Talking about values can be a tricky affair. After all, who’s to say what values can we say anyone else has to live? There are certainly times when we do get to answer this for everyone. For instance, our collective value for the sanctity of human life demands punishment for murder in all modern cultures.
At the same time, our value for life collectively takes a nosedive when it comes to humans who cannot speak for themselves, such as we find in abortion.
In countries where we render swift and decisive punishment for killing a baby two weeks after it is born, we will look the other way, citing the rights of the mother, when killing it two weeks before it is born.
More disparity is found in other places. Canada, for instance, passed an infanticide law in 1948 that reclassified the taking of an infant’s life by its mother. From that point on, the crime was no longer considered murder. It is instead infanticide, a significantly less serious crime that usually carries a maximum of a year in jail with most mothers who kill serving no time at all. Instead, they get referrals to counseling and other support services.
We see even more evidence of this in systems of western jurisprudence where it concerns women who murder their husbands. The so-called “battered wife syndrome” is used to acquit women of murder and other charges who claim they have been the victims of abuse. That includes women who could have simply left the home but instead chose in a premeditated fashion to kill their husbands while they slept.
In the United Kingdom, women have beaten murder charges, and many of them have had murder charges reduced to manslaughter using premenstrual syndrome as a defense.
In a society that supposedly has the value of equal and fair treatment under the law, we see the undermining of due process in alleged sexual assault cases on college campuses. The same thing happens in the criminal justice system with rape shield laws and men convicted of sexual crimes in the absence of any forensic evidence.
We are increasingly seeing the emergence of women only train cars, parking spaces and even time at commercial gymnasiums being reserved exclusively for one sex over the other.
The list goes on, from VAWA to child custody decisions to the way child support laws are so unevenly levied and enforced in the favor of women. It even extends to which sex we sexually mutilate at birth.
What does this say about our values as a culture?
The answer is simple. Gynocentrism is a cultural value that has a tendency to trump all other values. It trumps the sanctity of human life. It trumps our constitutional rights. It even trumps our basic sense of human decency. And however goes the culture, so goes our lives as individual men. The greatest threat to a modern man’s personal values is not the temptation of greed. It is not the allure of success or the pressure to perform among other men.
The greatest threat to the modern man’s personal values is the modern woman. And that is a threat which men have historically failed to face — to their peril.
How many men, do you suppose, have allowed themselves to sacrifice good and trusted friendships because the women in their lives were jealous of the time and loyalty required by those friendships? How many beloved hobbies and interests have men abandoned because their women wanted them to occupy their time with things that were geared to produce for her? How many Steve Shives’ are in the world without YouTube Channels?
For those of you who don’t know who Steve Shives is, please view this video by Sargon of Akkad, in which he dissects a conversation between Steve, a radical feminist, and his wife, also a radical feminist. In the video, they both conclude that Steve is, at least, a latent sexist because he prefers the TV show Angel over the TV show Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And because his music collection is apparently male-dominated.
Aside from the fact that both Angel and Buffy were TV fare for kids and the intellectually unemployed, the lack of self-assurance and rote deference to his wife are plastered all over Shive’s face. Do You want to take bets on whether his friends have to pass her litmus test before he can associate with them?
Sargon nails it with the conclusion that this can’t possibly be a healthy relationship, and perhaps correctly lays this at the feet of feminist ideology but it goes much further than this.
This isn’t just feminism at work. In fact, in interpersonal relationships, feminism isn’t anything more than a guise for the more fundamental reality that in almost all relationships it is her values, her desires, and her beliefs that constantly pressure conformance in the man. Relationships based on romantic chivalry are a graveyard, not only for men’s desires and dreams but their values, their sense of right and wrong. All of it is co-opted by the force of gynocentrism.
That is not to give men a pass. The last thing men can afford is to hide behind the protective shield of victimhood. To put it in its most fundamental terms, most men will pair bond. And unless they are hopeless gynocentrists, they better figure out that relationships are first and foremost, a battlefield. If men are not prepared to fight, and to have lines in the sand that will trigger the nuclear option, they are doomed to fail.
