clear them up and I received a letter from HUD section 8 that my voucher was terminated after 14 years. It was offered to me due to my total disability & transferred to my wife due to DV and her being in shelter. I had to borrow some money and hired an attorney to appeal their decision before the HUD hearing they never provided any documents to my attorney no witnesses to be cross exam basically a police report and few fake pictures part of an arm with a browse from several years ago and a picture of foot (supposedly of my wife) she wasn’t present to be crossed exam.

    Then I received a call from police department that my wife pressed charge against me for that day she left with my kids.
    I am 62 years old have been living with honor & integrity all these years, my son from ex-wife is a TRUE AMERICAN HERO for serving almost 3 years in Iraq war (unfortunately he was disfranchised from our family simply because his mother (my ex-wife was African American) my wife always told my kids they did not need a nigger, S O B brother.
    Even if my son and I had a good father and son relationship prior to new marriage but she never let him visit us “dad, his sister& brother whom he loved so much” or even communicate with him). I paid taxes and voted in each election with 2 Masters and partial PhD education (couldn’t continue my doctoral degree program due to severity of my illnesses and disability) who never bothered any one in my life and have been always a good citizen of this great country, living with integrity, helping victims all my life and long supporter/member of Amnesty International, ACLU.

    With lots of illnesses and 100% disability receiving $650 SSI& SSA which I spent my last dime for kids and her and paid all the bills & other expenses many times I had to borrow money to fulfill my obligations towards my family and never purchased a pair of shoes for myself in past 14 years. I married her unfortunately while visiting Iran in 1992 without back ground check from her and her family.

    She has been a huge consumer of taxpayer money for 15 years, refused to attend school, never worked a minute or earned a penny since I married her and brought her to America from Iran.
    She has been in charge of my EBT card for buying only her favorite food only; she abused $215 TANF kid’s money for herself and her family in Iran & Canada as well, by purchasing long distance phone cards to call those 2 countries for many hours per day.
    The DHR officials had tried very hard for several years to send her to school and find her a job but she refused to follow up by giving fake excuses such as headache and depression abusing taxpayers’ money, Medicaid and myself as co-pay for her doctors and medications expenses to reach her ambitious& goals of getting SSI and other Government benefits.
    After some research I found out in Iran some women are faker of domestic violence by self inflecting wounds to gain upper hands in divorce, child custody and other government benefits like Food stamps, Housing Voucher, TANF as well as establishing cases based on false allegations, lies against their husband even if they are like myself near dead. Please advise me what to do next? Thanks for your time and God Bless America and God Bless You.

    1. jEEEZUS!!! Sound alot like the movie Misery. I am a female and have experience with women who make false allegations. Here is their way of life. Never have had a job, always have lived off the government…afdc, medicaid, foodstamps and housing, smoker, terrible house keeper, sleeps all day, overweigh, unattractive, diabetic, plays lots of games on facebook.

  50. My husband is a newly registerd sex offender. He was falsely accused of child molestation in 1986, accusations in 1984 the same year the McMartin preschoold case started emerging in the news. He took a plea to avoid prison, and we both agree it was the best deal at the time to keep him out of prison. he received 5 years probation and a 250.00 fine. Fast forward to 2010. He is informed by our state that because of the amendment to the sex offender registration lwas in 2006, he must now register for the rest of his life. He is 45 and the charges were leveled against him when he was a senior in high school. We knew these people who accused him were still accusing people, but did not find out the true numbers until we started investigating them. We have uncovered 8 men and women that they have accused of child molestation. Not sure of those persons status right now except for 1. He has been in jail since 2008, and refused to take a plea. Thank God he is not taking the god awful plea. This will be the first time these serial accusers will actually have to go to court and testify under oath. I have personally done lots of work for this man. I have bombarded the city and county looking for cases these liars have caused. So what I want to know, is it legal to put their pictures up here even if no charges have been filed against them yet and I do not know if that will ever happen. Can I put a childs picture up here who is a known liar who was told what to say by thier mother?

  51. Sad, isn’t it? That someone, Paul for example, has to publicly proclaim his journey towards making right of a society more than headed toward and deep into the direction of wrong. And using factual data to support his views doesn’t
    appear to impact upon many used to hearing less than factual data on a barely examined one side of a story.
    The risk of your front and center approach to tackling this socially misconstrued behemoth is truly impressive, Paul, and inspires many. Continue to employ credible data in whatever method that is natural to you. The straight shooter approach can leave powder burns but usually finds its target.

    I’ve done my research and activism from the late 80s and most of the 1990s.
    The time spent in this regard may not have made many chips off the plodding intellectually bereft feminist iceberg and I may have not done it all that well but one has to speak when knowing that something is way off balance.

    Here’s hoping that you continue to receive support for your most laudable efforts. Thanks for your work Paul.

  52. gender foreigner

    Dear Paul:

    Thanks for your honesty and openess. What you says parallels EXACTLY the, “counseling” of, “Education (read: Feminism) in EVERYTHING. I have 20 years in the business…

    The Women’s Government Schools (aka, the Hitler Youth of Feminism) is one massive hate crime against the male race. What is more, the Government Schools constitute Government-funded, Government-designed & Government-administered DOMESTIC VIOLENCE by and of women (and their property, spineless men–the gender quislings). One must connect the dots of the legal and other facts that the staff act IN LOCO PARENTIS and therefore their offences constitute DV on a state-crime basis. As such, any Minister of Education/Education Secretary constitutes the M of DV/S of DV against boys.

    The above facts need to be brought home by MRMs everywhere and court challenges must be brought to bear against the Seig Heil Feminazis in their criminal industry. I would reasonably anticipate that the Feminist state would not see this strategy coming and would be caught with its skirts down.

    Anyway, again, thank you again, Paul.

  53. Hi Mr. Elam!
    My wife bit some of my computers in different occasions with hammer in front and back just like this one which I kept it and all of my grad school projects’ software (my 2 masters and 2 years of PhD programs were in Instructional technology means computers, software, projects, webmastering and so on. Severity of my illness and disability stopped me to earn my doctoral degree. These were all my life long assets also dumped in dumpster by her for no reason.

    [img]http://avoiceformen.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/ONE OF MY DAMAGED DESKTOP COMPUTER BY MY WIFE-1.jpg[/img]

  54. Hey Paul – I got to your site from reading commentary on the “Dear Woman” guys. I didn’t even register for the current “Super Conference” – or whateverthefuck it’s called, with “75 Facilitators”. I saw that as being an oxymoron and said to myself “Oh boy, here comes a heady, verbal clusterfuck if there ever was one”. Given the inclusion of the “Dear Woman” boys, it looks like I was right. All that was lacking was the inclusion of William Pollack. Bly is overrated, the only man in that “conference” I give a little more than a halfassed respect to would be Warren Farrell. Heavyhitters like Justin Sterling, you can be sure, were never even invited. Anyway, thanx for establishing this site. Even tho you’re no longer editor of the men’s rights site, I hope you’re still busy with giving a helping hand to men: Because it does help them, if in nothing else, to be able to say “Wow, I’m NOT crazy.”

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