On Feminism’s Infantilization of Women

Ladies, I give you Stu, one of AVfM’s many old hands. He is going to give it to you hard:

I have some news for all you whiny women. You become strong by having to endure, and put up with things. You become tolerant by exposure. This is why men are stronger than women to begin with, because we had to be, because we had to do the heavy lifting for ourselves, as well as for you, and the children. You don’t become strong, physically, mentally, or emotionally, by having every little thing that annoys you removed, and being protected from the slightest inconvenience… that… is how you grow weak and pathetic. You don’t become tolerant by being able to reject or silence, or censor everyone else’s view and opinions to protect your delicate little feelings… this is how you become a narrow-minded bigot who thinks your way is the only way that should be allowed… for anybody, not just yourself.

This is what feminism has turned you into. A weak, pathetic, physical, mental, and emotional cripple, who needs to be protected and provided for in every way… and can’t even stand a small annoyance without thinking the world must stop and devote its resources to removing that for you.

One hardly needs to say another word. However, I’ll endeavor to explain in greater detail how weird it is that someone I’ve never met wrote exactly what I think.

I shall now reveal what for me is rapidly becoming another operating premise: Humans have always been and will always be inherently and primarily emotional creatures. Eventually, we spout logic in relation to some level of emotional control. Logic and emotional control, however, ought not to be confused with ego, a remarkably sophisticated natural phenomenon visible in various parts of the animal kingdom; that reveals itself in virtually infinite complexity throughout humanity. As I see it, logic tries – or at least ought – to straddle both id and ego. Let’s make no mistake about it, however: Id came first and, no pun intended, came hard.

Babies have no logic. If they did, they’d get the fuck out of most households, as I see it. Being a baby is traumatic. There are no words.

What are words? Words are tools used by humans to quickly and efficiently communicate: requests, commands, emotions, artistic expression, emotions, education, debate, emotions, desires, emotions, sociability, warnings, threats, emotions, etc.

Did I mention feelings?

Anyway, back to id-babies: There are no words. Pretend the following is not composed of words and tell me whether you agree if it’s safe to assume that this is a general idea of what goes through the id-baby’s head:

Pain! Painpainpain Warm Other PLEASE! Pain! Pain!… Pain… pain… warmotherwarmother good… hmm.

Repeat every fifteen minutes from 3 to 4:30 AM. This will go on for a few weeks or months. Much of this will go on in some fashion for years. Much. Are you prepared for it? Where are the limits for you? Why?

Uh oh. Before the hugely emotional feminine creatures reading this think I’m dropping subtle hints about staying barefoot and pregnant, let’s change over to talking about working women and their apparent lack of confidence. Let’s see if, unlike infants, the pain they experience when enduring at least a portion of each workday in the absence of sexual harassment can be expressed in actual words. Here is an article on “The Confidence Gap” from The Atlantic. And here is a link to the cover, where we learn that men have “too much” confidence in the workplace.

Long, boring story short: The article basically says that tests were done, feelings were felt, and to quickly sum up, women mysteriously have a lack of confidence when it comes to taking on difficult and unfamiliar workplace tasks, and when it comes to positioning for promotion. Because men are more willing to take risks, they are considered to have “too much” self-confidence.

Too much.

Yes. Yes, it is too much. Stop taking risks, breeders. It’s the same as looking at her tits. Anybody seeing the connection to infants?

First Wave women (most of whom were white and middle class) complained until they got the vote. But the complaining didn’t cease. Second Wave women (most of whom are white and middle class) claim to have removed the stigma of women competing in the corporate, imperial work environment. But the complaining hasn’t ceased. Third Wave women (most of whom are white and low class) state that they have “liberated” women from sexual mores by making them into sluts à la Blanche Devereaux. But the complaining continues.

What if it simply goes on ad infinitum? What if there are just too many things to complain about? What if this is what the complaining is actually designed to do, like an infant complains because that is the extent of the infant’s logic? What if the social scientists who proclaim their advocacy for women embrace an ideology that, at its root, sees something “wrong” with society that has to be made “right,” otherwise, we shall experience less “progress”?

Then I can imagine that we will see more reports like this one at Third Age, where we are lectured by women who make more than their husbands that “when men refuse to share child care and household chores despite having slimmer paychecks than their wives, marriages often don’t survive.”

