It was inevitable. The constant news coverage of America’s sweetheart psychopath Jodi Arias, her lack of remorse, her claims of being a “survivor” while ex-boyfriend, Travis Alexander, lies 6-feet under and her list of “mitigating factors” for why she should not receive the death penalty for the brutal and pre-meditated murder of Alexander has induced a heretofore-unknown mental health condition in me.
WTF Fatigue
I have WTF Fatigue and am certain I’m not the only one.
In case you’ve been on a media blackout, Jodi Arias stabbed her ex-boyfriend, Travis Alexander, 27 times, shot him in the head and slit his throat almost to the point of decapitation with malice and forethought after having sex with him in May 2008. Guess she wanted to hit it before she quit it. Whatta reptile.
I will not detail the history of her relationship with Alexander, the grisly murder, her numerous lies, her “amnesia” about the details of the murder (while being able to remember the minutia of her sex acts with Alexander), her preposterous claims of being a domestic violence victim (while there is ample evidence she stalked and terrorized Alexander) and her equally preposterous claims that she felt degraded and abused by sex with Alexander when her sexts, voicemails, etc., to Alexander give new meaning to “enthusiastic consent.”
Rant tangent: If women don’t want to be “used for sex” then they shouldn’t use sex to try to get men (or women) to be in a relationship with them. These are usually the same women who serve the freaky deaky sex up on a platter straight from the get-go. That’s like being a drug dealer who complains the only time someone calls is when they want dope. If that’s what you’re peddling, don’t blame the customers.
And please spare me the happy horseshit about having low self-esteem and men “taking advantage.” There are women who do the same thing to men for money and status. If you don’t want to be “used for sex” then don’t use sex. If you decide to roll the dice and have sex without love and commitment, then be grown-up enough to live with the consequences of your choices should you not get the pay-off you want.
If you believe you have nothing more to offer than sex then stop watching reality shows, stop the mall-hopping, the bar-hopping and the endless navel-gazing, get some therapy, take some adult enrichment classes and become a more interesting person that has more to offer than 3-minutes in “heaven” and a lifetime of endless bitching. The same goes for men who believe women are only interested in you for money. If you don’t want to be used for your money or for sex, then don’t go fishing with it. Are there predatory women and men in the world who will take advantage of you? Yes, so don’t paint a bulls eye on your back. Arias is no victim. Sex was a tool to manipulate and control.
There’s also a red flag here, folks. Women who feel “used for sex” — especially when they’re quick to jump into bed — are telling you that they’re TRANSACTIONAL. They only give with an expectation of getting and sex is currency to them. If you have sex with this kind of woman, she believes you “owe” her. Arias didn’t get what she wanted in return for sex from Alexander and he paid for it with his life. End rant tangent.
Psychopath TV – All Jodi! All the time!
When I first read about the Arias case, I thought to myself, “Oh, another sociopathic borderline. Wonder if she’ll claim to be the real victim and manage to get off?” Miraculously, the Arizona jury didn’t pull a Casey Anthony and found Arias guilty of first-degree murder – even though she’s a woman and card carrying member of the Sisterhood of Professional Victimhood. Shocking, I know.
Even Arias was surprised by the guilty verdict and said she felt “betrayed” by the jury. WTF #1. (There were multiple previous WTFs. This WTF is when I officially began counting).
Specifically, Arias said, “It felt like a huge sense of unreality. I felt betrayed, actually, by the jury. I was hoping they would see things for what they are.”
Unreality? You mean like when Alexander’s family and friends learned their loved one was butchered and left for dead in a pool of blood? In true BPD-sociopath fashion, Arias shows no compassion for her victims and their feelings and reserves compassion exclusively for herself. Furthermore, last time I checked, murder is a crime. Seems to me, the jury would have betrayed U.S. law by acquitting her. This was not a crime of passion nor was it self-defense. It was pre-meditated murder.
“See things for what they are” = “Believe my persuasive blaming and victim-speak and let me get away with murder.” Arias seems to have expected the jury to believe her contradictory, hole-ridden testimony as opposed to the evidence.
She banked on jurors believing her emotionally charged bullshit instead of the facts. But why shouldn’t she?
