Helping verbs

I’m going to have to watch my language on this one. There are girls present.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Words are important. Enemies of men know this, so men should know it as well. Semantics may be tiresome, but context, words, meanings, implications, and associations all play into the crap contained in this commercial:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhB3l1gCz2E

Let’s take a look at what the commercial claims in order to see if there’s anything wrong with condensing crap into a 30-second spot:

• Girls replied in the affirmative when asked if they were ever told that they should not do something because they’re girls.
• People think that girls have to be happy all the time.
• Be more traditional.
• Don’t do anything too challenging.
• Stories teach girls that they can’t really rescue anybody, that it’s always the boys who do the rescuing.
• 72% of girls feel society limits them.
• Girls should be perfect.
• Weak (are or should be?)
• Girls aren’t strong.
• During puberty, a girl’s confidence plummets, making her more likely to accept limitations.

At this point in the commercial, not only have I lost interest, but a litany of limitations follows, things girls decided against doing supposedly because society tells them they’re not supposed to, like playing a boy’s musical instrument or playing sports, since sports are allegedly not encouraged among girls (except for field hockey, volleyball, tennis, swimming, diving, hiking, ping pong, jump rope, cycling, running, jogging, ice skating, skiing, water skiing, dance, and gymnastics, all of which are boring and only included in the Olympics due to traditionalist political pressure).

I emphasized the part about being more likely to accept limitations because it is so telling. It reveals exactly what is wrong with feminism and society at their core, and how it seeps into the heads of impressionable girls who are entertained, informed, and educated by empire. It’s all wrong for girls in and of itself. By extension, not only is it also wrong for boys because boys’ concerns are not addressed (it is, after all, a commercial for a mini-pad); but because it sets girls’ minds against boys and a society that allegedly benefits males more. It reduces girls’ thoughts of boys to, “How come I can’t play?” It creates resentment when and where feelings are hurt.

I’m not sure I need any further evidence of the commercial’s disturbing nature than the presence of Hanna Rosin asking girls to write their gripes on boxes so they can kick them over. What concerns me far more is what she represents, and her presence only confirms the nature of the issue at hand.

There is a vital, psychological, and emotional difference between accepting your limitations (genetics or place of birth) and being more likely to voluntarily accept limitations placed on you from without (bad weather, social stigma, false beliefs, or skewed perception). The commercial’s statement about accepting limitations is clearly emphasizing the latter, to which I can only say, “Who gives a flying fig?” (How am I doing on the language? I know I said “crap” once, but I don’t think anyone noticed.)

Firstly, I do not see a society telling girls that they can’t. I went to school with girls for two decades, and we all took science, math, English, social studies, phys-ed, history, art, humanities, music, and foreign languages. Not once in two decades did I ever see evidence of a female student being told by either a male or female teacher, principal, guidance counselor, nurse, crossing guard or lunch lady that she couldn’t really do science. Therefore, I demand proof from every girl standing there in that commercial and whining to the contrary.

Secondly, let’s just pretend that Princessland exists, and that the ogres have stormed the castle where The Matriarchy were busy handing out test tubes, insisting on sandwiches with their beer. Not only does it only take a few minutes, but if this is all it takes to get you to quit trumpet, then you didn’t really get a lot out of playing trumpet, Your Royal Highness. Unfortunately for your argument, Jackie was the best drummer in our high school, even being allowed the virtually unprecedented opportunity to play a solo at a school concert. Fortunately for my argument, if Jackie grew up in Princessland, then she clearly demonstrated a whole lot of nerve practicing an almost exclusively male instrument for hours every day for years and years while ogres were banging forks on tables demanding grog.

This commercial perpetuates a falsehood with a little prance. Everybody has to stop and pay attention. It’s girls, after all.

What it doesn’t address is the undeniably heavy influence of the following in any child’s mind: government schooling, mass entertainment, Mass Media in general, and the corporate commercial environment available at your local just-down-the-street. To whom are all of these geared? Because if you want to talk influence, indoctrination, and social shaming, I’m all ears.

But feminism doesn’t get to the root of girl’s problems because the root embraced by feminism is the resentment of successful men: “The empire’s fine, the stores are great, we’ve got the vote, we’ve got the same schoolrooms as the boys, and we’ve got smart, sassy women on TV. What we need is whatever… that guy has!” Still worse, their heavy hand in the above influences ensures that the poisonous nature of their perverted beliefs will have an effect on everyone who hears, whether or not they agree.

Their argument begins with a girl’s hurt feelings, but the thought process shouldn’t end there. Regardless, the commercial takes as a basis for its conclusion what each girl paints on a canvas that she doesn’t realize has been painted for her: “If society tells you that you can’t do something because females are incapable of doing that certain something (an oppressive phenomenon that has been confirmed as real for you by Ms. Rosin Rosinadanna), then accepting limitations is perfectly understandable, and the resultant sense of failure you feel is someone else’s fault. This goes double if you’re having your period.”