I saw an ABC News report that I can no longer find that said much the same thing. I have never met a husband and father who did not take on a great deal of household work. Much of it centers on the car, the lawn, the driveway, the walkways, the exterior, the roof, the garage, the basement, the machinery, the plumbing, the electricity, the poisonous fumes, the weather, the errands, the kids, the job he has to hold down, the moving of heavy objects, the garbage, getting items off of the high shelves, the diapers, and the finances. Who are these guys who hold down jobs, marriages, and reproduction, who do not contribute a substantial amount?

This is a report that freely admits that for these women, there is no glass ceiling, at least not in their own homes. Yet one woman is allowed to joke about how she’s beginning to feel like an ATM (welcome to Manhood!); and men still need to endure a lecture about how now that their wives are making more, they are expected to work their asses off at home just like their housewives would have. I’m sure.

Now we know the truth: It doesn’t matter. It’s not enough, and obviously will never be. By the way, you have way too much self-esteem about your job, buddy.

How do you spoil a child? Infants know no language. By the time she’s three, she knows the language. Communication on an abstract level is possible. Can she figure it out on her own? Chances are she can. Just ask the late, great John Holt.

We think of spoiled children as being given everything they want as far as expensive toys and clothes. Yet you can find rich kids that are not spoiled. How does spoiling then occur?

By, regardless of whether they’re moneyed or not, giving them everything they want. There’s a difference between being given something expensive as a gift, a reward, or payment for goods or services rendered; and being given the thing simply because you asked, or worse yet, because you threw a tantrum. Children are spoiled because, as Stu correctly pointed out, they do not have to work for it. They do not have to experience failure. They do not survive massive failure. The massive failures are the most important for self-esteem. For God’s sake, you cannot reach maturity without dealing with massive failure multiple times over several years.

This does not mean that a parent should do the exact opposite and deliberately sabotage the “unspoiled” child’s volition. You would expect a tantrum-throwing brat, however, to accuse a suddenly non-gifting parent of doing just that.

Feminism is a sickened ideology run mostly by women who view the world through the “progressive” prism: If they don’t see “progress” as they have already narrowly defined it, then the work of changing humanity for the better will not cease. We’ve had well over a century of “progress” now, but the tantrums will not die down. That is because human nature, to people who think in this manner, is an ugly thing. When ugly people succeed at fulfilling the demand of an individual used to getting her own way (because at some earlier time she felt oppressed), that individual sees an ugly outcome: “It doesn’t look right… It’s not a high enough percentage… Not enough women agree with me yet.”

There will never be enough of a percentage or enough agreement. Feminists do not understand humanity. They do not understand individuality. They do not understand natural processes, like human sexual evolution.

These women do not understand womanhood because they have some different thoughts, ideas, and urges than most women. It doesn’t surprise me that, although most lesbians are probably less concerned with feminism, many prominent feminists are lesbians; being gay in a society that has done nothing but denigrate and silence her views can galvanize a gal. I can see such an individual, with perhaps a few more traditionally masculine qualities, being less disposed for anything approaching traditional womanhood. The pain of believing you have to stay silent can easily be projected onto an unaccepting society that needs to change its collective mind so that such an individual can feel safer.

And then there’s Björk. I have no idea what her politics are (I keep hoping that someone who talks about music schools like she does has no politics at all), but I can tell you that such a free-thinking artist has no need for infantilizing social norms. Her album Vespertine was culled from spending days on end indoors while the sky is dark in Iceland, making noises with odds and ends around her house. She would record them, then use them in her electronically complex music, most of which she would write herself, or in collaboration with any number of male musicians. On occasion, she writes songs referencing her vagina. Weird.

And then there’s Julia Margaret Cameron, the great British photographer who started her career at the tender age of 48: “By the coercive force of her eccentric personality, she enlisted everyone around her as models, from family members to domestic servants and local residents [emphasis mine].” Another weirdo.

And then there’s Laurie Anderson, a bizarre yet successful performance artist who, as is clear in this Cameron-like photograph, made the very end of Lou Reed’s life worth probably every single hurt he ever had. And then there’s Oprah Winfrey. And Madonna. And Camille Paglia.

The list of individual women who don’t quite fit in, or who stand out as having accomplished something extraordinary, is quite long if one is paying attention. How do you get to such a level of expressive success if you are handed what you ask for?

Just read some of the quotes in this HuffPo article from famous women, one of them Björk, concerning feminism and the supposed lack of its influence on the hard knocks they undoubtedly suffered in the brutally competitive entertainment industry, which knocks surely included little to no reward for endless hard work, and on top of that, waiting for lightning to strike:

No, I wouldn’t say feminist – that’s too strong. I think when people hear feminist, it’s like, ‘Get out of my way, I don’t need anyone.’ I love that I’m being taken care of and I have a man that’s a leader. I’m not a feminist in that sense [emphasis mine]. – Kelly Clarkson (a tradcon?)