Lots of women get away with murder (sometimes literally) in Family Court and Criminal Court every single day. Just look at male vs. female conviction rates for similar crimes and who the winners are in the majority of Divorce-Custody Lotto cases. In that respect, I suspect Arias does feel like she’s getting a raw deal for being convicted of a crime she admitted committing because she’s a woman and should, therefore, be exempt from the consequences of her aberrant behaviors.
Arias told Fox affiliate KSAZ, “I would prefer to die sooner than later. Longevity runs in my family, and I don’t want to spend the rest of my natural life in one place. I believe death is the ultimate freedom and I’d rather have my freedom as soon as I can get it.” Textbook Borderline all-or-nothing maneuver. “If you don’t give me what I want, then get out! Wait, no, I didn’t mean it! Please don’t go!”
Sure enough, on May 21, 2013, two weeks after her conviction, Arias back-peddled like Lance Armstrong on steroids and pled for her life at the sentencing hearing. Her attorneys must’ve clued her into the possibility of appellate court and being released after 10 years give or take for “good behavior.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGJA0zlrkZ0
Arias wasn’t under oath while she made these statements — not that being under oath stopped her from lying during the trial. She has yet to apologize to Alexander’s family. She said SHE feels bad for hurting them. SHE feels “destroyed” knowing her actions might have contributed to Travis’ grandmother’s recent death. She said she did not mean to hurt them. No, she meant to hurt Travis. Intention does not negate consequence. Her feelings for herself are irrelevant, but that is her only point of reference — like most sociopaths, psychopaths, malignant narcissists and borderlines.
Arias said she avoided looking at Travis’ family during the trial for “a variety reasons [she] won’t go in to.” Many of my clients’ former spouses cannot or will not make eye contact with them after making false allegations and destroying them with the help of Family Court. I think this is because on some level they know what they’re doing is wrong and can’t bear to see their twisted selves reflected back to them. Again, this is about Arias not wanting to feel bad and has nothing to do with empathy for the Alexanders.
Arias claimed she has contemplated suicide since being imprisoned and wrote numerous goodbye letters to her family. She said she didn’t go through with it because she wanted to spare her family the same pain the Alexander family is experiencing. What a sensitive, caring person she is — much like some mothers who, when faced with losing a custody dispute because of their crazy and abusive behavior, murder their kids and bungle their own half-assed suicides.
Arias then confirmed my earlier hypothesis about her attorneys cluing her in to the possibility that a life sentence doesn’t necessarily mean life — especially if you’re an attractive, young woman.
“If you elect me your junior high student body president, I promise to . . .”
This is when the WTFs started coming fast and furious complete with an overhead projector (WTF). Arias argued that she should not be put to death because of “all the good” she could do if she’s allowed to live like:
1. Let her hair grow and donate it to a wig charity for cancer patients. Why, she’s already done this three times since her incarceration in 2008! She’s a real philanthropist as far as psychopathic, borderline personality disordered killers go. WTF. Frankly, I’d rather go bald than have her hair on my pate.
2. Teach her fellow inmates Spanish. Arias claims that since she’s been in jail, she’s received scads and scads of emails and letters from women asking her to teach them Spanish (guess they never heard of Berlitz and, by the way, WTF). Due to the trial keeping her soooooo busy, she just hasn’t had the time for bilingual pursuits. If she’s allowed to live, she promises to teach her fellow inmates in the “general population” Spanish. ¡Ay, caramba!
3. Start a prison recycling program. And this wouldn’t just help the women’s prison. “It is one small thing that could have a far-reaching positive impact on the community and the planet.” Ah, the grandiosity. Jodi saves the world one aluminum can at a time! WTF.
4. Teach fellow inmates to read. “I know reading has enriched my life by expanding my knowledge base and opening my eyes to new worlds and different cultures. I, too, can help other women, so they can add that dimension to their lives.” Guess she must have missed the books on her summer reading list about how murder is wrong. And really? Arias as an educator and mentor? Am I the only one who sees something incredibly perverse about this? WTF.
