Any man who criticizes the Feminist movement or speaks on issues affecting men and boys will assuredly be accused of turning off women. The shaming tactic ranges from “You must be a bitter virgin who can’t get laid” to “No woman is ever going to sleep with you with an attitude like that.” This tactic pimps female affection as an incentive for ideological compliance. Laughably, these jerks claim to respect women.
However, we shouldn’t congratulate ourselves too much for seeing through that howler. I recently had a conversation with an associate, with whom I’ve had many conversations on gender issues. In short, she said “Now that you’re aware of these issues, it’s probably best if you just keep your head down. You’ll be smart enough to avoid the risks and continue to build on your success, and you’ll stand out above other men.”
While this is certainly somewhat coldblooded, I can’t heap too much scorn. Because it is really no different from the programming that has driven humanity since long before we were human.
Competition is vital to survival, innovation, and personal growth. We refine our ideas, our creations, and ourselves through healthy competition. And it is only natural that as a man competes, grows, and becomes more successful, he will be more attractive to women. I would suggest that our focus as men should be to achieve fulfilling and meaningful goals rather than simply chasing women. But desiring companionship and bonding with women is a healthy desire when kept in balance. It is natural to want to feel desirable. Just check yourself on your way up the ladder in pursuit of whatever goals you’re after.
On the other hand, idealizing success with the ladies at all costs is unhealthy competition. If you’re committing crimes for resources and to seek female approval, you’re a violent jerk and deserve what’s coming to you. If you’re stepping on other people’s heads to achieve success with the ladies, you’re an asshole. And if you perceive human rights activism as counterproductive to attracting females, you’re a loser.
Consider these social ills, which affect both men and women and are the result of unhealthy competition: Perceiving people as resources to be exploited. Unnecessary wars and occupations around the world. Fatherlessness and the breakdown of the family, which is very damaging to children and is a root cause of crime. Suicide. Workplace deaths. Cultural denial of victims of rape and domestic violence. Lack of respect for human life. And that’s just scratching the surface.
Any woman who will reject you for helping people or furthering a worthy cause isn’t worth getting to know. And if you’re willing to step on people’s heads (or worse) to build status, it’s time to seriously re-examine priorities. Maybe none of these bad things are happening to you. Maybe you even profit from some of it. But then it happens to a man you care about, or it happens to you. Was it worth it?
If there are any gender ideologues reading this, they’re probably nodding and thinking “See? Patriarchy hurts men too! It’s the fault of men!” I would kindly request that you stop denying women personal agency. Remember, “women hold up half the sky.”
Women are also extremely competitive in the pursuit of wealth and status. And this has it’s own healthy and unhealthy sides, as the above. Some women are violent, some are con artists, some are bullies and tyrants. Women also play a part in the perpetuation of unhealthy male competition. Some women purposefully egg on men to be violent and corrupt on their behalf. Others enjoy getting together with dysfunctional men, as long as he’s exciting and/or keeps bringing in the cheddar. And many others use manipulative tactics to keep men’s focus on pleasing women (especially themselves.)
Men and women need to ask themselves: Are you engaged in healthy competition? Or are you adding to the misery in the hopes of some sweet stuff? (Whatever that may be.) And if you’re neglecting suffering in your society because it might interfere with your selfish status climbing, just remember that you could be the next to fall on hard times.
Humans are animals, driven by the same instincts. But we are also human, and can aspire to better. We have come a long way from our primitive natures in many ways. Maybe it’s time to take the next step. Let’s engage each other in healthy competition, and eschew its unhealthy forms. Let’s protect each other’s human rights. Let’s not seek love on top of a pile of corpses.