To help with the fine tuning, it is better to understand that long term relationships are a bloody fight even without gynocentrism. You have two individuals, from two different family backgrounds, with two different sets of rules and two different ways of viewing the world.
After the honeymoon period, when couples have sex every time the door is closed, when they only see the best in each other, when neither of them can imagine that the other’s shit actually stinks, reality sets in. That is when the two very different worlds collide, and the battle begins to see whose rules are going to dominate.
It involves things as simple as whether you open presents on Christmas Day or Christmas Eve to whether you deal directly and honestly with problems or just bully each other till someone cries uncle.
It is a process involving countless complexities, and one that lasts many, many times longer than the honeymoon, often stretching into decades depending on the relative mental health of the people involved.
I have heard, and I totally believe it, that it may take twenty years or more for a couple to reach a healthy, mature love for each other. All of this happens without considering the gynocentrism involved.
Relationships are difficult because infatuation is transient, and because blending lives, which essentially means two people are having to live by an altered, unfamiliar narrative, is difficult on its own.
The problem in modern culture, especially with relationships that start on a foundation of romantic chivalry, is that gynocentrism is a trump card that constantly puts the man at a disadvantage. Like I said, if we can issue a pussy pass for murder, what are the chances for your fishing trips to survive? How about your Saturday night poker games or your video games?
And this is where men die. They die in spirit. They die in individuality, as does their ownership of their lives and happiness.
To be blunter, those things aren’t murdered. They are the victims of suicide. They are killed by the male’s gynocentrism and his weakness in the face of a woman’s demands. The pussy pass is issued by men, most often by the guy who has it played against him.
For every woman who walks on a murder charge, there are a million men who obsequiously bow and scrape like Steve Shives.
The solution to this is tough, and it isn’t for everyone. Some men are just not strong enough to allow their values and a woman live under the same roof. So they check out, often hiding behind bitterness and resentment. They convince themselves that all women, and not their failure to be strong, is the problem. They don’t trust themselves and don’t have the aptitude to develop skills to weed out problem women and to shut women down when they become irrational and unreasonably demanding. Their shame drives them to resent men who have those strengths and aptitudes and prevents them taking on the task of change.
My father once told me, and I quote, “If you can leave your values at the door, you never really had them to begin with.”
Of course, at 16 or 17, that did not elicit much more than a yawn from me. I guess my old man, like many fathers, got a lot smarter as I aged because today his words ring rich with wisdom.
I never saw a man who got destroyed in a relationship who steadfastly clung to his values from day one. And I am in a position to say that I have talked to a lot more men who were destroyed in relationships than the average person. The good news is that where it concerns values, men have the advantage. Most men are wired for accountability, honesty and integrity. Men, as a rule, have the capacity own their shit.
They are perhaps less consistent at it where it concerns women, but they have that capacity to overcome that unless they buy into an ideology that tells them not to.
So that is the thrust here. Do you have values? Keep them.
A simple example. Is loyalty to friends a value of yours? Then don’t blame a woman if you give it up. Be willing to look her in the eye and tell her that if she is unprincipled enough to force you to make the unnecessary choice between her and your friend, that you will side, not with your friend, but with your values. Hint: that is not good news for the woman-child giving you the ultimatum. But it is fantastic news for you.
Another example. Do you value yourself? And by that I mean are your interests in life, your hobbies, and pastimes important enough that you will make time and money for them? Well, if you do value those things, you won’t give them up because she tries to emotionally or sexually blackmail you to the point that you surrender them. There are no victims, just volunteers.
My Pops was right. If your values are disposable, for anything, so is your dignity.
Blaming anyone for that but yourself is a mistake that will likely cost you a lot more than a round of golf or an afternoon at your favorite fishing hole. Your values, whatever they are, define you. So the next time you hear some heartbroken man saying “I gave up everything for her, and she still screwed me over,” take a moment reword that statement in your head. “I gave up everything for her, leaving her no reason to respect me, and me no reason to respect myself. So, of course, I got screwed over.”
For those of you who think I am too hard on men who get shafted in relationships, I understand. Still, until men quit entering relationships in a bent over position, this will keep happening.