5. Start a book club “to stimulate discussions of a higher nature.” Look out, Oprah! Your book club is about to get an ass pounding! Here comes Jodi! I recommend Arias start with Crime and Punishment and follow it up with The C*nt of Monte Cristo.
6. Sell “Survivor” t-shirts to help “other victims of domestic violence.” This is the one that pisses me off the most. I try not to drop too many F-bombs in print, and if I were going to do it, this would certainly be the time for it. Arias is not a survivor. Arias is a murderer. She is a perpetrator. Abso-freaking-lutely shameless right to the bitter end. I cannot believe her lawyers allowed her to do this. Big shameless balls on this one. Any domestic violence shelter that accepts money from this psycho-killer should automatically forfeit any and all state and federal funding.
7. Do a lot more good stuff (*if the prison lets her). Although, Arias doesn’t know what the other good stuff is at the moment, she promises she’ll find many more ways to help fellow inmates, and you know, humanity. Speaking of humanity, oh, the humanity.
“A few things about Me, Me and ME.”
After making her junior high case about all the good things she will do once she is elected class president in prison, Arias began a slideshow complete with baby pictures, toddler pictures of herself playing in the sprinkler, toddler pictures of herself playing dress-up, pictures of her childhood trips to Sea World and Hawaii and high school pictures of herself smiling for the camera. Her argument seemed to be, “Please don’t put me to death for my crimes because I was a cute baby.” Guess what, Ted Bundy was every bit as cute as Jodi.
Childhood cuteness being used as a legitimate legal argument for not receiving the death penalty for a heinous, pre-meditated murder? WTF.
Arias then claimed her bestie from high school was harassed and threatened, which is why she wasn’t there speaking on her behalf — lest we forget who the real victim is in all this. Then, she made some vague references about her relationship with her father improving after she moved out, not having enough money to pay for heat in her first apartment she shared with her first boyfriend and it getting so cold they could see their breath, quoted Charles Dickens, talked about how her first boyfriend will always be “special to [her]” and more pictures of other ex-boyfriends. Then Arias talked about her different hairstyles over the years – all with corresponding photos. “Here I am in my redhead stage. Here I am in my blond stage. Here I am skiing. Here I am in Palm Springs. Here I am on a terrace — it’s on the ocean, but you can’t see it very well on this screen. Look at me, look at me! Look at meeeeeeeeeeeee!”
Is this a court of law or her Facebook page? Her Internet dating profile? WTF does any of this have to do with anything?
Then Arias showed some more ex-boyfriend pictures, talked about going on dates to live reggae and blues performances in Monterey and how the band dedicated songs to her and her then boyfriend, how she went on summer camping trips, hung out with colleagues after work, rode the aerial tram in Palm Springs and went to Chuck E. Cheese. What, no moonlit walks on the beach? Again, WTF?
Arias sniffled and seemed to choke up about how she will not be able to take photos at her sister’s wedding next year and won’t be able to hold her nieces and nephews. Every now and again she would make a cursory reference that Travis won’t be able to do these things with his family either and then quickly resumed talking about herself. It seemed like one of her attorneys had her edit those things in after reading her first draft in an effort to feign some semblance of empathy.
Then she threw a pity party about how she will never be a mother — unless some freak out there marries her, has conjugal visits and knocks her up. You know there’s more than one freak that would marry and have kids with this psycho, which she would undoubtedly try to parlay into a reduced sentence. Arias’ plea was essentially about how murdering Travis has caused her to suffer. From start to finish, she made it all about her.
“As some of you may know, I’m an Artist.”
Just ask Travis Alexander about her handiwork and Dexter-like photog skills. She’s a regular blood spatter Jackson Pollack. Yes, this narcissistic monster included a slideshow of her crappy paintings and etchings in her plea and bemoaned the fact that she won’t be able to do oil paintings in the pokey. Among her oeuvre are portraits of Frank Sinatra, Elizabeth Taylor and Elvis. WTF. Then Arias sniffled about how she will no longer be in family Christmas portraits. Narcissistic much? Heaven forbid she miss a photo-op.
“I was hoping to avoid trial, not the outcome (although, that would have been nice) and go quietly into the night. Are you getting my good side? Be sure to get my good side! Wanna see me do a handstand?”
Go quietly into the night? Avoid exposure? This woman is on every news channel, YouTube and all over print media — if there’s a camera and a mic, she’s there. This piece of work has yet to shut up. At one point, she was running a Twatter feed from jail ferchrissakes — she may still be, don’t know.
The defense’s fatal mistake was putting her on the stand and in front of media cameras. Had she kept her mouth shut and looked pitiful from the defense table, her cockamamie defense might have worked. Instead, they allowed Arias to bask in the limelight and the media has given her a platform. I’m waiting for ABC to announce Arias as the next Bachelorette. There’s already a Lifetime movie scheduled to air next month. Let’s hope “lifetime” is also the length of Arias’ sentence – without parole.
“It was never my goal to malign Travis’ character. It was my goal to preserve his reputation.”
Bullshit and WTF, WTF, WTF, WTF. She recounted their sexual relationship in graphic detail and in unadulterated predatory braggadocio. She tried to put him on trial for liking what some people consider to be kinky sex.
“I wouldn’t even harm a fly (or a spider.)”
This is one of the last lines from the Hitchcock thriller, Psycho. You would think someone on the defense team would have mentioned this to her. Too bad she didn’t show Travis the same compassion she shows spiders.
“Please spare my life. Not for me, of course, but for my family.”
This part left me especially incredulous. “In many ways, my family has suffered a loss, too . . . their hopes of welcoming me home someday were forever dashed [when I was convicted].” Unless Arias’ family lives in the same self-centered, unreality bubble she does, how could they even think that was possible? Again, this was all about Arias and her suffering with cursory mentions of the Alexanders’ suffering.
Much like Steven Alexander who, in his victim impact statement said he doesn’t want to see Arias anymore, neither do I. If the next jury gives her life instead of the death penalty, let’s hope part of the sentence is NO MORE MEDIA INTERVIEWS. NO INTERNET ACCESS. No intermediaries giving interviews on her behalf and no intermediaries blogging, tweeting and selling Arias’ outrageous tee-shirts and crappy “art.” If the jury really wants to punish Arias, they will put her away for life and prohibit her from any media attention with no chance for parole. No Geraldo interviews. No interviews of any kind. Nothing.
Here is a synopsis of the “mitigating factors” to not give Arias the death penalty:
I just don’t see how any of this is relevant. If Travis had murdered Jodi, would these points be considered compelling arguments? Of course they wouldn’t. If her defense team had any integrity, they would not have let her share her personal scrapbook and natter on about herself for 30 minutes.
Arias should have said, “I am both deeply ashamed and sorry for what I have done. Even saying this, I know there is nothing I can do to make amends for the pain and harm I have caused Travis, his family and my family. Even though I don’t deserve it, I beg this court for mercy. If you give me life instead of death, I promise I will be a model prisoner, stay out of the public eye and do nothing to cause Travis’ loved ones further pain. I am profoundly sorry and will regret what I have done until the day I die.”
Jodi Arias isn’t sorry for killing Travis Alexander. She is sorry she got caught and is suffering the consequences. Again, she feels bad about the consequences of her behavior, not her behavior. She believes she was justified in killing him, that he deserved it. If she were truly sorry for murdering Travis and for the pain she’s caused his family, she would not have tried to justify her actions and blamed the victim for her having killed him. She would not have dragged his name through the mud and put his sexual proclivities on trial. She’s not sorry for committing murder. She is pissed she didn’t get away with it and feels betrayed by the jury that they didn’t let her get away with it.
If I were a juror, I don’t know if I’d be able to sentence someone to death, even someone as richly deserving as Jodi Arias. I wouldn’t want anyone’s blood on my hands and cannot imagine being charged with that task. However, if anyone were deserving of the death penalty, Arias is it.
Shrink4Men Coaching and Consulting Services:
Dr Tara J. Palmatier provides confidential, fee-for-service, consultation/coaching/counseling services to help both men and women work through their relationship issues via telephone and/or Skype chat. Her practice combines practical advice, support, reality testing and goal-oriented outcomes. Please visit the Shrink4Men Services page for professional inquiries.