I don’t really think about things as guys versus girls. I never have. I was raised by parents who brought me up to think if you work as hard as guys, you can go far in life [emphasis mine]. – Taylor Swift

I’m not a feminist. I hail men, I love men, I celebrate American male culture – beer, bars, and muscle cars. – Lady Gaga, who apparently later told the LA Times she is a “little bit of a feminist.”

[I don’t identify as a feminist] because I think it would isolate me. I think it’s important to do positive stuff. It’s more important to be asking than complaining…

And if you complain once more, you’ll meet an army of me. – Björk (Okay, the second one’s not a quote from the article, but hardly a coincidence, eh?)

I’m not a feminist, I’m a humanist. – Madonna

By the way, did you ever see where that last one lived when she was trying to hit it big in New York? Sharing a bathroom in a building full of down-and-outs, rationing snacks from a local deli, and dancing her little ass off at Martha Graham’s studio. Speaking of Graham: There’s another oddball who didn’t need a women’s movement, and who remained largely misunderstood and under-appreciated during her lifetime, while she almost single-handedly invented modern dance.

No one handed it to a single one of these women. I never heard a story of a single man holding a single one of these women back. Every last one of them put herself out there and got smacked in the face on a regular basis. (Martha Graham had to figuratively give the finger to an Italian audience once.) If they didn’t, you never would have heard of any of them. They’d be in a middle-of-the-road, middle class existence with a couple of kids, a divorce or two, a mortgage, and a boring-as-fuck office job. This is called settling. There’s nothing wrong with settling, as long as you own up to it if that’s what you’re doing.

Feminists don’t understand the details of success. There is no meaningful success that does not follow on the lessons of massive, unjust failures. Feminists continue to blame phantom social forces and an ephemeral evil lurking within masculinity, even as every social force, every political movement, and a seemingly endless supply of masculine souls have kowtowed to the vocalized wishes of women for a century. Consequently, modern women in general are spoiled, and rottenly so.

This is always what happens when children are given whatever they want whenever it is requested: they are almost totally unprepared for when life will, without any coercion on the part of any other human, overwhelm the senses with burdens that come from angles and dimensions never considered. There will undoubtedly be feelings felt, and a subsequent subornation of rational thought. Worse yet, the spoiled that are unjustly made to suffer by the universe will not see natural cause and effect. This ensures that when the unstoppable shit hits the spinning fan, the fetid results will bring out more complaints, and the one that can always be relied on to be more visible by virtue of physical action will be expected to perform. When he fails, or when the memory of the honored requests has faded out of spoiled feminine habit, we can expect the banshees to wail again. And again. And again. And again. And again.

This is yet one more reason why Men Going Their Own Way is such a good thing: The requestee is absent. The requestor will have to look elsewhere: to her sisters, or inside herself. The five senses, with the mind acquiring information at a rapid pace, will develop: ideas, thoughts, reflections, emotions, and Socratic processes galore. It’s going to go off in a different direction with each one of them.

No more time for social movements. Time to get hands dirty with oil, grease, calluses, cuts, bruises, writer’s cramp, carpal tunnel, and paint. Long past time to stay late at the office, past 8:30. If the car breaks down on the way to an appointment, get on your smart phone and smarten up.

We won’t save you. Your rescue squad is too exhausted. – Björk again

Sadly, ladies, it’s the only way to grow up. You live in a world with occasional harassers and rapists, both male and female. Focusing on a handful of nasty sorts and assigning them all the same sex has distracted you, for decades, from reality. This is one of many reasons why I detest the phrase “reality television.” The complaints your empire is teaching you to have will not help you a single, teeny, tiny, little bit when life’s metaphorical tornado comes along and flattens everything you were building. The universe invented tornadoes, not The Patriarchy.

It is easier than at any previous time in human history for a female to start her own business, take up a new hobby, or make an instant online friend. It is incredibly easy for a modern woman to lie to a cop about a man, ruin that man’s life, and never suffer the consequences. You are far less likely to be imprisoned, or to receive harsher punishment. There is federal funding in the millions geared to helping you live longer and healthier by virtue of your sex. Schools are bending over backwards to admit you. Boys are raised not to hit girls. I can assure you, ladies, whatever you’re complaining about… shut up.

…and get to work. – Björk gets the final word.

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