Former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky has been called to account for his crimes. Yesterday the 68 year old was pummeled with repeated guilty verdicts on charges related to the sexual abuse of boys; charges that could result in being sentenced to as much as 442 years behind bars.
It means he will die incarcerated, depending on how long prison conditions and other inmates allow him to live. As harsh as it is, as cathartic for the victims and their families, it still won’t return lost innocence or repair the broken lives.
A conviction was attainable. Justice is not so easy. And while Sandusky’s victims got their well deserved day in court, it is not a victory in the real sense of the word.
The real hope in this case, as in all cases like it, was that we, as a society, had an opportunity to learn the larger lesson; we could have gleaned, from the recurring nightmares of Sandusky’s making, some awareness and understanding about the nature of monsters and the devastating impact they have on the lives of male children.
In this case, however, as in all cases like it, we will learn nothing. In fact, the reaction to this case across the board demonstrates that the only lessons this culture is capable of learning are ones that teach nothing, ameliorate less and, in fact, make things worse in the long run.
Nothing illustrates that better than the sanctimonious mob coverage of this story, which is now spreading through the mainstream media like free crack in a tenement. That would be the same mainstream media, and sadly the same justice system, that would have quickly issued some kind of a pass if Sandusky were a woman.
The justice system, rife with the anti-male and homophobic leanings common to public sentiment, actually worked in this case, but only in spite of itself. There is a long and irrefutable track record to prove it. The trial results were a half victory regarding a half addressed problem, rousing cheers from a half aware public.
I can almost hear the groans now, some of them coming from MRA’s. I don’t care. The media coverage of this tragic story, along with much of public sentiment, is a myopic and ignorant mixture of misandry and homophobia. Sure, what Sandusky did was beyond despicable, and it hardly makes anyone misandric or homophobic to feel that way, but I have to wonder how much triumphant snorting and “justice has prevailed,” backslapping would be going on if Sandusky had been a straight woman.
[box type=”alert” icon=”none”]Author’s note: Yes, I know that Sandusky, like many other male pedophiles that target boys, is not “gay” per se. But we are not talking about his orientation as much as public reaction to what he did. [/box]
The question remains, though. Would the abuser in this case, if female, be given 442 years in prison, or a slap on princesses frail little wrist and a book tour? You know the answer.
The victims in this case were just lucky that Sandusky is a man. Without that, they would have likely never had their day in court. They only got some measure of vindication because their assailant has a penis, and in spite of the fact that they have penises, too.
Real public outrage is saved for the girls. As a society we feign indignation about what happens to boys, but only when their attackers are same sex. It is especially likely to produce a cause célèbre when the alleged perpetrator/s are linked to what is commonly perceived to be a patriarchal domain. Like say, football, or the Catholic Church.
Compare that to the media coverage, legal repercussions and public sentiment where it concerns female dominated areas like teaching, where the sexual abuse of children continues with no real public outrage. In fact, the reaction is just the opposite of what we are seeing in the Sandusky case.
For those of you who have not seen it, check out this World Net Daily article containing a partial, but still shockingly long list of female perpetrators, many of them special education teachers who targeted emotionally/mentally disabled boys for sexual predation.
If you went through that incredible list of perpetrators and added up all the sentences you would be hard pressed to come up with 442 years. In many of the cases you come up with little or no punishment at all. And in some cases, as with child molester Debra LaFave, you find women who are rewarded with public notoriety and adulation, even when disregarding court orders to stay away from their victims.
That is on the legal end. But what of the media? Well, the take on female predators from the Houston Press, a rag local to my area, was straightforward enough. They gave us, “The 10 Hottest Women on the Texas Sex Offender List,” which included such babe-a-licious offerings as Ester Welty, who was busted for sexual contact with a 4 year old boy, and Sharon Beth Faubian of Ft. Worth , who was given a six year sentence for the aggravated sexual assault of a two year old boy.
According to the records, she will be back on the streets about now.
If that is not sick enough, consider pedophilia advocate Adam Sandler’s new movie, “That’s My Boy,” a heartwarming tale revolving around a school boy who was emotionally and sexually abused, raped, by a female predator who happened to be his grade school teacher.
The movie sure strikes a chord with perpetrators and some of their victims. Known child abuser Mary Kay Letourneau’s husband, Vili Fualaau, who was groomed and sexually abused by her at 13 years old., and was later allowed to marry her, is apparently going to enjoy the movie with his wife/abuser. He is quoted in a recent MSN article as saying:
“We’re talking about my life and a young boy banging his hot teacher … what’s not to like about that?!”
One has to admit, with male victims rationalizing what happened to them in this way (which they often do as long as a way to cover the internal turmoil), it does make it harder on the victims suffering silently. Perhaps a more sobering look at other victims, ones not enjoying notoriety with their abusers, will help.
In 1994 David Lisak, Ph. D., interviewed 26 male sexual abuse victims, many of whom were molested by women. Unlike Fualaau, their memories of their abuse are not a source of sexual heat or the subject of good-natured banter with friends. In fact, their long term reactions, categorized by Lisak, are alarming. They are as follows:
[unordered_list style=”arrow”]
- Anger
- Betrayal
- Fear
- Helplessness
- Homosexuality Issues (for those abused by men)
- Isolation and Alienation
- Legitimacy (being able to take the abuse and its effect seriously)
- Loss
- Masculinity Issues (being OK about being male)
- Negative Childhood Peer Relations
- Negative Schemas About People (difficulty trusting others)
- Negative Schemas About the Self (feeling bad about one’s self)
- Problems with Sexuality
- Self Blame/Guilt
- Shame/Humiliation
[/unordered_list]
The Lisak paper includes interview quotes that were taken from a random sampling of the 26 victims. Perhaps child molesters like Letourneau, and pedophilia advocates like Adam Sandler should have looked past their own petty sexual gratification at the real results.
Said one victim:
I just had to put up with it. That’s the way she was. They were her rules. If she said I have to kiss her, I have to kiss her. If she says I have to hug her, I have to hug her. It was like I kept trying to fill her cup and it just kept running out. And she is standing there screaming “Fill it, fill it, fill it!”
And another telling young man who said:
So they [women] can see themselves as victims. Maybe they can see themselves that victims are okay, they’re good somehow, they martyred themselves. Some way if you can have a black and white, good or evil, women were good and men were bad. Well, I’m the victim, but I’m a guy, and guys are bad. So I can’t even be a victim, right?
It is almost funny, isn’t it? It appears like no one has to explain the issues of the MRM to a boy who is a victim of a female sexual predator. Just imagine what that means. Is that what it takes for some men to “get it”?
I am afraid the answer is yes, and that is a tragedy that we see played out across the culture each and every time this subject rears its ugly head.
How fucked up is this planet that in order to be seen as a male victim of sexual abuse that your perpetrator must also be male? It’s only bad, it’s only real, it only counts, when it’s a homo. We have a well-educated public. They know full well that boys cannot be harmed by women. They follow through with that knowledge brutally. So if a woman destroys your life before it really gets started, you can only hope to end up in a study that will be noticed by a few academicians and a handful of MRA’s. That is what we do to boys, after they are abused.
If you have a male child unfortunate enough to be molested, and you want any real justice or compassion for him, you better hope his assailant is a man. For male victims it is the only way that this society is going to give a shit about what happened to them. And that is only because they hate gay men, or men who choose same sex children for predation, about as much as they hate you.