Don’t expect the gynocentric culture to do anything other than stop, stare, and go, “Aww.” The minute a man shows that he can be nice to a woman or girl… aww. Guys can get hardcore tough with guys, up to and including breaking their bones in a game of professional football, but come pink ribbon time… aww.

Rosinadanna’s no fool. She knows danged well if you put a girl in front of it, all the guys will stop, because it’s a girl. What she’s doing in this commercial is emotionally manipulating impressionable girls, many of whom will now go forward with various triggers in their brains that go off whenever they feel badly. She is also emotionally manipulating grown men, many of whom have daughters, and who may also be persuaded to think that the girls in this commercial have a legitimate complaint. Yes, it is actually possible to get a grown man, when listening to his own daughter, to be convinced that just because you don’t see it or ever hear about it doesn’t mean that the oppression of the female sex at the hands of the male sex does not continue as it has for millennia.

What has actually gone on for millennia is that men have built civilization with the concerns of women and children at the forefront of their minds. It has always been a mark of manhood to defer to the opposite sex and treat them as betters: open their doors, pull out their chairs, stand when they enter, stand when they leave, watch your language, call her Miss, Mrs. or Ms., don’t stare outright at her boobs, and, since everyone knows that girls by nature are nicer than boys, why would she lie?

Men conditioned by the demands of civilization (build and maintain it, boy) and empire (now give your life for it, boy) are men who have been conditioned by cultural misandry, based as I have said before on two criteria:

1. Men are utilitarian.
2. Men are disposable.

Modern cultural misandry is actually far worse thanks to the ideas put forth in this commercial. Now, thanks to the influence of feminists crouching behind girls’ hurt feelings, there are three criteria:

1. Men are utilitarian.
2. Men are disposable.
3. Men are culpable.

Wouldn’t it be nice if this commercial were about girls’ feelings that hadn’t been manipulated and deceived out of them? Boys might actually learn something about girls that is useful. The only thing useful that they’re going to learn from this commercial is that no matter how nice she is, and she may genuinely be nice in so very many other ways; if she spouts this dribble, it’s in your best interest to walk in the opposite direction and keep walking.

The Always company has chosen to ally itself, however unintentionally, with hatred of men, and they did it largely through careful choice of helping verbs attached to the negative: cannot, should not, must not, never be. Semantics being what they are, one wonders what the commercial would be like, or how the worldview of these girls might change, if those helping verbs were replaced with the ones I could easily ascribe to behaviors and attitudes that are encouraged among boys: have to, must, better be, will whether you like it or not. Just see below for a comparison chart of the commercial’s claims and what I see in the broader cultural context:

Here’s the thing, girls: You are bound to be told that you should not do something because _____. I have no doubt in my mind that even sometimes that may happen because you’re a girl. For example: Once a month until your mid-50s your plans are going to change. Get used to that idea now. That’s the only thing the Always brand is good for.

People expect a happy exterior all the time from everyone. Blank ‘em. (You know… blank.)

Be more traditional when and where you want. You’re going to have traditions foisted on you by virtue of society, so good luck navigating that mess. The same thing is happening to the boys you know, and it’s bad news for them.

If you want to make it all about your sex and decide that it needs to be made into a political issue, then you’re never going to get anywhere, and you will find as you grow older that there is a higher number of men who secretly resent you. How is Ms. Rosin really helping you?

Most people don’t do anything too challenging. You wanna be most people?

The stories teach girls that they don’t have to rescue anybody, that they should expect the boys to do the rescuing. If you’re one of the 72% of girls who feel that society limits them, perhaps you’ll rethink the Disney animated film Brave, about a princess who rejects the opportunity to choose a suitor in favor of saving her mother with her bow and arrow. There’s a fine thing to inspire any girl.

Like the boys who have seen their sex represented as the sex continually having to fight their way out of danger, girls will eventually learn that the bravery showcased in fairy tales old and new has little to do with actual bravery, but merely serves as a metaphorical primer for the real thing. Someday, thanks in part to new fables like Brave, girls will learn, once they try to apply the lesson learned, that if it feels good while it’s happening or if you enjoy doing it, then whatever you’re doing can’t be called brave. If it were as easy as kicking over a wall made of cardboard boxes, don’t expect respect.

The irony is that this commercial was best summed up by a feminist-leaning sitcom back in the 80s. On an episode of “The Golden Girls,” Dorothy (played by Bea Arthur) is unknowingly speaking to her ex-husband’s bride-to-be just before the wedding, and hears directly from her concerning her own former marriage:

NEW WIFE: No one’s like her. She’s Superwoman. She was the perfect wife: cooked, cleaned, had two kids, got an education, has never looked better, and now she has a career.

DOROTHY: Oh, that wasn’t a marriage, that’s a commercial for a mini-pad.

This is why I write instead of public speaking. You’re supposed to open with a joke, not end with one. Still, I blame everyone else.