One of my previous articles on “Eating while MGTOW” drove feminists into an online rage. Both my bunnyluv Amanda Marcotte and some other chick with mammoth boobz had massive freakouts over the idea that MGTOW might organize their lives so that they can withdraw from a feminist world that openly hates us even as it loves stealing the fruits of our labor.
They are desperate to shame men who can no longer be shamed by women. They hate us and they really, really want us back so they can fail to shame us some more as they rape our wallets. No thanks, honey. It is over. Stop stalking us and get out of our kitchens.
As sweet as their feminist tears are, I prefer dessert, especially when I invent it myself.
Growing up in a small-town Southern Bible-belt traditional community almost certainly means you ate a lot of sugary, gelatin-based, mom-made desserts in school and at church potlucks. Later in life, rapey “jello shots” (flavored gelatin prepared with vodka instead of some of the water) became all the rage in the club scene that is normalized by rape culture. Add the smiling evil genius Bill Cosby as the advertizing face of Jello(tm) brand gelatin and you get the clear view of the extent to which gelatin desserts are proof that the patriarchy hates and oppresses all women through all time.
Which makes gelatin the perfect candidate for the MGTOW lifestyle cuisine.
Although packaged, pre-flavored gelatin is inexpensive, the pallet of fruit flavors is limited and the amount of sugar is appalling, especially if you are trying to cut back on it, as I am. In Dallas, all of the sugar-free pre-sweetened options in gelatin are sweetened with Aspartame(tm), which is not my favorite artificial sweetener: it tends to degrade both with age and when heated, making this sort of sugar-free Jello(tm) less than ideal, taste-wise.
So, to feed my sweet tooth, I decided to make my own.
My favorite sweetener is Splenda(tm) brand artificial sweetener (sucralose). Sucralose is also the sweetener used in the so-called “water enhancers” like Mio(tm), and Dasani Drops(tm). Many stores now carry less expensive house-brands of these products but I have tried several and have yet to find one I would buy a second time.
We drink a lot of water here in Dallas, Texas – summers are long, windy and brutally hot. I keep about 7 liters of water in my refrigerator and I use “water enhancers” as a convenient way to perk up the water’s flavor.
In my area, unflavored gelatin can be purchased in bulk boxes of pre-measured packets for about one-half to one-fourth the price of flavored gelatin. I used two packets of “Knox(tm) Original Gelatine Unflavored) for my latest experiment: combining water-enhancers with gelatin to make my own customized dessert. My latest recipe:
Gender Binary MGTOW Gelatin
(makes four generous servings)
This dessert is a two-layer gelatin mold. You will need a medium-sized non-reactive container (glass or plastic, for example) that holds at least 1 1/2 quarts/liters.
First, prepare the bottom layer:
Layer one:
Juice of one lemon, freshly squeezed
3 packets of Splenda sweetener (I used the version “with Fiber”)
1 packet of gelatin
2/3 tsp (3.5 ml) of Dasani Drops “pink lemonade” flavor
One cup (240 ml) of boiling water
One cup (240 ml) of ice cubes with water (or use vodka or tequila from the freezer)
In the non-reactive container, add the lemon juice and the packets of sweetener. Sprinkle in the gelatin and add the boiling water. Stir until gelatin is dissolved (about 30 seconds or less). Add the flavoring and iced water. Stir until the ice is completely melted and refrigerate immediately.
Proceed to your computer and read up on the latest feminist-driven rape hoax. There are always a wide variety to catch up on.
After an hour the first layer should be congealed enough for you to start on the second, top layer.
Layer two:
3 packets of Splenda sweetener (again I used the version “with Fiber”)
1 packet of gelatin
2/3 tsp (3.5 ml) of Dasani Drops “strawberry kiwi” flavor
One cup (240 ml) of boiling water
One cup (240 ml) of heavy cream (or a creme liquor from the freezer)
One cup frozen raspberries (or your favorite low-sugar frozen fruit)
In a new mixing bowl, add the Splenda and gelatin. Add the boiling water. Stir until gelatin is dissolved (about 30 seconds or less). Add the favoring, the heavy cream and the frozen berries. Stir briefly. Remove the container with the first layer from the refrigerator and pour the creamy second layer on top of the first. Chill in the fridge for two more hours or until set. If not eating immediately, cover before storing in fridge.
I serve a huge slab of the result (about 1/4 of it) with more fresh cream poured on top.
Here’s another version of this dessert that riffs of recipes for Key Lime Pie.
Key Lime Gender Binary MGTOW Dessert
(makes four generous servings)
First, prepare the bottom layer:
Layer one:
Juice of 15 Key Limes, freshly squeezed about 1/2 cup (120 ml)
8 packets of Splenda sweetener (I used the version “with Fiber”)
1 packet of gelatin
8 oz (226 gm) of cream cheese, room temperature
1 cup of pecan halves
In one-cup measuring cup add the juice of 15 limes and enough water to make 1 cup. Transfer to a microwave-safe container and microwave at full power for 3 minutes or until piping hot.
In a non-reactive container, add the packets of sweetener and a bit of the zest from the key limes. Sprinkle in the gelatin and add the boiling water/juice mix. Stir until gelatin is dissolved (about 30 seconds or less). Add the cream cheese and beat/mix until the mixture is uniform. Add the pecans (they should float on the surface) and refrigerate immediately.
Proceed to your computer and read up on more feminist-driven rape hoaxes..
After two hours the first layer should be congealed enough for you to start on the second, top layer.
Layer two:
3 packets of Splenda sweetener (again I used the version “with Fiber”)
1 packet of gelatin
2/3 tsp (3.5 ml) of Mio “fruit punch” flavor
One cup (240 ml) of boiling water
One cup (240 ml) of heavy cream (or a creme liquor from the freezer)
One cup frozen raspberries (or your favorite low-sugar frozen fruit)
In a new mixing bowl, add the Splenda and gelatin. Add the boiling water. Stir until gelatin is dissolved (about 30 seconds or less). Add the favoring, the heavy cream and the frozen berries. Stir briefly. Remove the container with the first layer from the refrigerator and pour the creamy second layer on top of the first. Chill in the fridge for two more hours or until set. If not eating immediately, cover before storing in fridge.
Serve the result (about 1/4 of it) with more fresh cream poured on top.
When prepared as above, the Gender Binary Desserts will both challenge the feminist notion of fluid gender roles and be thicker than the gelatin desserts you remember from your youth. Add more liquid during preparation for a softer result. If you want a very firm, chewier result you can cut the liquid down almost 50% for an extreme, radfem version of the dish.
When dealing with feminists, few things are as satisfying as delivering them their just desserts.
Previous entries in Eating (While) MGTOW:
Buck buck chicken
Look at the flowers! stoup
Chili, no beans. I got your powder
