I’ve been hearing women say, for far too long now, that when it comes to talking about problems, “I don’t want him to fix my problems. I just want him to listen to me. I just want to be heard.”
Ladies, I don’t know what 10-cent self-help rag you read that in, but it’s total bullshit.
Look. Men solve problems. It’s what we do. It’s what we’ve always done. Expecting us to listen to you drone on for 45 minutes about shit you have no intention of resolving isn’t only a complete waste of time, it’s downright rude.
Men don’t listen to each other wallow in problems. We identify what’s wrong and go to work on a plan to set it right. Once we figure out that the man we’re listening to is just yammering about something with no interest in fixing it, we lose interest right away. Said yammerer will find himself without an audience, and quickly.
Any self-respecting man will do the same thing with you. And you know what? That’s exactly the correct response.
So, the next time you want to hold a man hostage to your endless stream of complaints du jour, do yourself and especially him a favor. Take that shit to your girlfriends. Have a bring-your-own-Kleenex party and go to town. Try your best to out whine each other. And whatever you do, don’t try to fix any of it. That would spoil the moment.
But when you get ready to actually DO something about the things that bother you, the man in your life will be happy to be there for you. Like I said, it’s what we do.
Solving problems. It’s a man thing.