The Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC), a feminist organization, recently designated XY Crew a hate group. XY Crew is the online men’s outreach and support group I facilitate along with Janice Fiamengo and others. The SPLC’s declaration is actually just the latest iteration in their long-running and frankly bizarre declarations about my work. Since the subject, and frankly the SPLC itself, are hardly worth significant effort to address, I’ll give you the short version for context. SPLC first named A Voice for Men (when I was publisher) a hate group. Then they said A Voice for Men wasn’t actually a hate group. Then they came back and decided A Voice for Men actually was a hate group. Then, once they figured out I no longer published A Voice for Men, they decided it was no longer a hate group. Obviously, that left them short one hate group, so they’ve decided that XY Crew will do.
Rather than bemoan all this over a group of grifters who lost relevance in the 1980s, I’d like to take the opportunity they’ve so kindly created to tell you about XY Crew. Five years ago, when I was still creating videos for social media, I set up a Patreon and started offering group meetings to patrons. Just a place to talk about life with like-minded men.
Five years later we’ve got 6 facilitators doing these groups most days of the week, covering everything from family of origin work, to personal growth and life challenges, to photography, to music sharing, to red pill living. We’ve served hundreds of men. Some of them showed up at our virtual door in bad shape, teetering on a dangerous edge. All of those who stuck around got better. Many are now embracing the next chapter of their lives with a positive outlook and a bit of wind at their back.
Something else rather remarkable happens at XY Crew. In the online world, red pill venues (like the rest of the internet) are wrought with conflict. Flame wars erupt spontaneously. Men who have so, so much in common turn on each other over minor differences. Entire MGTOW and red pill forums pop up then crash and burn just as quickly due to these petty and often meaningless conflicts.
What we have found with men, though, is that when you put them together face to face, even in virtual environment, they quickly establish a decorum that allows for closer, better relationships; relationships that actually serve to improve the lives of those involved.
Something else worth noting is the absence of shaming. That’s of particularly great value in groups of men who are acutely aware of and sensitive to the way society controls and silences men by shaming them. The men at XY Crew are free to be who they are, surrounded by brothers who are cheering them on for success and improvement.
Finally, and most impressive to me, is the atmosphere of absolute accountability that the men of XY Crew foster. Feminists have peddled the victim identity for women since Seneca Falls. The women who bought it, and that is a whole lot of women, have been left miserable, angry, and bereft of personal agency. The men of XY Crew have collectively rejected this path. Instead, they’ve chosen the accountable life. In terms of setting and achieving goals, of realizing dreams, they hold each other’s feet to the fire. It’s done with respect and consideration. I dare say it’s done with love. But most importantly it is done. It is the way men support each other when they’re free to be men.
You may want to ask, “Who are these men at XY Crew?” Well, I can tell you who we are. We are old men in the last chapters of our lives. We are young men, just entering adulthood. We are men suffering ruinous divorces and parental alienation. We are men reconnecting with our children and repairing damage after years of separation. We are men who’ve been falsely accused. We are men who have repaired the damage in our lives and now support other men doing the same. We are men who have been rejected and abandoned by our families for daring to be take that red pill. We are men with close, active family ties. We are MGTOW monks. We are happily married with children. We are trapped in bad marriages. We are white, black, Hispanic, Asian, straight and gay. We are from all corners of the real world. And we are all pushing, day by day, to make the best of the lives we have without compromise or apology to anyone. That last part is really what puts the hate in the SPLC hate list.
It makes sense in a way. It’s just the way the world reacts to men who get uppity and decide they have value. So, rather than just rely on the world as it is we built something better for ourselves.
One thing I should mention is that of the significant time and support all of us put into XY Crew, we deliver it to members for five dollars a month, and we never turn away anyone because of money. If you’re reading this, and you happen to be a guy who is going through a rough patch, or if you’re the kind of guy who cares about those guys going through rough patches, please consider joining us.
Oh, and if groups aren’t your thing, consider tossing in the 5 spot per month on our SubscribeStar anyway to sponsor someone else who’s been divorce-raped, or suffered the devastation of a rape lie, or who just wants to experience some sanity. Not to put too fine a point on it, but we are saving lives here. Drop into one of our meetings and ask around.
In closing let me say that writing this brings back some fond memories. It’s been a while since I’ve been at the keyboard. It’ll be nice to see my name on the byline again. Especially since A Voice for Men is no longer a hate group.
