Preparing food while going your own way as MGTOW can be elaborate or simple but unlike feminism and feminists, it is important to be open to new ideas, especially since nutrition information, like feminism. is marred by faulty science and ideological garbage:
[T]here is a large body of evidence demonstrating that the systematic misreporting of energy and macronutrient intake renders the results and conclusions of the vast majority of federally funded nutrition studies invalid. – Edward Archer
In order to protect their ideological purity feminists construct “safe spaces” or “hug boxes” free from the rigors of reality, guarding their delicate female constitutions and sensibilities from hard work, toxic male sexuality, and the annoyance of logic and facts. Hug boxes are used for clutching pearls, exploiting male slaves and cooking up flimsy-as-tinfoil rape hoaxes like the UVa-Rolling Stone-Jackey Coakley debacle and other feminist failures culinary, journalistic and legal.
Since feminists obsessed with both hating men and, oddly, assuming those hated men’s traditional roles have no value as women or logicians, it is incumbent on men to master traditional women’s kitchen roles, particularly since kitchens, unlike feminists, are of at least modest utility in maintaining our diets and health.
To that end, I am exercising my vaunted patriarchal privilege to co-opt the tinfoil feminist hug box and retasking it as a tasty, easy and healthful way to prepare an inclusive and diverse selection of vegetables, either as a main dish or as a side dish to a proper meat-based man’s meal.
The following recipe is from my most recent experiments but you can adapt it in many ways I’ll discuss after.
Hug box feminist vegetables
(serves 1 very generously or 2)
- One 2′ x 1′ sheet of aluminum foil (60 cm x 30 cm sheet of al-u-min-i-um foil).
- 1/2 Red Bell Pepper
- 2-3 Button Mushrooms
- 1/2 Small Carrot
- 1 Yellow (Summer) Squash
- 1 large or 2 small cloves Garlic
- Fresh ground black pepper
- Spices [I used Ms Dash(tm) Southwest Chipotle]
- 1/2 stick butter
- Splash of teriyaki sauce
Cooking different vegetables at the same time can be challenging because each has its own unique cooking times and properties. Often I’ve seen stir-fry recipes that insist on using no more than 1 or 2 vegetables in order to avoid this problem.
The solution is to cut each vegetable into a specific.size and thickness so that identical cooking times achieve equity-of-outcome, a feminist ideal impossible with people unless feminists use the knife of sexism on men.
Pre-heat the oven to 400-425 degrees F or whatever temperature is called for in your main dish (if any).
Temporarily place the foil into a shallow vessel (such as a cast-iron skillet or collander) to create the beginnings of a hug box you can fill with vegetables.
For the red bell pepper: slice in half and store one half for some other use. Seed and de-vein the remaining half, then cut lengthwise into 8 strips of roughly the same thickness. Place in the hugbox.
Rinse the mushrooms under running tap water and slice each into 5 sections. (The water they absorb during rinsing will add to the steam in the hugbox.) Add mushroom slices to the hugbox.
For the carrot, I cheated like a feminist wife – I regularly buy a bag of crinkle-cut carrot slices from the store and I tossed a small handful into the hugbox. To mimic the effect, slice the carrot at a 45 degree angle into even slices and add to the hugbox.
For the squash, I cut off the top and bottom, then sliced it into chunks as follows: starting at one end, slice off a 1 inch chunk at a 45 degree angle. Rotate the squash 1/4 turn, and slice off another chunk. Repeat rotating and slicing until you have 10-12 chunks. Add to the hugbox.
Smash and peel the garlic, then mince and sprinkle over the veggies in the hugbox.
Cut the butter into 4-5 segments to top the hugbox.
Add the pepper and spices and a splash of teriyaki sauce.
Fold the foil to close the hugbox by width, and then by length, leaving a small hole at the top to let the steam out.
Place in oven for 20-45 minutes depending on how you like your vegetables – tender-crisp to soft to mush.
Enjoy as a side or main dish.
Donate the leftover aluminum foil to your local rape culture group so they can recycle it into fragrant feminist headgear to repel patriarchal mind control rays.
Other vegetables can be added or substituted into your hugbox, including:
- Fresh Green Beans
- Snow peas
- Broccoli (peel & slice stems; chunk florets)
- Cauliflower (chunk florets)
- Onions (slice about 1 cm thick)
- Zucchini (chunk like summer squash)
- Whole Sweet Corn
I haven’t tried potatoes in the hugbox and I wouldn’t recommend them. I also haven’t tried hard winter squashes (acorn, butternut, pumpkin, etc.) but I might experiment with them in the future. I’m not a fan of green bell peppers but if you like them they can be used as well.
Green vegetables may discolor a bit in the hugbox. Adding a pinch of baking soda to the bottom of the hugbox will retard this process, theoretically, anyway.
The hugbox will also work on a grill over indirect heat.
Not all vegetables are feminists but when you get down to it, most feminists are vegetables.
Hugboxes have their uses but only in the kitchen or while being grilled. Otherwise, keep your distance, especially if feminists are nearby, if only to preserve your healthy, manly appetites.
Some previous entries in Eating (While) MGTOW: